Torque’s Top Tips: Paint Jobs
1. Fun fact: A paint job is not a handjob from a painted hand.
2. Bleach and acetone can be great for cleaning, but this is your car. Have you ever thought of taking it to a car wash? Probably not. I’m sorry you’re stupid.
3. Most people don’t realize this, but leaving your car exposed to the elements year-round is asking for damage. No self-respecting car owner does that unless he’s dead broke and owes some street shitter $38,000. Park your car in a garage or at least under a car port.
4. Car keys aren’t made like they used to be. They’re made far, far more technologically advanced. One problem: You can’t “key” a car with one of these newfangled fobs. So when the security cameras are rolling, shove that penlight in your mouth — and don’t forget to take an old fashioned key when you set out to vandalize your own vehicle.
Thank me later.
1. Fun fact: A paint job is not a handjob from a painted hand.
2. Bleach and acetone can be great for cleaning, but this is your car. Have you ever thought of taking it to a car wash? Probably not. I’m sorry you’re stupid.
3. Most people don’t realize this, but leaving your car exposed to the elements year-round is asking for damage. No self-respecting car owner does that unless he’s dead broke and owes some street shitter $38,000. Park your car in a garage or at least under a car port.
4. Car keys aren’t made like they used to be. They’re made far, far more technologically advanced. One problem: You can’t “key” a car with one of these newfangled fobs. So when the security cameras are rolling, shove that penlight in your mouth — and don’t forget to take an old fashioned key when you set out to vandalize your own vehicle.
Thank me later.
: Creating fake cyber-terror felony crimes on a blog with zero views? Automanic is here to help you with that.
