NoBacon appreciation thread

[goo gobbler]

i used the FMK muppet strategy on a dating app with a bitch who had been sitting in my queue for a while (coulda been a fawking model) AND IT WORKED. she responded all horned up within minutes

i'm leaving the matrix and subscribing to his newsletter

 

[Professor Consent]

Whats that

 

[Professor Consent]

Don't use dating apps unless you just wanna mess with them. Every woman on a dating app is a deranged loser, no exceptions.

 

[Professor Consent]

Proof: they think I'm a "catch"

I'm ugly

And like rape

 

[Phish]

Sounds gay. Noone even knows wtf youre talking about anyways.

 

[goo gobbler]

Whats that

you plainly initiate with who they'd fuck/marry/kill with muppet characters

Don't use dating apps unless you just wanna mess with them. Every woman on a dating app is a deranged loser, no exceptions.

i don't think i'll ever stop using them unless i get married, rapester. every woman i've met on them has been trash but it can't be helped

 

[Professor Consent]

you plainly initiate with who they'd fuck/marry/kill with muppet characters

i don't think i'll ever stop using them unless i get married, rapester. every woman i've met on them has been trash but it can't be helped

I've stopped fucking them. The last chick I actually really liked on there, she told me she had genital herpes so I ended it. That's when I realized holy shit, they're all fucking trash. Even the ones who seem great at first.

She didn't wanna fuck me right away coz she was sick of guys hitting and quitting. We got drunk and she said "you promise you won't leave me?" Which was a huge turn off.

So anyway, after I left her, I asked if we can still be friends. She agreed.

Noticed she was always viewing my Instagram stories, and then I uploaded a pic of me and this hot fawkin blonde "chick" I met in Sweden.

She immediately removed me as a friend after that lolololol.

And then what happened..

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

you plainly initiate with who they'd fuck/marry/kill with muppet characters

These are the questions you should be asking Juden Peterstein.

 

[Phish]

this hot fawkin blonde "chick" I met in Sweden.

Was it really a hot dude?

 

[Professor Consent]

Was it really a hot dude?

I'll never tell..

 

[Phish]

I'll never tell..

Tuck game on point

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

We got drunk and she said "you promise you won't leave me?" Which was a huge turn off.

So anyway, after I left her

 

[Professor Consent]

Tuck game on point

Lol it was a real woman, I licked her asshole when we were showering together. Then after I was like "don't mean to offend you, but you don't have STDs or anything right? Coz you let me do that the day we met" and she told me she was clean.

But I went into that with a stoic attitude... If she said yes she had AIDS, at least it was really hot licking her asshole.

 

[HR@PaneraBread]

Bacon doesn't realize that all these women that he's judging are going to feel the same way about the 5"6 dumpy mantitted catfish they've just reeled in.

 

[Guest]

 

[TorpidSloth]

Sesame Street is sinister once you learn that the puppeteers are all homosexual queers.

 

[Guest]

Sesame Street is sinister once you learn that the puppeteers are all homosexual queers.

Sounds like 99% of all entertainment media then

 

[DMbA]

Bacon is too salty tbchwy, if I never to eat another bacon I would be fine

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

Lizard King bit was legendary

 

[WifeStoreWill]

Lol it was a real woman, I licked her asshole when we were showering together. Then after I was like "don't mean to offend you, but you don't have STDs or anything right? Coz you let me do that the day we met" and she told me she was clean.

But I went into that with a stoic attitude... If she said yes she had AIDS, at least it was really hot licking her asshole.

AIDS is no big deal anymore. There are great big fat black womens shilling AIDS pills during football games.