When a grandma accidentally texted me

[CumiaPoodle]

You're friends with a nigger?

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Yeah my best friend is half black I only have one white friend who thinks he’s a hardcore racist but I’m the only one dropping hard Rs in public and spitting at black people I get into fights with. Dude really thinks he’s the gatekeeper for racism. But when I do the hitler Roman arm thing in public he tells me to stop. I made him a nice noose out of string and hung it from his visor on his car and he got mad.

 

[guest]

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Bjork's asshole: exists
Me:

 

[guest]

Yeah my best friend is half black I only have one white friend who thinks he’s a hardcore racist but I’m the only one dropping hard Rs in public and spitting at black people I get into fights with. Dude really thinks he’s the gatekeeper for racism. But when I do the hitler Roman arm thing in public he tells me to stop. I made him a nice noose out of string and hung it from his visor on his car and he got mad.

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

I want a @Ricci Ryda, @CumiaPoodle & @Nigger Jim reality show so bad, just you fuckers travelling around the world.

 

[guest]

I want a @Ricci Ryda, @CumiaPoodle & @Nigger Jim reality show so bad, just you fuckers travelling around the world.

I'm not allowed in a lot of countries though.

 

[Harry Powell]

This is the kind of shit I live for

I truly regret it. I thought it was fawkin’ hilarious in the moment but now I think I was just an evil drunk asshole acting out.

I was texting her sister and implying their dad had molested me as a child, I texted her Mom and “confessed” I had been having sex since I was a teen and didn’t believe in God, emailing her professors that they were NIGGERS, just anything inflammatory I could think of.

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

I'm not allowed in a lot of countries though.

Because you're gay?

I understand.

 

[guest]

I truly regret it. I thought it was fawkin’ hilarious in the moment but now I think I was just an evil drunk asshole acting out.

I was texting her sister and implying their dad had molested me as a child, I texted her Mom and “confessed” I had been having sex since I was a teen and didn’t believe in God, just anything inflammatory I could think of.

That's actually pretty fuckin funny

 

[guest]

Because you're gay?

I understand.

Because I'm a felon.

(Who fucked femboys in the pen)

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

Because I'm a felon.

Felon/gay, tomayto/tomahto

 

[guest]

You won’t like it the first time. But the second listen you’ll love it. The last two albums, the songs are serialized. As in like there’s an overarching theme to it. It’s not what earlier fans would like. But the nigga has gotten so much better as a song writer. I fuck around with song writing and if I lived two lifetimes i couldn’t do what he does. Listen to body paint off of the new album. You like the strokes at all?

I like it when bands try new things i certainly wil l give those albums a listen. I heard a song of them recently and i can’t find it anywhere, it was a 50’s style ballad with great harmonies and Alex Turner really was crooning to the max. Maybe you know which song i’m talking about.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

I want a @Ricci Ryda, @CumiaPoodle & @Nigger Jim reality show so bad, just you fuckers travelling around the world.

Thank you man. I’m not that interesting myself I just enjoy telling stories cuz I’ve seen a lot of weird shit. And I enjoy entertaining people if we did that I’d be behind the scenes recording and getting my ass licked by down on their luck fellas who are a week away from suicide. You know I’m a huge cakehorn fan

 

[guest]

getting my ass licked by down on their luck fellas

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

Thank you man. I’m not that interesting myself I just enjoy telling stories cuz I’ve seen a lot of weird shit. And I enjoy entertaining people if we did that I’d be behind the scenes recording and getting my ass licked by down on their luck fellas who are a week away from suicide. You know I’m a huge cakehorn fan

Visit The Netherlands, @Patreeky and me will show you fellas a good time, we'll find a way to smuggle @Ricci Ryda into the country.

And I'm not a week away from suicide, but a few seconds, I'm a fan of you too brotherman, especially your peckah.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

I like it when bands try new things i certainly wil l give those albums a listen. I heard a song of them recently and i can’t find it anywhere, it was a 50’s style ballad with great harmonies and Alex Turner really was crooning to the max. Maybe you know which song i’m talking about.

He’s been crooning a lotttt he switched up his singing style. Off the last album the space casino one is a song called ultra cheese which is amazing. Best song on the album. I’ll link it for you, for whenever you’re bored. Great drinking song cuz of the bittersweet feel. and I’ll link body paint off the new album. It’s one of the more digestible songs off the newest album

 

[guest]

we'll find a way to smuggle @Ricci Ryda into the country.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Visit The Netherlands, @Patreeky and me will show you fellas a good time, we'll find a way to smuggle @Ricci Ryda into the country.

And I'm not a week away from suicide, but a few seconds, I'm a fan of you too brotherman, especially your peckah.

I must confess that’s not actually my dick. I’m a lot darker and not as long but decent girth

 

[guest]

Unrelated note: this picture makes me laugh my ass off because every time I see it I imagine he's in the middle of that Tom Sizemore orgasm.

UUUUUUUUUUUUNH UUUUUUUUUH! MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

 

[CumiaPoodle]

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Unrelated note: this picture makes me laugh my ass off because every time I see it I imagine he's in the middle of that Tom Sizemore orgasm.

UUUUUUUUUUUUNH UUUUUUUUUH! MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

Fucking ribs I forgot about Tom and his sissy cumming

 

[guest]

Fucking ribs I forgot about Tom and his sissy cumming

I want to blow like that next time I get laid, but I know I'll just start laughing.