I write at bars multiple days a week

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

I get anxiety in crowded bars because I don't like the cramped atmosphere and people getting too touchy/rowdy when drunk.
One of my mantras is take a deep breath, remember that this is not hooligans and you're not attention hogging faggot Patrick S. Tomlinson.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

Pat's tardloop life amazes me.

Be retarded and fail constantly double down on the retarded failing and repeat.

He's so far fucked up he will eventually lap himself.

 

[JoeCumiaDotCom]

By the way, note that Pat is trying to relate to a bunch of women humblebragging about guys hitting on them. I really think once Pat finally realizes that women find him repulsive, he will go trans. Maybe it will happen when Niki divorces him.

I'm hoping Niki is the one that troons out.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

They tap his shoulder to ask him why he has that gay Fascist sticker on his laptop like a faggot

*tap on Pat’s shoulder, followed by genuine look of confusion your face because you don’t know what you just touched*

“Hey, sorry man, can I use thi…”

*Patrick rudely interrupts*

“Ugh ok ok, you found me. Happy now, child? I am in the middle of a key chapter, please keep it brief. How can I help you?”

“Yeah sorry man, just wanted to know if you’re waiting on somebody? We’re short an extra bar stool”

*Patrick, fatly, has his laptop bag and an Eastbay nerd backpack on an empty barstool*

*agitated* “sure, little one, just let me work in peace, please.”

*guy walking away, annoyed, mutters to himself*

“what a fat fuck and a loser. I hope he has no kids.@

 

[Mike Glyer]

Just the thought of someone snatching his laptop away from him and then smashing it on the bar counter puts a smile on my face. Let out a little fawkin chuckle when I imagined Pat crying in anger.

That would be hysterical and only cost you like $100 to replace the value of his old piece of shit + punitive damages.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

That would be hysterical and only cost you like $100 to replace the value of his old piece of shit + punitive damages.

Could wait for him to take a piss or meatloaf shit and wipe computer clean

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

You know Pat gets a few beers in him and starts thinking how brilliant this last paragraph is. Probably around the same time he starts tweeting screenshots of his word doc. If I had to guess I'd say Pat is the one fatly bothering people about what he's working on.

 

[Stent]

I blame Hooligans for entertaining his nonsense. They should've pointed him to a table in the far corner immediately.

 

[BudDickman]

I blame Hooligans for entertaining his nonsense. They should've pointed him to a table in the far corner immediately.

He's been typing from the bar for almost a decade, maybe more.

 

[wine-n-dine666ix9]

Reminds me of Colin shitting all over Norton for pulling out his laptop at the Cellar table



[1:09:47]

 

[guest]

I love that this forum made "fatly" an adjective

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

That’s what’s so funny, he doesn’t realize the point of these tweets were for women to pretend to be upset that they just “can’t go anywhere without being hit on” and he busted in like an idiot. He comes in like gay friend with “OMG I KNOW! Like, ugh! It’s the worst! Honey I didn’t come here for you!” And he was so excited since he read something about bar behavior he made sure to let these ladies know he’s the cool guy that spends multiple nights a week in bars like a sad and pathetic alcoholic. Ooopsie Doodles!

 

[guest]

Perfect time to just say "hush child" when he replies, "I'm writing my next novel" .

 

[guest]

I would love to just go up to him at an autograph signing and say oh my God I read one your novels in prison.

IT WAS DOG SHIT.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

Do not interrupt the creative while he is creating, child.

View attachment 23278View attachment 23279

Holy shit, he has to be gay. That woman is clearly desperately horny, walking into a bar in the afternoon alone immediately approaches the first dude she sees. She wants to catch a hot load bigly.

 

[Jim Norton’s Wife's Cock]

He wants to be Ernest Hemingway so bad. Except Hemingway woke up at 5am every day and wrote for five hours...sober. He drank after. Not during. You fat nutjob.

Ernest Hamingway.

 

[guest]

Ernest Hamingway.

Fatass HeavyGay

 

[guest]

Ernest Hamingway.

FatFuck PigFace Retard

I know that name doesn't sound like Ernest Hemingway but it's accurate

 

[Jenna]

He has rationalized his alcoholism as a necessary requirement for the job. In order for Patrick to write:

1. He must be buzzed
2. He must be at the bar

The genius content he produces simply cannot be written under any other circumstances. Niki's poor dead dad worked his entire life, only to die early and pay for his son-in-law's "writing conditions".

The federal government gave him money to get drunk, write about space elephants, and then decide to abandon that. For a project called Christmas Carnage. Another round, it's part of my writing process!

 

[MonsterSteve]

Oh good, he puts his disgusting sweaty hat on the bar.