What was the worst job you ever had?

[Getoffmylawn2]

Sounds like one of those MLMs. I was tricked into one of those interviews where they promise you a managerial position based on good sales. Usually you're gonna be the faggot standing in a Wal-Mart asking people about their internet service. Walked out on the first day too.

best job was dropshipping shit from AliExpress, if you can stomach ripping people off for no reason.

If you live in a pretty well populated area these are pretty common. I interviewed at one and it was really sketchy. Went home and did some research after only to realize it was an MLM. Shortly after when looking for a job I discovered that there were a couple of these "firms" around. Basically if they have a bunch of open positions and are really vague during the interview, it's most likely an MLM.

 

[TokenX]

Im living that hell as we speak. Not to go all Joe Cumia on you, but the peacetime military can be one of the most godawful experiences if you wind up with the wrong job at the wrong place. I considered jumping in front of a moving car at one point because I knew that the pain from that couldnt possibly be any worse than the pain of doing this shit day in and day out. Shit breaks you, but hey ROCKAS GOTSTA EAT!!!

A guy I knew in college jumped off the Coronado Bridge. It worked. I'm assuming you're in Oceanside or somewheres near there. Anyway. Not a suggestion, but if you're looking for something that works and is awesome, it's an option.

 

[RedHeadpw2]

When I was 15 I worked at a hardware/farm supply store that paid like $5.25/hr. The store smelled, owners treated people like shit, and the shitty florescent lighting reminded me of the opening from Joe vs The Volcano. There were times when I would have to hand load 50 lbs bags of manure off of pallets into pickups for the farmers in the summer heat (never got tipped once). I stuck it out for about a year though because most places around me required you to be 16 to hire.

Edit: I'm just remembering copying keys at this place. The fucking metal shavings from the blank keys would always get under your skin while grinding them down, and you couldn't wear a glove to prevent it either because the glove would likely get caught in the rotar and rip you fingers off. The other guy that worked in that department was some crazy alcoholic who told me "you just have to wait until they pus up and then you can get them out."

You expected farmers to tip you for lifting bags of stuff? The kind of thing they do all the time? Hahaha... What a naive scamp you were.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Being married to a psycho, they say everyone comes with some type of baggage and I knew it going in, she waited for it make it legal to get the moving truck filled to the top with all the rest of it and drop it on my lap

 

[Kim_Jong_Poon]

You expected farmers to tip you for lifting bags of stuff? The kind of thing they do all the time? Hahaha... What a naive scamp you were.

That's fair, but I didnt apply for the job thinking of ever getting tipped. But when I was hired on they said that I could accept tips for loading, which gave me some impression that it could happen. Most of the times they would never even lift a finger to help.

Edit: It wasn't exactly "stuff" either. You would be covered in sweat and literally shit after that. Granted, they're farmers, so I'm not expecting sympathy from them, I'm just trying to detail why the job sucked. It also sucked sometimes when a cute girl you knew from school would stop in and they'd be like (ewww, you work here?) Working at that store was like being in a real-world Napoleon Dynamite

 

[NortheastPhilly]

A guy I knew in college jumped off the Coronado Bridge. It worked. I'm assuming you're in Oceanside or somewheres near there. Anyway. Not a suggestion, but if you're looking for something that works and is awesome, it's an option.

Someone does that like every week here. Covid definitely pumped up those numbahs

 

[GiveItAResto]

One time got tricked into a door to door sales job where told me I would be a marketing manager in the office until the day I started. Quit after 2 hours.

I had a job like that too, selling double glazing.

Turned out I'd get paid per sale. My dad insisted I didn't work there even 1 day.

 

[Brooke Shields]

I once gave a bunch of extra ranch to the drug dealer in my college.

Never bought from him, just knew he was an older guy who dealt and always tipped well. Hope he wanted it cause he didn't even ask i just fawkin threw some in for the brotherman cause our ranch was nice but 50cent a pop WHADDYAKNOW

 

[RobertMewler]

I worked at a small office run by a neurotic psycho bitch. She made almost every one of us cry at one time or another. About a month after I left for a different job a couple of former coworkers went to her boss to report all the crap she put them through. She was fired and a restraining order placed on her so that she couldn't be within 500 feet of the office. I'm sorry I missed all the drama. I'll never have a female boss ever again if I can help it.

 

[Cuphead]

Worked at a movie theater when I was in High School until halfway through my first year at college. Spent all day selling overpriced food to people and cleaning up shit. Somehow got promoted to an assistant manager despite not doing anything. The manager of the place didn't know what was going on most of the time and chasing around his fiance. One time walked into a kids movie to do a theater check and saw somebody blowing another a dude.

