The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

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You're ruining thanksgiving!

 

[Dirty diaper mod #1!]

You're ruining thanksgiving!

*ruined

 

[Turk February]

*ruined

Thanksgiving ends when we hit 169 pages.

 

[Turk February]

It's fucking tradition.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

Anyone ever done a 96? You just lay there and fart on the back of each other's heads

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

I don't know if it's sexy or what. Penis chinese penis has fried my dopamine receptors

 

[Turk February]

Let's add a few more pages to this bullshit. What's the worst experience/worst strip club you've been to?

 

[Turk February]

I once went to an amateur night and one of the girls was not just fat but I'm pretty sure literally retarded. I voted for her because of the novelty.

 

[Turk February]

I'm not talking like "that girls retarded". I mean like drool cup retarded.

 

[Turk February]

This was also Kitchener which has, notoriously, one of the best strip clubs in the country. This wasn't like a rural wtf strip club

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I don't really have any interesting strip club stories. The coolest one was in Hull and I think I was underage.

 

[Turk February]

I don't really have any interesting strip club stories. The coolest one was in Hull and I think I was underage.

At one point in Brantford I lived by the gentlemans club. And I was in there so often the strippers gave me a nickname. This was in my Howard Stern listening days so I thought this was normal.

 

[Child..]

This was also Kitchener which has, notoriously, one of the best strip clubs in the country. This wasn't like a rural wtf strip club

<--- got in a fist fight in Kitchener on Christmas break once. They literally took off their shirts, and it was snowing, Then shook our hands when it was over, "good fight guy" lol.

Also got in a fight in Brantford. Brantford in the 2010s was ROUGH af.

 

[Child..]

At one point in Brantford I lived by the gentlemans club. And I was in there so often the strippers gave me a nickname. This was in my Howard Stern listening days so I thought this was normal.

Wallahi (ALLAH witnesses all) I did not see your Brantford post before I replied.

 

[Turk February]

<--- got in a fist fight in Kitchener on Christmas break once. They literally took off their shirts, and it was snowing, Then shook our hands when it was over, "good fight guy" lol.

Also got in a fight in Brantford. Brantford in the 2010s was ROUGH af.

I've been in fights in both places too lol and I'm shocked how similar our experiences are.

 

[Turk February]

In Brantford a knife got pulled. In Kitchener we went 45 minutes playing fair until people called us gay.

 

[Turk February]

Also I'm not exaggerating with the 45 minutes thing. This was a fight at a house party with my teachers brother and it went on so long we agreed on breaks.

 

[Child..]

I don't really have any interesting strip club stories. The coolest one was in Hull and I think I was underage.

-Goes to club in Mississauga
-Skinny 6ft tall Russian approaches as soon as I walk in...correctly guesses Im Somali/Ethio/Eritrean or what not...all kissy ass, rubs crotch, all impressed etc.
-Literally talk for 2 mins, tell her "Direct me to one of your big booty hoes..." and she's all chipper and goes "k, will do...just give me $20 for my time"
-I seethe, "bitch...only woman who will see my cash is the one who goes in the VIP room with me"
-Gets racist, "I knew this was fucked. you're poor". Im lol'ing and dismissive
-2 mins later supervisor dweeb and new bouncer on his first day come. Try to make an example out of me. "Pay up dude"
-"No"
-Grabs me in bear hug. Lifts me up, swings my lightweight azz every which way
-Supervisor dweeb tells my friend (Jamaican guy) they know where he parked off site, they know his plates. Whatever that means
-Jamaican friend is scared. "Boq, just pay the $20 bro! just pay it!"
-Me still being swung around: "Wallahi Im not! BRO DONT GIVE THESE FUCKS A DIME! THEY ARE ROBBING US BRO! (utters Islamic prayers, freak out new boucer guy, who wasn't even really hurting me, just swinging me around while my feet are above floor lol)
-They realize Im like a nut/ got "dig-nuh-tee" or whatever, and their bluff doesn't work, they just kick us out.

EVERYONE in the club gathered around to watch and record "Worldstar!!!" etc.

When we left, my friend tells me "I thought they're gonna kill you bro...holee shit".

Ahh memories.

 

[Turk February]

-Goes to club in Mississauga
-Skinny 6ft tall Russian approaches as soon as I walk in...correctly guesses Im Somali/Ethio/Eritrean or what not...all kissy ass, rubs crotch, all impressed etc.
-Literally talk for 2 mins, tell her "Direct me to one of your big booty hoes..." and she's all chipper and goes "k, will do...just give me $20 for my time"
-I seethe, "bitch...only woman who will see my cash is the one who goes in the VIP room with me"
-Gets racist, "I knew this was fucked. you're poor". Im lol'ing and dismissive
-2 mins later supervisor dweeb and new bouncer on his first day come. Try to make an example out of me. "Pay up dude"
-"No"
-Grabs me in bear hug. Lifts me up, swings my lightweight azz every which way
-Supervisor dweeb tells my friend (Jamaican guy) they know where he parked off site, they know his plates. Whatever that means
-Jamaican friend is scared. "Boq, just pay the $20 bro! just pay it!"
-Me still being swung around: "Wallahi Im not! BRO DONT GIVE THESE FUCKS A DIME! THEY ARE ROBBING US BRO! (utters Islamic prayers, freak out new boucer guy, who wasn't even really hurting me, just swinging me around while my feet are above floor lol)
-They realize Im like a nut/ got "dig-nuh-tee" or whatever, and their bluff doesn't work, they just kick us out.

EVERYONE in the club gathered around to watch and record "Worldstar!!!" etc.

When we left, my friend tells me "I thought they're gonna kill you bro...holee shit".

Ahh memories.

One of the most southern Ontario stories on the whole thread.

 

[Child..]

Another thing I remember from that weird night...I spoke with a Latina stripper, and asked her where she's from. She said "Chile originally", and I remembered hearing/reading about a massive Chile earthquake, and told her...She had no idea and I freaked her out, next thing I know she's calling long distance and very worried over family.

This happened night of, or following night to this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_Chile_earthquake I remember it like it's yesterday

I remember only seeing her become "human" the moment she became worried, she was all business mode until then.