Rick's Nearly Missing Backyard Grill

[Sue Lightning]

Knocks on door “Hey we saw your grill on Craigslist?”

“Sorry it’s not for sale, that was someone playing a prank.”

“Oh ok, sorry for disturbing you”

And this gets turned into literally TERRORISM.

 

[Sue Lightning]

Oh good lord they multiplied

 

[Cuphead]

You...you stole my grill, child

 

[captain_kamala]

He's gonna start putting stuff outside just for this purpose

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

Let's imagine for a moment that everything Rick has ever said is true. People are SWAT-ing him, trying to get him killed, vandalizing his property, calling in bomb threats, putting his life and his family's life in danger. And these people are trolls who thrive on attention.

Now let's say they tried to prank him so that his property would be essentially stolen. Only it doesn't work. But also no one on earth--not even the troll who pulled the prank--knows that the prank didn't work. Do you:

A) quietly gather evidence and submit it to the authorities. Don't breathe a word about it to anyone other than the police and your ugly wife.

-or-

B) immediately plaster it all over social media, giving the trolls exactly what they want: attention, knowledge that they wasted your time, knowledge that they pissed you off, ideas for future bits.

Pat chooses B) every time. He's 1000% complicit in everything that happens to him. He's also a fat and ugly unemployed bum.

 

[Tagine Enthusiast]

 

[Sue Lightning]

This is that show everyones telling me to watch?

 

[PickleRickle]

Theft under $1000, Rick.

 

[Kinderman]

He's gonna start putting stuff outside just for this purpose

Welp. Someone took our television and tagine out of our backyard.

 

[Tagine Enthusiast]

This is that show everyones telling me to watch?

Idk, perhaps ask Professor Frink, Principal Skinner, Mr Burns, Chief Wiggum, Milhouse, Comic Book Guy, Kodos, Poochie, Agnes Skinner or Groundskeeper Willie?

 

[Sue Lightning]

Idk, perhaps ask Professor Frink, Principal Skinner, Mr Burns, Chief Wiggum, Milhouse, Comic Book Guy, Kodos, Poochie, Agnes Skinner or Groundskeeper Willie?

I need a 6 minute video edit of Simpsons clips with the Black Eyed Peas playing in the background STAT. Maybe add some Pat clips in too? Remember when he said “FUCK OFF!! AND NEVER RETURN!!!!!” That was hilarious. I think you play that then have a clip of Homer confused, like he’s reacting to Pat! Good lord i gotta pull over my rig just thinking about it!

 

[Brooke Shields]

People should just leave that faggot's home alone. It only feeds into his victim narrative.

You realize you're asking Rick to leave his own home alone?

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Boy he is just thirsty for twitter attention. This is what happens when nobody wants to be your friend and you try to feel important by being a blowhard on social media just so someone will talk to you.

 

[SFWA liaison]

Found it https://milwaukee.craigslist.org/app/d/milwaukee-free-bbq-performance-series/7752026132.html

edit: posted FIVE DAYS AGO and just now someone went for it? but the pallet chairs were gone within the hour??

 

[Treat Yourself]

If there even was a potential grillnapper, there's no doubt Tubby Tits made the ad himself with his 1488 email. There's no way he would look up from childing people on X to notice people outside. He posted it then stroked his faucet while he waited for someone to show up. "I'll get those nazi stalkers this time," he said to himself, fatly.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Found it https://milwaukee.craigslist.org/app/d/milwaukee-free-bbq-performance-series/7752026132.html

 

[Imager]

Found it https://milwaukee.craigslist.org/app/d/milwaukee-free-bbq-performance-series/7752026132.html

edit: posted FIVE DAYS AGO and just now someone went for it? but the pallet chairs were gone within the hour??

The half marathon injury part is funny

 

[FranksWirecutters]

Welp it happened. The stalkers posted my lawn on craigslist as sod and people tried to dig it up. 1/100sqft of weeds

 

[DominusOdium]

Found it https://milwaukee.craigslist.org/app/d/milwaukee-free-bbq-performance-series/7752026132.html

View attachment 203617

edit: posted FIVE DAYS AGO and just now someone went for it? but the pallet chairs were gone within the hour??

Interesting. Is that a stock photo or a real photo from his backyard?

 

[DominusOdium]

If there even was a potential grillnapper, there's no doubt Tubby Tits made the ad himself with his 1488 email. There's no way he would look up from childing people on X to notice people outside. He posted it then stroked his faucet while he waited for someone to show up. "I'll get those nazi stalkers this time," he said to himself, fatly.

I guarantee one day his VPN, Gemini wallet and Protonmail account will all be revealed. He's mentioned all of those things as impenetrable cyberterrorist tools he thinks are beyond the reach of law enforcement.