What's the worst job you ever had?

[guest]

Delivering newspapers as a kid sucked. Day in day out delivering the fuckin' things to people who would bitch about whatever got up their ass during the day so they'd take it out on the kid delivering the paper. If it got a little wet in the torrential rain or if their shitty mailbox was already full of junk so you had to shove the fucker in. At Christmas time a few people would give me a few bucks but that would be 1% of all the places. At the end of my route, up top of the only steep hill for 50 miles, there was an old prick who would constantly badger me about being 10 minutes late or whatever as though I had a timed schedule. One day his wife left me a card saying thank you etc and that he had died. I think she thought we were being friendly when I actually hated that old cunt and was so happy to hear he croaked.

The pittance I got paid probably didn't even cover the wear and tear on my bike. I reached the point where I just started dumping papers on big vacant lot with grass that was probably 4 foot high. One day I went past and someone had been in there mowing the lot and there was a massive pile of old fucked up newspapers. Figured it was a good time to quit.

I was a paper boy. Me and you seem to have a lot in common

 

[FranksWirecutters]

Dog trainer. Dummies coming in and you give them advice and they don’t follow it then blame you for their dog being a moron. I love dogs but I quickly lost interest in other people’s dogs. What a nightmare.

Funny, I've posted my dogs here and I can see this one. People see my dogs and say they're so well behaved and how their own dogs training never took. Did you reinforce it you faggot? Your dog is a dog and will push their boundaries if you don't push their shit in when then do. Mine know their role in the pack and I just have to look at them to make them remember it. It's not rocket science, they want to work and play and their nature is to follow the one in charge.

They're like smarter niggers is what I'm getting at.

 

[FranksWirecutters]

Funny, I've posted my dogs here and I can see this one. People see my dogs and say they're so well behaved and how their own dogs training never took. Did you reinforce it you faggot? Your dog is a dog and will push their boundaries if you don't push their shit in when then do. Mine know their role in the pack and I just have to look at them to make them remember it. It's not rocket science, they want to work and play and their nature is to follow the one in charge.

They're like smarter niggers is what I'm getting at.

Also I've never had a bad job. The trick is to steal shit.

 

[alkiefuck2]

my first job was retail in a clothes store, but that still beats prepping railings outside along with some literal retard who brags the way antH does
my dad made the trade sound like a fucking buzz and it probably was through the 90s but now it's filled with literal retards and jaded old cunts
quasi made me realise IT's the route to go, few quid and he's teaching me java and kotlin, thank you brother
(btw, love the doner kebab pot noodle)

 

[HH Brother]

my first job was retail in a clothes store, but that still beats prepping railings outside along with some literal retard who brags the way antH does
my dad made the trade sound like a fucking buzz and it probably was through the 90s but now it's filled with literal retards and jaded old cunts
quasi made me realise IT's the route to go, few quid and he's teaching me java and kotlin, thank you brother
(btw, love the doner kebab pot noodle)

Good to see you back, brother.

 

[The Talking Dead]

You win. Literally murdering puppies is hard to beat in the shitty jobs stakes.

Dan Mullen does the same thing to try and coerce people into appearing on his 10-viewer podcast. “Come on my podcast or I kill a puppy” - literal Dan Mullen quote.

Speaking of terrible jobs - it doesn’t get much worse than what his third world shaved ape of a wife does i.e. cleans shit off toilets with her tongue

 

[HH Brother]

Dan Mullen does the same thing to try and coerce people into appearing on his 10-viewer podcast. “Come on my podcast or I kill a puppy” - literal Dan Mullen quote.

Speaking of terrible jobs - it doesn’t get much worse than what his third world shaved ape of a wife does I.e. cleans shit off toilets with her tongue

*50 and don't forget to tune in tomorrow to suck me dry in the comments, shitty alt funster.

 

[The Talking Dead]

*50 and don't forget to tune in tomorrow to suck me dry in the comments, shitty alt funster.

Thanks for letting me know you’re seething, brother.

PS the glory days are never coming back. Die eyebrowless about it, downsy.

 

[The Talking Dead]

Hahahaha no wonder you had to go the third world route, funster.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

I worked for a funeral home, but one of the accounts we had was with a state university medical school. We cremated the cadavers the students worked on after the semester ended and returned the ashes to the families.

First and only day I did it, we drove down to the school in a large box truck. We backed the truck to a dock, grabbed a couple of spare folding tables and brought them up to the room where they were kept.

Cavaders aren't embalmed, but they go through a similar, less-toxic process so they can be worked on without decomposing so fast.

We get to the room and there are about twelve body bags stacked three to four high on more folding tables. I don't know how long these bodies were here, but the bags were covered in a greasy yellowish sheen. The floor was flooded about an inch high with more of this slime. It was like walking through a popcorn butter spill.

Transferring the bodies to the tables led to our clothes getting coated with this melted adipose tissue. We'd grab the slippery body bags from their tables, slide them over to our tables, wheel them downstairs and throw them into the back of the truck like sides of beef.

After getting all the bodies down, wallowing in that room, gripping and tossing body bag after body bag into the truck, my clothes and especially shoes were fucked.

