I'm not texting you right now. These are your delusions.

[guest]

Find me at the bar. Because I'm an alpha male who crushes beers and expensive bourbon because I'm a bad ass. Safe just isn't my speed. What a pathetic fake faggot. Then as soon as he gets in front of a judge he simps like the beta cuck that we all know he is. "I'm embarrassed sir. This isn't how I normally behave." "I don't close down bars anymore because I'm not 25". He's probably there all afternoon and under his pink blankie by 8pm.

Everyone knows at least one guy who you won't see for a couple of years and then you bump into him somewhere. It's 6 p.m. and he says let's grab a beer. You do and the conversation and jokes flow easily. Nothing deep is discussed; you stick to sports, politics lite, movies, general bullshit. You finish a couple of rounds and go your separate ways. You might see each other again next week, in a couple of months or in another few years but the result will be the same. A laid back, relaxed, fun 90 minute hang that requires little to no effort.

Patrick is the polar opposite to that guy. You would do anything to avoid having a drink with him and if you did somehow find yourself in that scenario, you'd be out of there as soon as possible. Just a weird, unmanly, conceited bore.

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

God dammit that's a good one. I can just feel his frustration with those two words alone.

 

[fricklefrackle]

God dammit that's a good one. I can just feel his frustration with those two words alone.

Another classic:

 

[guest]

Everyone knows at least one guy who you won't see for a couple of years and then you bump into him somewhere. It's 6 p.m. and he says let's grab a beer. You do and the conversation and jokes flow easily. Nothing deep is discussed; you stick to sports, politics lite, movies, general bullshit. You finish a couple of rounds and go your separate ways. You might see each other again next week, in a couple of months or in another few years but the result will be the same. A laid back, relaxed, fun 90 minute hang that requires little to no effort.

I moved far away from my home town and I don't get back often so when i do, I make it a point to meet up with a couple old friends every time and this is exactly how it goes. You update each other on what's been going on, families, basic "did you hear what happened to <x> or did you know <y> died?", some jokes and banter and shit, maybe checking out a hot waitress or something.

Rick would be a combination of boring and infuriating. He has nothing going on in his life so he's boring in that regard. All he has is Twitter (Boring) and politics (infuriating).

 

[Imager]

Rick would be a combination of boring and infuriating. He has nothing going on in his life so he's boring in that regard. All he has is Twitter (Boring) and politics (infuriating).

I think it would be fascinating. He would be getting texts all through the conversation and eventually you'd ask, "Who keeps texting you?" And then he would talk about his atalkers. And eventually you'd realize this was his entire life.

Seriously think about someone who knew Patrick from say, high school or his 1 semester in community college, and runs into him and grabs a quick beer at Hoolie's. You know Patrick wouldn't ask you about what's going on in your life. It would be all about him and you'd remember he has even less self-awareness now.