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SPARE ME: Cumias new book FREE!!!

RoSmokedCrack

I was chest-bumped, alroight!
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21,734
"Keith Maresca and I went to Artie Lange’s apartment in Hoboken to be guests on his own podcast. “You know, why don’t we approach Artie to be the cohost of your show?” Keith suggested. And I was thinking, “I don’t know if I need one.” I mean, things were going smooth at the Compound—Compound Media, the podcast platform I created"

already howling, and that's the first fucking page. fucking hell, he is deluded
So smooth he was forced into selling the "compound" and closing down his business just a few years later. :image_9253:
 
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TorquieTwoBeers

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24,916
"Keith Maresca and I went to Artie Lange’s apartment in Hoboken to be guests on his own podcast. “You know, why don’t we approach Artie to be the cohost of your show?” Keith suggested. And I was thinking, “I don’t know if I need one.” I mean, things were going smooth at the Compound—Compound Media, the podcast platform I created"

already howling, and that's the first fucking page. fucking hell, he is deluded
Man, it's a good thing he explained what Compound Media was. The readers of this absurdly niche biography would never have had any idea what it was if he didn't spell it out like a child writing a book report.
 

Carol's Stink Blaster

Poot poot poot poot
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106,536
Every other sentence in the last paragraph starts with So. Guess it runs in the family. The ghostwriter is a retard too



So, we made him a cohost. But it wasn’t very long before we realized he was still heavily using, and it was affecting his performance on the show. Sometimes he would ask us to book him a hotel room after the show was over. Six o’clock would roll around, and if he was even there until six, he’d go, “I don’t want to go home. I’m just going to stay in town. Could you guys get me a hotel room?” So, we would get him a room in a shitty hotel that was four doors down from our studio. He would go there, and we didn’t know or care about what he was doing there. Four to six—that’s all we gave a shit about. One time Keith went to book the room for him at the hotel, and the front desk person said, “We are not accepting any reservations for Artie Lange anymore.” And Keith asked why. Apparently, the previous time Artie stayed there, he left the room looking like a murder scene. There was blood everywhere, apparently from Artie’s nose. His nose was already deteriorating from drug abuse, and he had gotten punched by his dealer. He just bled everywhere on the bed. So, it was to the point where the hotel knew who he was and would no longer have him on their premises. And this wasn’t the fucking Plaza or the St. Regis; this was a shithole hotel on Thirty-Fifth Street. After nine months, having Artie on the show just got to be too much. And again, for me, I’m there four to six and just do my show, and whatever happens, I don’t really care—if it’s outrageous, or if it’s irresponsible, or if it’s childish, or if it’s Artie leaving. Like I said, if it’s good radio or good content, I don’t give a shit. But Keith was running a business and paying this guy to be there, and a lot of times Artie would ask for advances on his pay and then not show up for the actual work part. And Keith, rightly so, was getting kind of pissed at this. So, he finally came to me and said, “You know, we might have to pull the plug and end this Artie thing.” And I agreed. It was nine months of total insanity. Anyone who has ever tried to deal rationally with an addict knows how crazy that prospect is. You just can’t do it. They will not listen to reason. You can tell them something until you’re blue in the face; they just won’t listen. And their number-one mission is to get the next fucking high. So, to this day I still love Artie and think he’s hilarious, and I root for him—as does everyone. And last I heard, he’s doing very well in rehab, and I wish him all the best. But it was nine of the craziest fucking months I ever spent broadcasting. And that’s really saying something.
 

BenDovid

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-2,581
He calls his McMansion, his Roselyn Estate and talks about separate wings. It was a five bedroom house on less than an acre. It wasn’t Buckingham palace you delusional cunt.

Not only this, but there was tons of space that were either never, or rarely utilized. Nice sized dining room, sitting area. Maybe I seen used once during a party. Office with bathroom. Never used. Rear bedroom, never used. That leaves a living room and kitchen.

Upstairs was his bedroom and then 2 other bedrooms he never used.

Could've had an actual gaming/streaming room. Full flight sim / racing sim setup....arcade, whatever. Instead it was a place for never used furniture to live for 15 years.
 

HipTuckerCumia

hard drive full of CP media
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6,531
The fuck is this. 160 pages. This is even more low effort than his first 'book'.

On Landwho leaving:

Doing it over email just didn't sit right with me either. Why not hang out and talk to me, let me know what's going on? Like, "This is what I'm thinking. This is what I'm going to be pursuing."

...So yeah, I think the way he did it was a lot more insulting than the fact that he left for another show. It was the icing on top of the disloyalty.


This fucking guy fired his entire production staff few weeks ago apparently with zero heads up via .........(drumroll) Gavin McInness!

Didn't even call in on the farewell show.
 

Smeckler's Powder

Sweet powder eases the pain
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16,772
General Broadcasting: The Anthony Cumia Story




For Sue




Table of Contents




Chapter 1: Tunisia 2
Chapter 2: Insulation 11
Chapter 3: Name Changeover 16
Chapter 4: White Lies 22
Chapter 5: Oh Dara 27
Chapter 6: Meeting The Destroyer 35
Chapter 7: Opie and Anthony 43
Chapter 8: WBAB Years 47
Chapter 9: Obscurity part 1 51
Chapter 10: Howard Stern 55
Chapter 11: Sirius Radio 69
Chapter 12: Times Square Photography 76
Chapter 13: Vibrating Eggs 77
Chapter 14: The People's Court 102
Chapter 15: 2U: The Ultimate U2 Experience 108
Chapter 16: Obscurity part 2 111
Chapter 17: Compound Media 113
Chapter 18: Further Obscurity 118
Chapter 19: Rekindling with the Ope-miester 120
Chapter 20: Graduation to Tranthony 130
Chapter 21: r/opieandanthony 155
Chapter 22: Embracing Obscurity 177








Prologue





Growing up in the Tunisian tar mining town of obscurity, Anthony Cumias radio time is noted for his Andrew Dice Gay character and pioneering of the using of the phrase “HAHAHA holy shit!” in the context of sitting next to Patrice O' Neal on many occasions and more often Worm Norton. He was plucked out of working in attics boning insulation by The Destroyer and is Tunisian. To become friends with Sue Lightning right before she put her tits in. Vibrating egg livestream. Broken hand lady. Illegal gun possession? Reddit? Twitter?
 

HR@PaneraBread

Pretty soon we won't even need to come to work
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11,914
It's not difficult to read, we'll give him that much. You can blow through it in minutes.

TLDR: Anthony knew all the CPM powderkegs were about to explode but he doesn't like to get involved in that kinda stuff, only cares about the funny and thinks everyone is just great.

edit - this is why we don't mind you all so much up here, big paragraphs aren't all that scary to us.
 

Jims_Maroon_Pants

Joe's Filipino Supervisor
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62,503
"Keith Maresca and I went to Artie Lange’s apartment in Hoboken to be guests on his own podcast. “You know, why don’t we approach Artie to be the cohost of your show?” Keith suggested. And I was thinking, “I don’t know if I need one.” I mean, things were going smooth at the Compound—Compound Media, the podcast platform I created"

already howling, and that's the first fucking page. fucking hell, he is deluded
Ant you're right, you don't need a co-host. You need a leader, someone who knows when to move on, cut a bit off and do all the uncomfortable behind the scenes stuff for you. Otherwise your shit is unlistenable.
 
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