I drove the 90 minutes back mostly naked, leaving my ruined hoodie, pants and shoes in the back of the truck with the bodies.

 

[Treat Yourself]

I did a couple of retail shifts before I quit like an asshole. I was a fat tard and being on my feet all day made them hurt so bad I could barely walk the next day. One of the guys I was working with said he was there for four years already and it bummed me out--I didn't want to end up like him.

Now I have a cushy job in tech. I'm thankful I don't have to do a bullshit job and I respect those that can and do.

 

[Dennyislife]

Landlord. Complaining about trivial shit. The other week someone sent me 3 e mails about neighbours 3 doors down having an extension built

And i used to have to do pot washing as a summer job. But I actually enjoyed that. Stuck some music on and kinda zoned out.

 

[Maybe even kiss you]

Stocking shelves at Wal-Mart for two years while I was in college. It actually didn't hate it that much.

 

[Prince Bvstin]

My first workshop job i was on an old milling machine putting blades on large 2' circular steel disks. They were too big to fit on the shops lathe. There was a handcrank you had to turn to rotate the disk and I had to make around 3 revolutions to finish one half of one disk. The cutter would spit white hot metal directly into the path of the handcrank so you could only perform the cut while getting burned to shit. When the cutter started getting blunt the crank became almost impossible for scrawny 17 old me to turn so it became 4 or more revs of moltern red metal getting spat in my face. On the 2nd day I came in with my head shaved as so much of my hair was burned away and this way the turnings would more likely bounce off than singe and melt into your head. I had one flake of molten metal go into my mouth once and hit the back of my throat, I immediately vomited in response all over the machine.

After that and one more shit job order I started working on CNC machines programming the jobs and the found some old Polak to do the shit jobs nobody wanted. The job was 6.5 days a week, we finished 30 mins early on Friday (Half day Friday) 6am-1700 with one unpaid break and 2 20 minute tea breaks.

Edit: I still preferred this job to being a waiter dealing with peoples petty bullshit.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

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Hahahaha no wonder you had to go the third world route, funster.

 

[Zombie247]

I’ve been having a blast roofing for the past 3 months. Idk if the navy just sucked so bad that everything else is great in comparison, but me and my foreman, who’s the same age as me, just drive around doing jobs and fucking around. Maybe I’ll change my mind when it starts getting hot though

Happy days. I was working with two brothers. A1 Cowboys. Not the Joe Cumia way. They never had the right tools. And what they did have was on its last legs. Including the ladders. Fuck that.

 

[Zombie247]

The other that came to mind was my first job out of college. Labouring for a plumber. I like the grafting. Also learnt a little knowledge. The guy I worked for was an alcoholic, danger. Fucked up jobs constantly. Put me in plenty of danger. Even tried to throw me under the bus for one of his jobs. I got him back for that years later. 17-18 years of age.

 

[Dog Eater]

Worst job without a doubt was working reception at a hotel. I hated it and at 20 I was just bad at being friendly to fuckwits. It wasn’t hard it just sucked for every single second I was there.

 

[EraGodless]

I used to work in education- I had multiple certifications- college degree and could basically teach most subjects (k-12) or atleast wing it and be ahead of the students by a few lessons. I went through a bad breakup after 5 years of dating a girl who I thought I was going to marry-- it was a long drawn out break up and eventually I got so distraught that I quit my job, cashed out my retirement and took a bus out west with designs on just going to Vegas or LA and forgetting about life for awhile.

Somehow, that turned into winding up in Reno and joining a magazine crew. I did door to door sales doing that magazine contest bullshit- it was a 6-7 day a week gig from 9am to sometimes 9 to 10 pm at night. A lot of drugs (mostly weed) and alcohol (I was one of the main providers- supplement my booze money by buying underage kids alcohol). After two weeks of knocking, the main manager started talking to me a bit and we kind of hit it off- he was a wigger that was a dead ringer for Gary Oldman in True Romance. Gold teeth and all. He asked me if I had a valid driver's license and any warrants. I said yes to the license and no to the warrants.

He then hired me as a driver for a couple of crews, because their vans and other vehicles kept getting towed away (driver's usually didn't have valid licenses and or had warrants). So once I was a driver, no more knocking. However, I did miss the part where co-eds would sometimes answer the door only wearing a towel. Anyway, I would just drive around and drop the guys/girls off and then pick them up about an hour later. We would count their sales and once they hit atleast 10 individual sales for the day, they didn't have to knock anymore. They could hang out in the van and get high and drink. I was paid $50 a day plus given room and board. I drank in the van with one of the managers who was always with his crew but never really sold shit unless he needed cash.

There's a lot of crazy stories (including getting trapped in the snow on a mountain in the middle of fucking no where) that happened in those 4 or 5 months. The reason it was the worse job wasn't because of door to door or the transient nature of the job- it was because I was 30 and going on 31. Everyone else except the main manager (wigger guy) were teenagers or very early 20's.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

I've been lucky - done a bunch of things and every job had a big upside. Either good money, getting off early, or doing something creative (never more than one of those together, of course).

I've also had several jobs that involved doing fuck all, which is nice for a while but gets depressing eventually.