Meanest thing you ever did?

[EraGodless]

When I was about 15 we went on a school ski trip to Killington, Vermont. The teachers basically left us to our own devices and we behaved like fucking animals, shoplifting from the general store in the complex we were staying at, stealing food, porno mags, cigarettes and beer from the walk-in cooler. I shudder thinking back, knowing what I now know about the American justice system. It's a miracle none of us were caught. But the meaner thing came on the second to last day.

We were having lunch at some on-piste canteen and me and my friends Ed and Tristan got talking to this group of American girls probably a year or two older than us. Naturally they loved our accents ("ohmygod, you sound like Hugh Grant!" etc) and Tristan got one of their cell numbers. They mentioned where they were staying and it was left vague but being the zero game-having 15 year old horny shitheads that we were, we took it as understood that we should drop by later that night. To be clear, they didn't say anything of the sort.

So we say our farewells, ski all afternoon and eventually go back to the resort. By now we've built the whole thing up in our heads. We've staked our claims "I'll have the blonde one" and already started bragging to our classmates "You're not getting so much as a bit of tit and we're going to be balls deep in cheerleaders in a couple of hours" etc. We look up the place they're staying and it's a hike. There are no buses, we obviously don't have a car but it'll be worth it we say. We walk for almost an hour, mostly uphill, in the freezing snow. Every time we feel our spirits slipping we console each other with fantasies of what lies ahead. A bacchanal awaits us. Fucking, sucking, wine and song.

Finally, we get there. Their complex is a lot smaller than ours and their room is on the basement floor. We knock on the door. Which one will answer? In what state of undress will she greet us? Will we just get right into the sex or will there be an awkward "how was the trip" prologue? The door opens. There stood a massive shirtless guy of about 20 years old. Ed and I were over 6 foot at this point and this guy towered over us. He was also built like a brick shithouse. Dude looked to us like "high school jock" out of central casting.

"Help you?" he said.

I'd be lying if I said I remembered any of these girls' names but let's call the one Tristan chatted up "Kristy."

"Yeah, er, is Kristy here?" Tristan squeaked.

"Who are you?" said Chad.

"Er, we met her and Emma and Jessica (?) earlier on the slopes. They told us to come by."

We smell the sweet smell of weed and can hear girls giggling and music playing so there's still a glimmer of hope. There are other male voices though too. The guy says "wait a minute" closes the door and is gone for what seems a lot longer. He comes back with a grin on his face and shakes his head. "Wrong room" he says and slams the door. We hear an explosion of female laughter.

We stood there for a minute like three lemons, three defeated lemons. We know we're not going to knock on the door and take it further. The guy could probably have taken all three of us at the same time and there were others with him.

"Fuck it" said Ed as he dropped his trousers and took a squat outside their door. I didn't need a shit but did take a lengthy piss on the carpet outside their door. Ed left what looked like a brown kielbasa for the Bro or one of the cunts to tread in. It was such a bitch move but we were young pussies. It wasn't until years later that I realised that some poor cleaner had to scrub my mate's shit out of the floor. We trudged back angry and humiliated and got absolutely torn apart by the rest of the boys, gleeful to learn of our failure.

The next day, Tristan, who could do a good American accent, phoned up the girl and told her her dad had just been killed in a car accident. She started crying and he broke character and started laughing and saying "gotcha, bitch." What awful little pricks we were.

I was thinking that you called the cops on Chad because of the weed and probably underage drinking.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

I busted right inside a girl that wasnt on birth control and didnt even pay for the Plan B. I honestly feel bad for that one, she was cool too.

And there was a girl that had a crush on me in college that was chubby, and years later I saw her at a bar and she had lost weight and was looking kinda good. I told her fantastic lies about how I always liked her in college, just to get laid. She was so excited. We made love and I havent talked to her since.

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Everyone wants to know more about this $400,000 titty.

She was maybe 30, on the heavy side, big tits. I am not a fan of tits but even I noticed her giant boobs. When he went for a feel he was being his usual asshole self and doing the “Julie, you look great, been working out?” while he strokes her arm. In this case, she jerked away and it pissed him off and he just went for it. I’ll never know, but I guess he thought my back was turned.

It was a clear grab, the only part he missed is saying “honk honk!” when he squeezed it. That’s what you guys are into right?

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

It was a clear grab, the only part he missed is saying “honk honk!” when he squeezed it. That’s what you guys are into right?

That and wolf whistling and calling them toots

 

[Nick Gerlips]

I called a guy fat on the internet.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

I called a guy fat on the internet.

Jesus. Just end the thread right here

 

[satanssockpuppet]

When I was 17 my next door neighbor ratted me out to my parents re: smoking weed behind the shed, so I poisoned his huge meticulously-kept garden with rubbing alcohol.

 

[guest]

There was a nice old man at the end of the street I grew up. He would keep 2 or 3 big 24-packs of pepsi in his garage.

