The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

I remember house parties where we'd snort and parachute e and the line ups for my bathroom were tremendous.

 

[Turk February]

My friend, I won't say her name because it's very distinctive would make intricate lines of fetuses and swastikas. It was a wild time to be alive.

 

[T-t-t-Terry!]

You friend sounds hot but not really

 

[Turk February]

You friend sounds hot but not really

Oh, dude in her prime she was amazing. I never fucked her cuz I knew her since we're kids but should have. Skinny girl with massive tits which I never saw before or since.

 

[Turk February]

Got those weird black eyes like a deer. I still pump off to the thought of her sometimes. Another good reason to not mention the name of who I'm talking about.

 

[Turk February]

And now our special guest. The new host of unpopular mechanics for kids. That woman.

 

[Turk February]

I always wanna do a stream of my dog shit student films from high school but don't cuz I'm pretty protective of her and she's in every single one.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I've never had a girl that I hung out with regularly who I didn't bang unless they were family or a friend's gf.

 

[Turk February]

I've never had a girl that I hung out with regularly who I didn't bang unless they were family or a friend's gf.

90 percent of my friends growing up were girls which is probably why I'm so faggy and I never fucked or dated friends.

 

[Turk February]

This is the Canadian Thanksgiving yin and yang.

 

[Turk February]

Do you know how much joy I had chasing girls around with a hammer in third grade? Every boy should have a girl as a friend. Makes being an ass much funnier.

 

[Turk February]

Also, like one is now my lawyer, two occasionally cowrite for me. I didn't grow up around dumb broads.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Actually I used to hang out with the girl up the road with the ostriches and emus. Never banged her. I was pretty young though.

 

[Turk February]

Actually I used to hang out with the girl up the road with the ostriches and emus. Never banged her. I was pretty young though.

Can't say the same for the ostrich. Got fucked hard. Weird bdsm shit too.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Can't say the same for the ostrich. Got fucked hard. Weird bdsm shit too.

We used to chase them around and her dad would scream at us. "THOSE BIRDS CAN FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU DON'T GET IT!"

 

[Turk February]

We used to chase them around and her dad would scream at us. "THOSE BIRDS CAN FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU DON'T GET IT!"

What did he say when you fucked one!?

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

What did he say when you fucked one!?

He pulled a gun on me. Apparently the one I picked was his wife who was turned into an ostrich by the Canadian government for the crime of adultery.

 

[Turk February]

I think my neighbors are about to complain that I'm smoking indoors as much as I am but I can totally just go "I have COVID, I don't want to touch the door knob" check mate faggots.

 

[Turk February]

Btw @Mass.gov I know you love the photo of my old office covered in beer cans. If you saw the shit I'm in now you'd. I can't even get to my bed

 

[Child..]

Btw @Mass.gov I know you love the photo of my old office covered in beer cans. If you saw the shit I'm in now you'd. I can't even get to my bed

A lil taste...? can we get a peakster