Crowd sourcing material for Bobo

[JonHeDoesIt]

Drafting my DM for Bobo:

Hey Bubs, I saw your appearance on TACS, good stuff! It occurred to me that 15 minutes is a lot for someone just starting up so I wanted to lend you some bits to get going next month!

I know you do some edgy stuff so I tried to keep that in mind while writing this up.

1. Do you guys know why so many blacks got killed in Vietnam? Because when the Sergeant said "get down!" they all got up and started break dancing!

2. My sister tried to tell me I had a little peckah and she's never gonna bone me! Jokes on her, I've already boned her lots of times while she was asleep! At least it's not as little as Anthony Cumia's pointer finger!

3. You're probably wondering how I got this gig! They said they needed the one guy who's slower than Mark Normand!

4. A black guy stuck me up for my wallet on the way here! I told him I'd trade him for the bone in his nose! I'm just kidding, I'm softer than Geno Bisconte's jaw!

Also, I think you'd do well with a catchphrase. I really like when you say "Be respectful!" I think it would go over well if you shouted that at the audience whenever they're laughing at your punch lines. You know, like "Git R Done!"

So you're just abandoning any semblance of Joe Matarese?

 

[The Fuchitive]

So is the consensus to just let him drown on stage if he makes it that far then?

 

[The Fuchitive]

So you're just abandoning any semblance of Joe Matarese?

The only semblance of Joe Matarese I had in this bit was saying "Hey Bobo I'm Joe Matarese"

 

[NoBacon]

So is the consensus to just let him drown on stage if he makes it that far then?

That’s my intuition for the funniest outcome, and that it’s playing with fire to push it much more - but like I said, you got it that far already so will back whatever your gut says.

I only got caught up today and it’s made ne laugh for hours, plugging it and everything. Vurry good.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

These are the worst ones I know that Bobo might be able to memorize:
How do you get a fag to fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt.
Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas? So they have something to unwrap.
Did you hear about the lookalike contest in China? Everybody won.
So I'm eating this lady's pussy, and all of a sudden I taste horse cum. I says "Jesus, Grandma! So that's how you died."

 

[JesseTheGovernor]

I saw a restaurant that had all caaaaaaooooowwww decor. Even the waitress was a heifer!

Be respectful, awlroight.

Hello sir, yeah you in the front row. What do you call a caaaow with no legs?

*crickets*

Ground beef, awlroight.

What do you call a caaaooww with three legs?

*crickets*

Lean beef, awlroight sir! Try to keep up.

Here’s a doozy for ya. What do you call a caaaoow with one leg?

*crickets*

Steak.

And what so you call a caaaaaow with two legs?

(Before the guy says anything) …your mom, awroight! She’s a fat caaaow.

Be respectful, people!

 

[Will Tate]

He should do a bit about having Joe's guitars on his wall at home.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

Drafting my DM for Bobo:

Hey Bubs, I saw your appearance on TACS, good stuff! It occurred to me that 15 minutes is a lot for someone just starting up so I wanted to lend you some bits to get going next month!

I know you do some edgy stuff so I tried to keep that in mind while writing this up.

1. Do you guys know why so many blacks got killed in Vietnam? Because when the Sergeant said "get down!" they all got up and started break dancing!

2. My sister tried to tell me I had a little peckah and she's never gonna bone me! Jokes on her, I've already boned her lots of times while she was asleep! At least it's not as little as Anthony Cumia's pointer finger!

3. You're probably wondering how I got this gig! They said they needed the one guy who's slower than Mark Normand!

4. A black guy stuck me up for my wallet on the way here! I told him I'd trade him for the bone in his nose! I'm just kidding, I'm softer than Geno Bisconte's jaw!

Also, I think you'd do well with a catchphrase. I really like when you say "Be respectful!" I think it would go over well if you shouted that at the audience whenever they're laughing at your punch lines. You know, like "Git R Done!"

If you do that the bits over. I know he’s retarded but he’s not that retarded. Dan tried to get him to talk about his sister and Bobo shut him down. Then Dan proceeded to interview him like he was Gorbachev. You should definitely include the catchphrase bit though.

 

[Cuphead]

Have him do Anthony’s set from the Big Jay Roast.

View attachment 61467

"Lotta white people uhhhh.....Lotta white people here today"

 

[Gay Faggot.]

My memory is murky about all that shit, didn’t Danny say it was a girl called Ghiselle or something that Ant bragged about fingering?

