Thank you to those who got the bit tonight. Here's the transcript for real

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

With court today and this dropping last night Pat probably will have 20 tweet day today

 

[FatPatsBaps]

Definitely the result of speech therapy, probably administered by expert linguist Mama Raven herself.

She's very cunning, just like her 42 year old man-baby

 

[TomFromNawlins]

It's unbelievable to me how one man can be so cartoonishly buffoonish.

Blundering into court with zero preparation, making the judge wait while you shuffle through your phone, interrupting him and assuring him "thaT did noT occur", trying to do cutesy little jokes about how you're a mature adult man who doesn't close out bars (at least anymore), trying to start shit with Andrew in court and being told to settle down by the judge, and just being viewed as an all round fool by everyone present. Never change, pat.

A courtroom isn’t like Twitter. You have to be prepared to support your claims.

He wanted to say “Your Honor, I’m not doing your homework for you. I’m sorry you’re so cripplingly stupid.”

 

[Harry Powell]

Goddamn. BDA is absolutely up there with Peña, Mel, SpaceEdge, Snyder etc.


soooo many fawkin’ hilarious bits. I particularly liked Patrick trying to explain OnAforums

 

[FatPatsBaps]

Goddamn. BDA is absolutely up there with Peña, Mel, SpaceEdge, Snyder etc.


soooo many fawkin’ hilarious bits. I particularly liked Patrick trying to explain OnAforums

That's the best part. I couldn't imagine trying to describe this place and its origins to a family member, let alone a judge.

 

[Will Tate]

Just finished reading the whole thing. Holy fuck, what an arrogant, obnoxious asshole this fat cunt is to talk to the judge like that, especially when he couldn't be bothered to produce any printouts of the texts. Fucker actually tried to "no, child" the FUCKING JUDGE!!! unbalanced dim-witted cow.

 

[Volkov]

Dan told several of us privately he was going to do the bit and came through like a champ. Nice try with the hate, though.

Look at you little hens with your private chats. You have actually developed real friendships from this forum, that's hilarious. But anyway, he may have told you he was going to withhold the transcript for a few hours, however, I don't believe he planned to lose his temper. That was organic.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

I cant wait to hear the actual audio of pat reading texts off his phone.

 

[Harry Powell]

I’m actually warming up to Volkov now as a new forum heel. Cuntfucker’s bit got old with the asshole pics, Ichise got lost, maybe this is our new guy.

 

[guest]

How embarrassing for Pat. If it were me in Pat's fat shoes, I'd pretty much delete my entire online existence

If I was him I would've done that after the Lappening came to light.

 

[guest]

Look at you little hens with your private chats. You have actually developed real friendships from this forum, that's hilarious. But anyway, he may have told you he was going to withhold the transcript for a few hours, however, I don't believe he planned to lose his temper. That was organic.

Hit the bricks you faggot nigger bitch

 

[Volkov]

I see you bitching and complaining a lot but I'm not recalling anything you have ever done to contribute

No private chats= no Josiah, no hufpo, no barber bit, no worldcon bit and none of the bits that spawned from those.

I'm sure you could have made better bits yourself right

You're right sir, I have never served so I can't have an opinion. I keep my contributions to myself, I can't count the twitters I have gone through and BTW I am not complaining about anybodies contributions just laughing at Dans meltdown, don't take me so seriously.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

I’m actually warming up to Volkov now as a new forum heel. Cuntfucker’s bit got old with the asshole pics, Ichise got lost, maybe this is our new guy.

Got lost...

 

[TheDarkFezRises]

I’m actually warming up to Volkov now as a new forum heel. Cuntfucker’s bit got old with the asshole pics, Ichise got lost, maybe this is our new guy.

I can't believe Benjamin72 has been completely forgotten.

 

[Volkov]

Got lost...

All I've done is laugh at Dans outburst and now I am the enemy? All jokes aside I am surprised at the level of sensitivity from the 'it' clique, they really can't take any criticism, they're more sensitive that the cumias. I'm going back to wackbag.

 

[ChildSpitTake]

I see you bitching and complaining a lot but I'm not recalling anything you have ever done to contribute

No private chats= no Josiah, no hufpo, no barber bit, no worldcon bit and none of the bits that spawned from those.

I'm sure you could have made better bits yourself right

Bad Patposting Stock?

 

[Dani's Thick Legsters]

That's the best part. I couldn't imagine trying to describe this place and its origins to a family member, let alone a judge.

I didn't want to bring up reddit OnAForums

 

[NoBacon]

No sir, I do noT owe 37 Thousand dollars, That is noT someThing That occurred, judge child.

 

[Heyfellas]

All I've done is laugh at Dans outburst and now I am the enemy? All jokes aside I am surprised at the level of sensitivity from the 'it' clique, they really can't take any criticism, they're more sensitive that the cumias. I'm going back to wackbag.

I enjoy all the bits here and the attempts to inconvenience Patrick, but the self importance is pretty funny.

Reddit mod level type stuff.

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

I cant wait to hear the actual audio of pat reading texts off his phone.

We will have audio of him saying "You're a faggot".

The soundboard is more open and ready than Betsy Resto's crusty fish-sock