"Pretend", a true crime podcast, did a triple feature on Pat published earlier this week. Includes interviews with Pat, Nikki and Hildy!

[RobertMewler]

In part 3, Rick's like "...voodoo dolls represenTing my ex-wife and her laTe husband!" and the host openly guffaws at the deranged absurdity. I've replayed it 15 times.

Dummy still calls them "crocheted" after I've corrrrecTed him multiple times that they were KNIT.

 

[Niki's Bull]

He graduated college at like 16 with a degree in mathematics which is why he liked to gamble - he could count cards. He was the smartest guy in any room yet was able have audiences relate to him as his “dumb guy” delivery. That’s why I really liked him so much, you knew he was brilliant and had an interesting point of view.

There’s a reason why so many comedians respected him and thought he was one of the greatest - nobody else was like him.

And of course Pat didn’t find him funny which explains all you need to know about Pat and his shit sense of humor. He’s a humorless dolt who thinks he’s a superior intellectual.

Here's Norm explaining why he's the funniest person to ever live. If people don't get this then they just don't get comedy:

 

[VizioDash]

 

[Harry Powell]

As with everything else in life, he just can’t accept any form of defeat.

It wasnt so much about his norm comment as it was the comment after. He wanted to be cunt and boast about his follower count like he was a better person because of it. So he showed how important his twitter account was to him and some people decided to try and see how he liked having that follower count taken away. They waited for him to post something that could possibly break TOS and reported it.

EVERYONE forgets that part. I was immediately all-in the second I saw that.

 

[HotDogJoe]

View attachment 137498

Man he really is stuck on the whole 'your life being already over' thing isn't he. I'm sure he thinks if he keeps saying it, he'll manifest it into reality.

 

[Imager]

I listened to the entire thing. There's just so much to digest.

Niki definitely made a huge heel turn with this. She was never a face (I mean, just look at her) but she didn't seem invested or involved until this podcast.

She's culpable but there's a tiny thing she said that makes me feel slightly sorry for her. She said at one point that us pests know everything, everything! They find out everything! Like her mom in the hospital, etc. etc.

The very first real swaTTing that we speculate that Patrick orchestrated himself, Niki was not present. She had been on travel and Patrick was at the half-hovel, alone. The SwaT was called into the next door but the cops went to Patrick instead.

Then there was no swaTTing after Patrick lost his phone in the water on vacation. Then when they came back, swaTTings resumed.

I think Patrick convinced her that we really do know everything they do. And from her perspective, why shouldn't she believe it? She married someone who had a bright and promising career who ultimately became just as miserable as she is, and now (kitchen) sunk cost fallacy has set in. If she leaves him now, we win, and besides the pests will just follow her for the rest of her life because of all this so why not stay with retard?

It *can't* be that Patrick knows everything they do and just uses that information to trick her -- no, it's that we're just grade A cyberstlakers.

Not defending her, but since she's dumb enough to believe everything Patrick says apparently, I can see why she thinks as she does.

I'm looking forward to what happens nexxxxxxxxxxxT.

Also, curiously not mentioned was that SFWA gave Patrick $100k for his lawsuit. Patrick is a monumental fuck up. I don't think I could fail as hard if I tried.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

I didnt know swatting wasnt illegal in the US. Crazy that it is even true. I bet they were so deflated when they found that out. So all his "felony swatting" claims are bogus? Not condoning the swatting but it really makes all his " You are going to die in prison." responses pretty silly.

 

[Butterknife]

I didnt know swatting wasnt illegal in the US. Crazy that it is even true. I bet they were so deflated when they found that out. So all his "felony swatting" claims are bogus? Not condoning the swatting but it really makes all his " You are going to die in prison." responses pretty silly.

I think he said doxxing wasn't illegal in the US. Swatting is definitely illegal.

 

[AntSucks]

A thought I just had. I wonder if these interviews are practice for Nikki to be the spokesperson after Patrick goes to jail. He's letting her off the leash more and do more of the talking. They are obviously aware that it's a real possibility and Pat probably wants to martyr himself. He sits in jail for a few days while Nikki drums up the outrage mob.

I hope he goes to jail and then she divorces him and he can't do shit from behind bars.

 

[VizioDash]

I think he said doxxing wasn't illegal in the US. Swatting is definitely illegal.

He said swatting but meant doxxing. I'm sure it was hard for him to remember all the retarded shit they rambled on about.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

He said swatting but meant doing. I'm sure it was hard for him to remember all the retarded shit they rambled on about.

I thought I heard that right. The doxxing not being illegal makes more sense. I was puzzled when he said swatting. I thought there is no way thats true but then why would they say that?