I used to sneak in there once a week or so, fill up my backpack, and sell them for a dollar at lunch. I was like 11.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

was 15 got fucked up on some green jordan logo pressed e pills and punched a crosseyed girl on a trampoline.

in class gave a bic razor to a fat indian chick in middle school that was extremely hairy

 

[RedGlareRecipient]

I used to cuck this Jewish guy just because I could. The sex honestly just complicated a pretty good friendship with his lady, but that’s what his people deserve and so much more.

 

[Karl_Childers_Blade]

I was moving out of an apartment and into a new one, went and got a little caesars pizza and shoved it into the ac vent in the front bedroom and the one in the bathroom.

 

[Brooke Shields]

I pretended to toss a Milk-Bone on the floor. My dog had no idea where it was, but it was in my hand the whole time!

My mom got a new pup, eventually she's like 1 and i had a laser pointer on my keychain, she would move so fast back and forth trying to catch it with her face and paws with her hind in the air behind her. My dad and I would belly laugh very hard cause we've never done it before nor seen such a retardedly aggressive reaction.
I made it disappear by pointing it towards our lit fireplace cause red goes into red. It was human logic but not for dogs..

Then I got messages, mom would send pics of her staring at their fireplace when a fire was lit (they eventually had to put shit in front of it to keep her from looking for the dot with a lit fire). Same thing happened with their little fire pit in the backyard.

The dog got excited and started looking at the ground any time she saw/heard my car keys(any car keys eventually)
And now when I come over and my parents and I are standing up talking as I'm about to leave, she's looking at us and then checking the ground waiting for some little dot to come out. I haven't done that shit to the dog in years and it's still obsessed



Overall, i still put the laughs my dad and I had over whatever retarded mental anguish our stupid dog has from the laser pointer.
This is more a funny thing than something to feel bad about

 

[Udders]

When I was about 15 we went on a school ski trip to Killington, Vermont. The teachers basically left us to our own devices and we behaved like fucking animals, shoplifting from the general store in the complex we were staying at, stealing food, porno mags, cigarettes and beer from the walk-in cooler. I shudder thinking back, knowing what I now know about the American justice system. It's a miracle none of us were caught. But the meaner thing came on the second to last day.

We were having lunch at some on-piste canteen and me and my friends Ed and Tristan got talking to this group of American girls probably a year or two older than us. Naturally they loved our accents ("ohmygod, you sound like Hugh Grant!" etc) and Tristan got one of their cell numbers. They mentioned where they were staying and it was left vague but being the zero game-having 15 year old horny shitheads that we were, we took it as understood that we should drop by later that night. To be clear, they didn't say anything of the sort.

So we say our farewells, ski all afternoon and eventually go back to the resort. By now we've built the whole thing up in our heads. We've staked our claims "I'll have the blonde one" and already started bragging to our classmates "You're not getting so much as a bit of tit and we're going to be balls deep in cheerleaders in a couple of hours" etc. We look up the place they're staying and it's a hike. There are no buses, we obviously don't have a car but it'll be worth it we say. We walk for almost an hour, mostly uphill, in the freezing snow. Every time we feel our spirits slipping we console each other with fantasies of what lies ahead. A bacchanal awaits us. Fucking, sucking, wine and song.

Finally, we get there. Their complex is a lot smaller than ours and their room is on the basement floor. We knock on the door. Which one will answer? In what state of undress will she greet us? Will we just get right into the sex or will there be an awkward "how was the trip" prologue? The door opens. There stood a massive shirtless guy of about 20 years old. Ed and I were over 6 foot at this point and this guy towered over us. He was also built like a brick shithouse. Dude looked to us like "high school jock" out of central casting.

"Help you?" he said.

I'd be lying if I said I remembered any of these girls' names but let's call the one Tristan chatted up "Kristy."

"Yeah, er, is Kristy here?" Tristan squeaked.

"Who are you?" said Chad.

"Er, we met her and Emma and Jessica (?) earlier on the slopes. They told us to come by."

We smell the sweet smell of weed and can hear girls giggling and music playing so there's still a glimmer of hope. There are other male voices though too. The guy says "wait a minute" closes the door and is gone for what seems a lot longer. He comes back with a grin on his face and shakes his head. "Wrong room" he says and slams the door. We hear an explosion of female laughter.

We stood there for a minute like three lemons, three defeated lemons. We know we're not going to knock on the door and take it further. The guy could probably have taken all three of us at the same time and there were others with him.

"Fuck it" said Ed as he dropped his trousers and took a squat outside their door. I didn't need a shit but did take a lengthy piss on the carpet outside their door. Ed left what looked like a brown kielbasa for the Bro or one of the cunts to tread in. It was such a bitch move but we were young pussies. It wasn't until years later that I realised that some poor cleaner had to scrub my mate's shit out of the floor. We trudged back angry and humiliated and got absolutely torn apart by the rest of the boys, gleeful to learn of our failure.

