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I was brutally attacked by a Swiss chocolatier in 1988 though.
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The Abe Vigoda Canadian New Year Spectacular Megathread
- Thread starter TheGhostOfAbeVigoda
- Start date
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Well, I don't know what Swiss sounds like, but I'll give them my best Swedish chef impression to annoy them!
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That's why I was attacked. He had a big ladle.
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So a few of my buddies ran a call center years ago. Half my lifetime ago come to think of it. Shit. Anyways they turned one of the rooms into the PS3 room. Huge tv, beer fridge, coupla soft pleather couches to chill on. Me and my buddy are chilling one day in the midafternoon just having a toke and playing MW2. The phone rings and Jesse picks it up.
"No, sorry, nobody here by that name."
We carry on and the phone rings again, same shit; some native guy looking for Leon. This happens a few more times and Jesse's fucking heated. Tells the guy to fuck off and everything then he says he's going to block the number. I tell him to hold on and let me handle it so he hands me the phone. It rings again and I go into my Haida gwai accent.
"Heyyyyy cuz!"
"Hey is Leon there?"
"Leon? He left many moons ago to be with the bear and the eagle in the clearing of the meadow."
"Quit fucking around and put Leon on." (my accent fooled him entirely)
"I told you cuz, he's gone to be with the ancestors. You'll see him when you make the journey down the river with the salmon and the eagle."
He hangs up this time. Calls back in thirty seconds and Bubbles picks up.
"Hello?"
"Is Leon there?"
"No he took my fuckin kitties and said he was gonna eat them! Huffhuffhuff can you help me save my kitties?"
"*rain dance noises*"
We go back and forth for a couple more calls while I change voices and mock him. Finally he threatens to come and kill me.
"I'm going to fucking shoot you. What's your name?"
"Look buddy. You just said you were going to kill me and now you want my name? Not much of a strategist are you? There's no Leon here. There's never been a Leon here. It's a fucking call center and we're trying to get a buzz on here and you're spoiling it. "
" Oh... Okay well... Thanks. "
" Is that it??? We told you that ten times, dude. "
" I guess I didn't believe you. "
Fucking weird guy. Must have been trying to score drugs.
"No, sorry, nobody here by that name."
We carry on and the phone rings again, same shit; some native guy looking for Leon. This happens a few more times and Jesse's fucking heated. Tells the guy to fuck off and everything then he says he's going to block the number. I tell him to hold on and let me handle it so he hands me the phone. It rings again and I go into my Haida gwai accent.
"Heyyyyy cuz!"
"Hey is Leon there?"
"Leon? He left many moons ago to be with the bear and the eagle in the clearing of the meadow."
"Quit fucking around and put Leon on." (my accent fooled him entirely)
"I told you cuz, he's gone to be with the ancestors. You'll see him when you make the journey down the river with the salmon and the eagle."
He hangs up this time. Calls back in thirty seconds and Bubbles picks up.
"Hello?"
"Is Leon there?"
"No he took my fuckin kitties and said he was gonna eat them! Huffhuffhuff can you help me save my kitties?"
"*rain dance noises*"
We go back and forth for a couple more calls while I change voices and mock him. Finally he threatens to come and kill me.
"I'm going to fucking shoot you. What's your name?"
"Look buddy. You just said you were going to kill me and now you want my name? Not much of a strategist are you? There's no Leon here. There's never been a Leon here. It's a fucking call center and we're trying to get a buzz on here and you're spoiling it. "
" Oh... Okay well... Thanks. "
" Is that it??? We told you that ten times, dude. "
" I guess I didn't believe you. "
Fucking weird guy. Must have been trying to score drugs.
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You weren't alive in 1988, puppyster
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Just turned on cnn and Anderson Cooper is already talking about poppers at 8:00.
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Born in 1921, sport.
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Remember before he was shamelessly gay, dry humping that Andy Cohen fag and talking about asshole relaxants on live TV and people would be like "did you know Anderson Cooper was gay?"
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Yeah he used to be respectable. I still have a crush on him though
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This guy’s fuckin’ good
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If you visit Basel Switzerland tell them to keep Israel out this year.
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Guess what bitches. It's almost 4 Am which is lunch time.
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Nice nap, stupid.
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You're stupid and your mother was probably mixed race. Il cut your gay head off next time I see you.
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I’m going to Indian rug burn your fag dead hands and steal your beer.
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God it takes a while to get a fillet o fish from McDonald's.
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Actually pretty fawkin healthy
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I will drink all my beer and take an advil before you get here but only the recommended dosage. You're totally fucked.
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Happy new year Turk. You turry and Abe are Canadian treasures. And fawkin boq
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We actually celebrate our new years in July ever since the committee took over Ontario. It's currently year three and we only have 10 months