 

[guest]

I thought I heard that right. The doxxing not being illegal makes more sense. I was puzzled when he said swatting. I thought there is no way thats true but then why would they say that?

Yeah swatting sounds pretty illegal, ngl...

 

[Consensual Rapist]

 

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

"dissolve my marriage"

What happily married woman says that instead of "divorce my husband"?

 

[Chive Turkey]

Fuck it, I'm having a coupla grapeefruit shandies so might as well finish this thing. The last part sounds like the most interesting one anyway.

Tape 3 Summary pt. 1

Spoiler

• Rick talks about the Patti LaBelle bomb threat that happened December 10th, claims they had already been swaTTed 2 times that day. Third time police came around midnight and they told the couple about the incident for some reason. This is a blatant lie. 911 records clearly show only single welfare check that day made at the hovel around half past 8. Patti LaBelle evacuation happened half past 9 that night. Not a single call made for the hovel the next day either. No chance they got the information from police, probably saw it in the news that night or the next day and decided to latch on. Niki also claims she got PTSD from the 3 swattings welfare check.
• Niki: "Sometimes they'll call and shut off our gas." We know this is horseshit, and inconsistent with the earlier story they told NBC (I think), where Pat said it happened once.
• Patti LaBelle story gets even more contrived. Rick now says a detective showed up at midnight to inform them their name was used in the call. Remember that it's impossible to get bodycam footage from an ongoing investigation but a fucking detective will make a housecall to spill beans on a bomb threat to people who are either random duped innocents, or prime suspects. Very convenient that this would be a type of visit that's impossible to make sure happened too. Piggy's 1.2 brain kicking in and reminding him that we sniff easily verifiable shit out immediately so decided to make it as vague as possible. Didn't kick in on time to make sure those earlier SWATTings in the day actually happened, though.
• Rick mentions the fake bomb threat made at a convention in Detroit in April 2022. You know, the one for which you can find zero mention of in any media or police records and which was confirmed to be bogus after a funster called the hotel lobby to verify. Rick claims bomb sniffing dogs had to come in.
• Pat oinks we called in a bomb threat at the Brewers' Home Opener this year, a few hours after the game was over. Again, zero record in any media of this ocurring.
• Host: "How does this end?" Rick: "With us dead or them in prison." And with that statement, Rick's implicit threat is laid bare. All of us must enjoy prison or his life is on the line somehow. Tolerating or even ignoring the funsters is tantamount to attempted murder. With us or against us, child.
• Niki: "They think they're untouchable because this has been going on so long." No, we know we're untouchable because no one here has done anything illegal and any idiot that has even hinted at doing so have been promptly banned. And we don't have to think, child, because the American legal system has judged us to be so.
• Rick: "Every step of the way, whenever we have reached out to law enforcement, they have been rewarded." Not really, law enforcement has just correctly concluded that we aren't culpable for the many real and imagined problems you face. Only one person here has been 'awarded' anything and it's money you forced him to spend in a frivolous lawsuit, and he still hasn't received his just due. #payquasi.
• Host acknowledged their reasons for why they're going public and fighting back but still sensibly points out that feeding the trolls is the wrong course of action. Aren't you rewarding them?
• Rick: "No, they want us to suffer in silence." The exact opposite of what a troll wants but exactly what a retarded narcissist fears most.
• "The only way to solve this is to engage with the public, educate the public and bring more pressure." i.e., squeal and lie as loud as possible and hope it'll magically change the laws because we tried going the legal route and it backfired spectacularly.
• Niki: "We have to do this because, we're on the extreme side of this, but they're doing this to LOTS of other people who have NO recourse or platform" Wait a second, I thought Patrick just said that you guys are our only targets?
• "They go after black people, trans people, whatever... [lol] and they'll go after young people who are just, like, you know, a black artist on Twitter [???]"
• "Two and half weeks ago we got swatted 7 times in 36 hours" Press X to doubt.
• "Two of those police responses were violent" Given their dishonesty so far, I'm gonna guess these were the only actual calls made where police officers showed up at all. I might go through all the calls of May and June to see if there's any truth to this at all.
• "We've this extensive security system we've spent thousands of dollars on." And we've never seen the police 'beating' down your doors or pointing their guns in your faces in spite of this.
• Audio from the swatting. Police are respectful and say she just needs to open the door to she if she's fine and then they'll leave immediately. Niki spergs at the police officers, says they've been there four times that day already. Interestingly, in that audio she says she "didn't know if they had guns", implying they weren't actually carrying them and she just assumed they did, which isn't consistent with what she's telling the podcaster.
• Host asks if anyone has actually beaten down their door after Niki hyperbolically implies the infamous sergeant did. Rick and Niki stumble over eachother umming and erring and saying it hasn't actually happened yet. But they have been illegally searched!
• Audio of the aforementioned illegal search. Police say they need to speak with Niki, the couple refuse and swear and scream at the cops. I don't think they opened the door so the cops only saw her through the glass of the door, so that might explain why they insisted on seeing her in person.
• Then again, Patrick says that sergeant had been there before and knew the situation. To be fair, I don't think he is lying about that and I can understand how that would be extremely frustrating. First sympathetic thing out of their mouths after 50 odd minutes of uninterrupted ranting.
• Patrick says he's narrowed the felonious felony cyberstalkers who commit felonies down to a handful of individuals, including Quasi. Still repeating that bullshit line that cost him his whole case because #DLTIW.
• First mention of the lolsuit. Niki begins by accurately describing it as a civil tort regarding defamation and the like, and Rick cuts her off with: "or even turn them over to local law enforcement for criminal charges", which wasn't the reality at all. Pat sued the Does for civil damages that they allegedly caused them, I don't think any of those charges could possibly lead to a criminal prosecution. I think Pig's intentionally trying to obfuscate his civil suit here, because the reality of it was 60 people getting sued for petty trolling shit which would struggle to be classified as misdemeanors. He wants people to assume that they were getting sued for the swattings, stalking, death threats, etc. instead of the petty shit he was actually going after them for.