So the story behind ant trying to bang Bobo’s sister has never been really confirmed. However, there’s lots of evidence. Kurt Love ingratiated himself into the show. There was a bit when Bobo “died” that he was his lover. JoeH, Bobo, and Kurt, made a video “proving” Bobo was still alive. Anthony had made multiple comments about wanting to fuck Bobos sister on the air. When she was 13-14. Kurt had gone to multiple compound parties and hung out with AntH. Fast forward to the “unfortunate mishap” and bobo’s mom, Aurora, is asked by Quim Snoreton where Bobo’s sister is. Aurora says she doesn’t like Anthony or any of that crap. Another indicator that something happened since the whole Kurlan family is involved, except for her. I’m sure a bigger autist remembers more but that’s the gist of it.

 

[NoBacon]

So the story behind ant trying to bang Bobo’s sister has never been really confirmed. However, there’s lots of evidence. Kurt Love ingratiated himself into the show. There was a bit when Bobo “died” that he was his lover. JoeH, Bobo, and Kurt, made a video “proving” Bobo was still alive. Anthony had made multiple comments about wanting to fuck Bobos sister on the air. When she was 13-14. Kurt had gone to multiple compound parties and hung out with AntH. Fast forward to the “unfortunate mishap” and bobo’s mom, Aurora, is asked by Quim Snoreton where Bobo’s sister is. Aurora says she doesn’t like Anthony or any of that crap. Another indicator that something happened since the whole Kurlan family is involved, except for her. I’m sure a bigger autist remembers more but that’s the gist of it.

I remember it was clear Anth was funding her world trip

 

[Gay Faggot.]

I remember it was clear Anth was funding her world trip

Something that’s not been “confirmed” but, once again, more than likely. The Kurlan’s had to do a gofundme to help pay for Aurora’s medical bills. There’s no way they could afford the trip she went on. Maybe it was through college, but, I don’t think she is particularly smart enough to get enough scholarships to afford that. If I’m not mistaken she’s a nurse or something? Aurora is a nurse so it would make sense.

 

[Stetten's Long Thumbers]

Guys I think we just shoehorned Bobo into opening for Mark Normand

One of you jersey fags need to go

 

[JebJoh]

So is the consensus to just let him drown on stage if he makes it that far then?

I want him to get a Netflix deal out of this. 20 million for 4 specials.

 

[Will Tate]

I want him to get a Netflix deal out of this. 20 million for 4 specials.

Netflix presents It's Bobo Time!

 

[Stent]

I always appreciated his "one dollar one dollar one dollar" routine being mindlessly repeated.

 

[JebJoh]

I always appreciated his "one dollar one dollar one dollar" routine being mindlessly repeated.

And then after that I want everyone you know and everyone you work with to repeat that to you for the next 3 years and laugh about it every time. Like Austin Powers

 

[Consensual Rapist]

My memory is murky about all that shit, didn’t Danny say it was a girl called Ghiselle or something that Ant bragged about fingering?

Probably someone else.
It’s the reason Bobo will block you on twitter. I brought it up, and now I can’t see tweets about the Mets…..
*sniff*

 

[Consensual Rapist]

Drafting my DM for Bobo:

Hey Bubs, I saw your appearance on TACS, good stuff! It occurred to me that 15 minutes is a lot for someone just starting up so I wanted to lend you some bits to get going next month!

I know you do some edgy stuff so I tried to keep that in mind while writing this up.

1. Do you guys know why so many blacks got killed in Vietnam? Because when the Sergeant said "get down!" they all got up and started break dancing!

2. My sister tried to tell me I had a little peckah and she's never gonna bone me! Jokes on her, I've already boned her lots of times while she was asleep! At least it's not as little as Anthony Cumia's pointer finger!

3. You're probably wondering how I got this gig! They said they needed the one guy who's slower than Mark Normand!

4. A black guy stuck me up for my wallet on the way here! I told him I'd trade him for the bone in his nose! I'm just kidding, I'm softer than Geno Bisconte's jaw!

Also, I think you'd do well with a catchphrase. I really like when you say "Be respectful!" I think it would go over well if you shouted that at the audience whenever they're laughing at your punch lines. You know, like "Git R Done!"

This is hilarious, but since he has Stockholm syndrome with Tranthony, he won’t say anything bad about him.

 

[JebJoh]

This is hilarious, but since he has Stockholm syndrome with Tranthony, he won’t say anything bad about him.

My sister got to go to Europe for 6 months while I'm stuck in Queens with my mom .... Maybe I SHOULD let cumia rape me.