why do women assume you know everything about the lives of their friends and family?

[According to My Cock]

My wife is a stay at home mom and new to NYC, being able to speak just basic English. She calls me every 20 minutes because she's lonely and scared. I'm trying to do my best for her and my sons seeing as I've fucked up so badly. Be grateful for what you have man. I just did 2 years in the can and missed her more than anyone in the world. Promised myself I wouldn't cheat anymore

 

[whippinghuskies]

OK I'm just getting into this again. Who is this guy exactly and what's his significance? Didn't he troll the homosexual haircut pig and attend court?

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

OK I'm just getting into this again. Who is this guy exactly and what's his significance? Didn't he troll the homosexual haircut pig and attend court?

He's a weird little leprechaun from the Boston area

 

[whippinghuskies]

He's a weird little leprechaun from the Boston area

Did he marry some subpar mestiza whose somehow still better than him?

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Did he marry some subpar mestiza whose somehow still better than him?

He married a shape-shifting Brazilian who apparently speaks little to no English. She's a bit over-the-hill but i don't think there's a brotherman here that wouldn't give her a good, honest fuck

 

[Racist Google Intern]

He married a shape-shifting Brazilian who apparently speaks little to no English. She's a bit over-the-hill but i don't think there's a brotherman here that wouldn't give her a good, honest fuck

She is a business owner too!

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

She is a business owner too!

I wonder how frequently Dan indulges in cleaning lady roleplay with Big Flav. Can he even convey the idea of it to her

 

[Cuphead]

Story of my life, brothaman

 

[Stent]

I especially like it when they start babbling in the middle of a thought they've clearly been focused on for an hour all alone before you stepped in the door, so you immediately don't even know who, what, when, or where she's on about.

 

[Mr. Fuck]

I had a girlfriend who got mad at me for not being able to keep up with all the random shit she told me about her nephew's mundane day-to-day life, even though I never met the kid. I never had the heart to tell her I didn't care at all.

 

[guest]

Cant live with em, cant live without em!

 

[cachorro]

Every time I call my mom she tells me what a new relative I’ve never known to exist is up to.

“So your cousin Sticky broke up with his girlfriend but still lives in her parents house. Isn’t that crazy?”

“Who?”

“You know! Mark! Cousin Sticky!”

“If his name is Mark why do they call him Sticky? Wait Nevermind don’t an-“

“YOUR AUNT TERRI WALKED IN ON HIM MASTURBATING AND CUMMING ON HIS OWN STOMACH WHEN HE WAS A KID”

 

[Turry]

Cant live with em, cant live without em!

You can have a wife and you can have a life but you can't have both at the same time amirite fellas?

 

[Uncle Floyd]

You can have a wife and you can have a life but you can't have both at the same time amirite fellas?

Q: Why do husbands die before their wives?
A: They want to.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

I once had a girl phone me at work just to chat.

I said 'yeah, I'm at work' three or four times and hung up.

She didn't do it again, so I guess I showed her who's boss.

 

[Stent]

How do we all feel about women who endlessly complain about things others do, but they constantly do those things as well?

I'm not a big fan.

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Welcome back, Richie

 

[Honeycomb Hideout]

Tried to to cordially ask "how was your day"...the response:

"So Elisha is a a Virgo..."

And i just left the room

 

[johnnynoname]

wife

this nigga

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

this nigga

Always the bridesmaid and never the bride, paisan