 

[Chive Turkey]

Tape 3 Summary pt 2. (fawkin Boomia ova here)

Spoiler

• "We were told by law enforcement that, without their names, they couldn't prosecute them. So we literally had to go out and do their fucking jobs for them" Dishonest Piggy. Again, he's making it sound like the police isn't taking the swattings, death threats, etc. seriously but this is all waaaay before all that, when the worst crime anyone commited was register patrickstomlinson.com. The reality is that 1. people trolling and making fun of him isn't a crime so obviously police aren't going to do anything about that. 2. Law enforcement absolutely will go after anonymous people on the Internet if their crimes are serious enough, that's one of the things the FBI does. Problem for Pat is that no one here was doing anything criminal, and when he made poorly fabricated attempts at framing them to be doing so, the FBI dismissed it because they're busy with terrorism and bikes getting sharpeed isn't serious enough. 3. Swatting actually is something they take seriously, but the people who do shit like that are smart enough to cover their tracks and typically live outside of US jurisdiction. They're not posting pictures of themselves on a dopey radio forum, which should be clue enough as to why it has to be someone else behind it.
• A lot of retarded misunderstanding about how IPs and how the Internet and the law works which has been covered to death in the courthouse movie threads already.
• Rick: "and because of a pair of incredibly stupid and incompetent judges" Again, I'd be shocked if an impartial observer came away from this podcast not suspecting that Rick and Niki are a fawkin problem in their own right. Everyone except them is wrong and stupid. Law enforcement, the judicial system, any third party. They were all wrong and deserved to be childed. WHY US?
• "Doxing is legal in the US. It's illegal in the EU. It's even illegal in Russia, figure that out" Remember when Rick doxed Wisconsin electors and encouraged others to intimidate them into not voting for Drumpf? Remember when Rick went all in with Jackie doxing some random Swedish guy over a bogus lead?
• Rick lies about Quasi being one of the main harassers. Host makes it clear that that's the only way a website owner can be held liable under Section 230, and he seems to muse on how convenient that would be for Pat if that were the case.
• Host says the site is moderated somewhat, mentions Boomia's banishment.
• He reads the disclaimer in full, ribs.
• Niki: "The judge decided that their right to anonymity is more important than our right to physical safety, and wellbeing, and blahblahblah." Keep in mind that the lolsuit was filed in early 2021. None of the charges in it had anything to do with threats to "physical safety". The fake vandalism and first alleged SWATTing occurred much later that year, when it was becoming clear that Rick was losing the lawsuit. They're purposefully being dishonest and conflating the lolsuit with much later (and dubious) incidents.
• Pat and Niki both admit they owe $40,000 to Quasi.
• "We know the identities of one, and possibly two of these people"
• P: "He uses his real name for everything. He ran a podcast on us." N: "He wants the attention." On Dan.
• Pat says Dan flew to Milwaukee the day Mulchgate happened."
• P: "Once he knew I was home he went to the local bar" Actual Tough Guy implying Dan wouldn't dare enter Hoolies if there was any chance of him being there.
• Crocheted voodoo dolls gets another honorable mention.
• N: "He wants to think he's the ringleader and he's really important but I think he wants to be famous for any reason at all." Boy, she really sniffed him out.
• Patrick misrepresenting the Judge Pro Tem's words again. Section 230 is a "technicality"
• "Now we have a subscription fee to getting stalked." Hah that's actually a funny way of looking at it. Hope you enjoy it, fatso, you knew the risks and if you didn't you oughta sue your lawyers.
• Interesting. Niki says they're paying a "monthly stipend" that goes through Quasi's lawyer.
• Hildy pops up. Says he only learned about Patrick through a news article at the start of the year. So he never even met the guy and decided to "jump in and defend" Patrick? Jesus, he's even more pathetic than I thought. No wonder Rick doesn't give him the time of day.
• Hildy on us: "Most of the people are just there for laughs. Getting laughs at other people's expense. That's how the free speech cookie crumbles, that's fine." Fair assessment.
• "The trolls started coming after me because, God forbid Patricks gets another friend." Fucking yuck. He doesn't know who you fucking are and he clearly doesn't care to find out. You're not his friend, Patrick has no friends.
• "They went to my parents obituary page and they posted crude, graffiti-like stuff there. I'm an Atheist and I consider that to be sacred." ewwwww
• Host asks the very salient question of why on Earth Hildy would want to enter into this mess to begin with. "They didn't even know about you!"
• Answer: "If I'm going to build up Science Fiction in Milwaukee, then Patrick S. Tomlinson is one of the most prominent guys out there." I thought the Pat & Niki part was bad but this dude is gonna give me a douche seizure. Also, nice admitting you're doing this for selfish reasons, stupid. No wonder Rick wants no part of you.
• Hosts flatout says that Patrick eggs on the trolls.
• Hildy agrees, calls Rick a "self-described rabblerouser" and that he says a lot of things that are "acerbic" and "acidic, even."
• Host: "I think he's a charicature of everything the alt-right hates about liberals"