The next day, Tristan, who could do a good American accent, phoned up the girl and told her her dad had just been killed in a car accident. She started crying and he broke character and started laughing and saying "gotcha, bitch." What awful little pricks we were.

You went from the UK to Vermont for a school ski trip? Were you already in the US for school? If not, god damn.

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

This girl I went to highschool with was hurting for that dick, but she was ugly. She was mad on my tip for a hot minute. We ended up at the same party and she got loaded fast. I'm out front smoking with blunts when girl walks out the front door, which is up 2 steps from the yard. She sees me and is fronting "I'm so drunk, I hope I dont fall" then proceeds to "fall" into me. I stepped to this side and just let her eat dirt. My boys and I are like "Damn, girl - you drunk" laughing and shit. Didn't even offer to help her up.

It goes on.

Weeks later she's house sitting some fine waterfront mcmansion for her Aunt and Uncle. She's still in the circle still feeling me, so she calls me talking about having a few people over. I'm like "yeah" and she's stressing nothing big. I give her the "No prob" and then turn around and tell the world about it. Fucking place was banging by 10p. Had drink, but it was running low, so I ask girl if there's any booze on site. She's like "yeah, right here, but we can't... Yada yada w/e". I'm like right, gave her some cash and told her to run and get some 151. As soon as she leaves, Aunt and Uncle's booze is on the kitchen counter and getting hit hard.

I slept with that girls best friend that night in a guest room, then stumbled out to a waterfront hammock and passed out smoking a cigarette.

 

[guest]

When I was in 8th grade I was spending the night at a classmate's house. For whatever reason I had the AIM password of my other friend who was this very attractive guy that all the girls wanted to get with (he was not with us). My classmate had the terrible idea of logging into this guy's AIM and messaging one of the ugly girls and saying how he loved her and wanted to be her bf and stuff. The girl was through the roof and was gushing over him and saying she was so happy and she loved him and yadda yadda. I didn't send any of the messages but I let my classmate say all that shit, and I still cringe about it to this day. Poor girl was probably heartbroken for so long after that and had trust issues. I've seen her a few times since then and never remembered to apologize.

Not me but my brother and his friend were at my Aunt's house for some get together, and while everyone was inside watching tv, they went into her tomato garden and picked all the tomatoes, then they got onto the roof and threw them at cars.

Also not me but one time me and my friend took LSD and walked around town. This was a Saturday night. At one point he really had to shit so he thought it would be funny to walk up to a church and just shit right in front of the entrance where people would be going to worship the next morning. Then he wiped his ass with their mail.

 

[analeggsalad]

I always thought those dead mom memes were just over the line, but damn if they didn't deliver some of the most violently hard laughs of my entire life

The one where she's in hell with that over the top smile, and another where they spliced half of her face with a high resolution photo of some 3rd world dude with a flesh eating disease that rotted away the skin on half of his face, exposing his skull, with fresh read gore on the edges of where the skin was still alive

 

[Mc.Faggot]

I got pretty hot around the time tinder came out after a decade of being a fat shit, and started fucking everything in sight like a thirsty man finding water in the desert. Hot or horrendous, old, young, married, single, didn't care.

One time I needed help moving a couch and I was new to the area and didn't know anyone, so I fucked a fat girl from tinder just so she would help me the next day. She instantly fell in love, and I let her think maybe we were gonna be a couple without actually saying it of course. Then, once the couch was moved, I blocked her everywhere. Yuckaroo, she had a gut like a soccer ball.

Reminded me of my slut years. This might be more of a humble brag, but, when I was a waiter some young fat chick was celebrating her getting engaged with some girlfriends, and when I mean fat I mean it.

Im sure you can guess were this goes, I seduce her, take her to my place, fuck her and she passes out

I was still awake and horny and a girl from work wanted to hang out, so i invited her over.

i take her to another room and we ended up fucking loudly. I guess the fucking woke up the beast cause I could hear the bed in the next room as she gets up and leaves while im plowing someone else

no idea if I did something wrong there, but I was pretty stoked she left on her own cause she was a mess

 

[WhereWeAt]

Now that we’re on the subject. When I lost my virginity I was 13 the following year all my other friends lost theirs. Besides one, he was older than us probably 16/17 and we made fun of him so much for being a virgin he started fucking his Rottweiler.

tuhbehonestwhicha, that probably takes way more skill than convincing a girl at that age.

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

Yo, I set some bitch on fire

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

I had a friend that I was beginning to dislike, and the whole gang was at the pub / beer garden. You could either buy pints or bottles at this place. Anyway, I go to the toilet and jack off with intent. I now have cum on my dick and inside my undies. Back at the table I'd make sure nobody could see me touching myself under the table, hand in pants. I put enough jizz on my finger, and while my dickhead friend wasn't looking, I put my finger in his bottle and smeared it on the inside.

He drank it. I was satisfied and don't really feel bad about it because he was a cunt.


Also when I was like 8 me and my cousin pissed in our grandfather's work boots. Being malicious was just fun back then.