 

[TokenX]

I was 18 and my parents were forcing me to get a job. So I found a Craigslist ad for a sales job. Went and there's like 20 middle aged men sitting there in shitty suits and I sit down. Comes in this super energized asshole with a douchey mustache with his big motivational speech. It was like Glengarry Glen Ross but instead of real estate it was vacuums. He wanted us to sell vacuums.

So I get my vacuum and out the door I go. I had no idea what to do. I kinda just went back home, asked my dad if he wanted to buy a vacuum, he said no, then I went in my room and jerked off or something. A few days later I went back with my shitty vacuum and gave it back to the motivational douche. He said "I knew you were half assed." I was like "wow" and left. On my way out I saw that some other guy had already sold like five vacuums and made like $500. Faggot.

Anyway I got really into the movie Fight Club after that and wanted to become a homeless bum.

Not really a job, but more like a funny experience.

 

[DiarrheaDick]

I worked at a place that would board and groom dogs when I was a young buck. Got hook worms as a result. Ever cut a matted tufted of fur from a dog's ass, just for it to projectile shit everywhere from the sheer relief of the pressure release before? Crunch Wrap Supreme's at Taco Bell debuted the Summer I started there. Couldn't go wrong with 2 for 75 cents .

 

[Easily_Remembered]

I sold funeral plots and caskets door to door for about two weeks. Nothing like approaching nice, friendly, happy people in the middle of the day, right after they finished lunch, and asking them about their plans for once they've shed this mortal coil, and whether or not they wish to die a selfish asshole, and leave a financial burden behind for their loved ones.

We had a special presentation set up should someone decide to opt for cremation (which was the most affordable option), which was intended to guilt them by reminding them that their selfish, frugal decision robbed their loved ones of a proper memorial to visit and honor their memory.

Life hack - don't have loved ones.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

I had to do Spuds Buckley on WBAB, it was humiliating

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

I used to have to fuck creepy old men around the Lincoln Tunnel entrance for coke money. Sorry to hear about all you guys bad times in fast food joints though.

 

[Mitch Weaver]

I’d blow punks for $15 a man underneath the Queensboro Bridge.

I still do but I used to too.

 

[guest]

The summer when I was 16 I worked at this garment business basically just carrying shit around. It was owned by an older Jewish guy who I never met and it was the most racially segregated place I've ever seen. The top two floors were the offices - accounts and sales - the accounts people were mostly old Jewish guys and middle-aged white women, the sales team were all younger white guys. Then the next three floors underneath were basically sweat shops. Everyone who worked there were Indian/Pakistani women. I never saw so many Saris in one place. Then there was the basement, which was where I spent my lunchtime with the other lugheads. This was the only place that wasn't segregated. A couple of younger black guys, a couple of white lads, both of their older versions and the supervisor, an old Irish character called "Tam." For six weeks I basically carried boxes up and down the stairs. Boxes of materials up, boxes of papers down (this was the late 90s and this place was barely computerised yet.) It wasn't too bad. Had a laugh with the guys in the basement and it was cash in hand to basically go to the gym, but it was a learning experience. I went back to school that September determined to work hard and, frankly, not have to do a job like that when I was 50.

Just a gentle reminder that Pat carries a great deal more adipose tissue than is advisable for a human.

 

[guest]

Im living that hell as we speak. Not to go all Joe Cumia on you, but the peacetime military can be one of the most godawful experiences if you wind up with the wrong job at the wrong place. I considered jumping in front of a moving car at one point because I knew that the pain from that couldnt possibly be any worse than the pain of doing this shit day in and day out. Shit breaks you, but hey ROCKAS GOTSTA EAT!!!

Why did you join the military and how much time do you have left? Also how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

I'm kinda lucky, I think the shittiest job I ever had was working as a waiter in a high nigger neighborhood. I have no idea why anyone would want to be a waiter or waitress. Unless you work in a super fancy 5 star restaurant, you make less than a Walmart employee makes and do 20x the amount of work AND need to have a smile on your face and a good attitude at all times and have conversations with random people you don't give a shit about.

 

[CuntFucker]

The absolute worst jobs are service jobs, followed by office work which is saturated with women and soy boys

 

[CuntFucker]

Why did you join the military and how much time do you have left? Also how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

I'm kinda lucky, I think the shittiest job I ever had was working as a waiter in a high nigger neighborhood. I have no idea why anyone would want to be a waiter or waitress. Unless you work in a super fancy 5 star restaurant, you make less than a Walmart employee makes and do 20x the amount of work AND need to have a smile on your face and a good attitude at all times and have conversations with random people you don't give a shit about.

Bar work/waiting is suicide fuel