• Hildy: "Okay, *nervous chuckling* that's one way of looking at it."
• Hildy equates "don't feed the trolls" with telling women not to dress scantily or they deserve to be raped. Always with the rape with dis guy.
• Host: "There's nothing that Patrick could say that makes him deserves this level of harassment and threats" What about his own harassment and threats? Or is it suddenly okay to dox people and threaten them with violence as long as you do it on the lil' birdy site?
• Hildy actually kinda disagree, says it wouldn't be a problem if it was just words. Repeats his killer free speech cookie line.
• Hildy thinks crudely impersonating someone for comedic effect is 'defaming' them. I don't think it quite works that way.
• Host: "The Pests believe the SWFA is a haven for pedophilia. I'll let Jon del Arroz explain." Hahaha I was wondering what Javier said that got Pat to disown him and I think that one was the line. Rick thought he was going to get to tell his truth and he only manages to create another avenue for exposing and embarassing his pals further.
• *Solid few minutes of JDA dunking on Rick specifically. Advising him how to deal with the trolls.*
• Hildy and host go further into the pedophilia accusations.
• Dumbass Hildy namedrops Samuel Delaney, and has to explain that he supported NAMBLA.
• Hildy continues to defend Delaney's support as ''intellectual''.
• Hildy: "[Delaney]'s reason for not withdrawing that support was that he was in fact molested as a child, but because he was gay, he didn't find that experience traumatic, so now he refuses to characterize it as abuse." Hahahaha what the fuck. Hildeman is the worst fucking man anyone could have in their corner. Rick must've been livid listening to this.
• Hildy goes on to name more pedophiles that belonged to the SFWA's ranks unprompted. "There are only a few other examples."
• Mentions Marianne Zimmer Bradley, Walter Breen and their abuse of their daughter. Ed Kramer as well.
• Host actually has to interrupt Hildy naming the pedo and give some push back in their defence.
• "They want to condemn a community of hundreds of thousands because of these four examples" I think you might be inflating the numbahs a bit there, Eric.
• Host: "As vile and racist as the Opie & Anthony Forums are, it's their constitutional right to talk garbage."
• "Their freedom of speech does not give them the right to send the cops to someone's front door." Good thing nobody here did such a thing then.
• "But like Patrick said, swaTTing isn't ilegal in the US." Uhhh yeah it is, nor did even Patrick say anything that dumb. You're confusing it with doxing, spic child.
• Javier goes into Torswats and his methods.
• Rick: "Our stalkers are paying him to the tune of... a couple thousands of dollars at least at this point." How did Pig arrive at this number? Torswats himself said he stiffed him for $250 for a total of $500 for services rendered, and I think we were around swat #30 when he revealed himself. Javier just listed a few of Torswats' prices and $50 is what sounds most on point for what happened to Patrick in the worst cases. So that would be $2000 bucks for 40 swattings, and we know for a fact that many, if not most, of Rick's claimed swattings didn't happen at all or were wellness checks and other, considerably less dramatic things than shootings.
• "[Torswats] is also probably the one who's been making the bomb threats, although we don't have confirmation of that yet." So you don't want to say for sure the guy that's admitted to be the one who's swatting you, who you acknowledge to be the one who's swatting you, is the one behind the bomb threats, but you're perfectly willing to blame the brothermen for shit on far more spurious grounds? Odd how that works.
• Rick claiming we set up a Telegram and Gemini in his name and pretended to be him again, even though that's literally impossible.
• lmao Rick brings up the Norm cameo and they play it live.
• Rick: "My elderly parents have been swaTTed twice" Again, convenient how that happened out of the blue relatively recently, and outside of Milwaukee jursidiction so we can't verify it.
• Niki claims Pat's parents were swaTTed within that "7 swatts within 36 hours period" and she excludes them from those numbahs.
• "And there was a bomb threat within that 36 hours too" The Brewers' one that absolutely didn't happen, I'm suspecting.
• "This is just every day for us for 5 years" Yeah, you really were getting swatted on a regular basis back in 2018, right? The way they're sneakily trying to imply that their recent predicament was the statusquo from the start is revolting. It's so obvious what they're going for here.
• "We can no longer even relax in our own home because it's been violated so many times" Yeah, that's really the impression you get reading your Twitter. "These two need to relax more in their home."
• Hildy's closing statement. Acknowledges that if they had stopped engaging years ago, that it's likely the trolls would get bored and move on.
• Host to P&N: "Who has time for this? Wouldn't you enjoy having this much time on your hands?'' HAHA HOL-EE SHIT if only he know.
• Rick: "I would've been able to write 10 books in the time I lost to these motherfuckers" lol sure you would
• Rick's closing statement: "You asked earlier how this ends? This ends with someone taking this seriously enough to go out and find them and arrest them." i.e., we will whine and lie about the severity of our situation until law enforcement buckles and they start arresting the people WE deem to be the responsible ones despite all evidence, who we just so happen to be massively indebted to.

This one is great. A lotta unintentional hilarity.

 

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

can’t say that I have. Pretty sure he fled the country a long time ago when the heat was on. I can only assume hes in a shallow grave in Nicaragua or some other cartel shithole.

Me and @Petworth_dude will have to pour one out for him at our next mixer.

That pro vax fag probably died of a heart attack. The libstore called - they ran outta you!

 

[John Wayne Gacy]

A thought I just had. I wonder if these interviews are practice for Nikki to be the spokesperson after Patrick goes to jail. He's letting her off the leash more and do more of the talking. They are obviously aware that it's a real possibility and Pat probably wants to martyr himself. He sits in jail for a few days while Nikki drums up the outrage mob.

I hope he goes to jail and then she divorces him and he can't do shit from behind bars.

The old Rex Heueremann divorceroo

 

[Sue Lightning]

He went out of his way to paint Quasi as a target and fucked himself over in the long run by doing so. In any sensible suit of this kind, you'd never include the site owner unless you have blatant, unambiguous evidence that they committed a crime against you. You just subpoena them for the IPs of the individuals you might actually have a case against and they'll have no reason not to hand them over. It's why folks who run sites like these regularly advise users to watch their own backs. Brinton's argument for naming Quasi as Doe 1 was pathetic and utterly contrived and they never managed to jump that hurdle in court.

It's clear from Apostlegate that Rick expected Quasi to bow out and was surprised to learn that our Mughal master had the funds to defend his rights for so long. He thought everyone here was a bum like him who could only dream of taking legal action using loaned money. He thought wrong and now he will have to pay his (legally determined not to be) abuser.

As someone who knows nothing about the law, isn’t it precedent that those running the website, wether it be Quasi / Admin or our web host, have 0 legal responsibility in whats posted on here? Unless Admin literally has a big pin on the front page promoting SWATtings.

I am an average retard. Brenton was a lawyer and he didn’t know this.

 

[Africa.com]

There’s a reason why so many comedians respected him and thought he was one of the greatest - nobody else was like him.

And of course Pat didn’t find him funny which explains all you need to know about Pat and his shit sense of humor. He’s a humorless dolt who thinks he’s a superior intellectual.

and he never turned into what most comedians have turned into. He just did funny, he didn't go for clapter or send out gay annoying emails about politics like Louis.