You’ve got 1 hour in an empty bar with Joseph Cumia

[Torque’sHeadBump]

What do you do?

Here’s the scenario: you’re driving home and see a dilapidated moose lodge and figure ‘what the hell? It’s Friday afternoon and I had a hard week at work. I can have a pop or two in silence before I go home to the wife and kids.’

Parking lot has about 3 cars, so you know it’s gonna be a quiet one and you can decompress from the week. As you sip your beer, maybe watch some sporting event / highlights and have a friendly chat with the matronly bartender, in strides the Cow.

He’s laying it on thick with the regulars and trying to be friendly. Airborne gear, gloves, looper, etc.

As he walks up to the bar he notices you and says “Hi, uh, how’s it goin? You here for the show??” He has no idea you’re a brotherman. This is your time to shine. What do you do?

 

[Hello Oneal!]

Ask him to play this:

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I hasten to add: no violence, gang. We’re better than that and nobody wants to beat a bow-legged old queen to the ground

 

[UnPRePared]

I ask him if he's ever played in Europe and make him an offer that changes his life: being part of my band.


Then I leave him in a German hostel that's filled with immigrants the country has taken in before the first show.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Ask him where the guy who is playing White Hendrix is.

 

[UnPRePared]

Ask him where the guy who is playing White Hendrix is.

I'd rather ask him the last time he's heard from Blue Oyster Cult.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I'd rather ask him the last time he's heard from Blue Oyster Cult.

I wish I saved the time stamp but I was working and it slipped my mind. Him & Anth claimed that a big reason he didn’t make the band was because Joe was way taller than the rest of them.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I wish I saved the time stamp but I was working and it slipped my mind. Him & Anth claimed that a big reason he didn’t make the band was because Joe was way taller than the rest of them.

Oh my god

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I wish I saved the time stamp but I was working and it slipped my mind. Him & Anth claimed that a big reason he didn’t make the band was because Joe was way taller than the rest of them.

was this on O&A?

 

[Jesse Ventura]

Ask him for some stories about his military deployments and let him bury himself in stuttering, meandering lies.

“Uh uh uh I was ahhhhh….stationed in Nicaragua when the uh uh…Sandi….uhhh…I jumped out of a ummmm….”

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Ask him for some stories about his military deployments and let him bury himself in stuttering, meandering lies.

“Uh uh uh I was ahhhhh….stationed in Nicaragua when the uh uh…Sandi….uhhh…I jumped out of a ummmm….”

Vurry good. But I bet Joseph is so fucking delusional and arrogant that he has his answer down to a T. He’d act like he was was jumping out of planes over northern France in 44.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

was this on O&A?

Yeah

 

[Stetten's Long Thumbers]

"beat it nigger"

 

[Sue Lightning]

Besides Opie I could sit down and have a beer with Joe without trashing him. It would be like sitting down with a sentient bovine. If you got the chance to talk to a cow wouldn’t you ask it what it thinks, why it thinks certain things, etc? It’d be a fun experiment.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Besides Opie I could sit down and have a beer with Joe without trashing him. It would be like sitting down with a sentient bovine. If you got the chance to talk to a cow wouldn’t you ask it what it thinks, why it thinks certain things, etc? It’d be a fun experiment.

 

[KaNAMBLA Harris]

I hasten to add: no violence, gang. We’re better than that and nobody wants to beat a bow-legged old queen to the ground

And no profanity!

 

[KaNAMBLA Harris]

was this on O&A?

It was one of the episodes Bennington was in the studio. They were shooting the shit about what songs would get played on the old HOME OF ROCK AN ROLL stations and Ant brought up how his brother is seriously good friends with Blue Oyster Cult for reals guys

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

It was one of the episodes Bennington was in the studio. They were shooting the shit about what songs would get played on the old HOME OF ROCK AN ROLL stations and Ant brought up how his brother is seriously good friends with Blue Oyster Cult for reals guys

Joseph was probably listening to that broadcast with tears in his cow eyes

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Joe sits down at the bar 3 seats away from me. Im slightly turned away, cap pulled down partially obscuring my face as I stir the ice in my rum and coke.

I break the silence…
“Well…ya gonna suck our cocks or whistle dixie?”

The bartenders gaze flashes towards us from across the bar. His eyes dart back and forth between us, looking incredibly on edge.

Joe orders a doubleshot of Jameson and promptly puts it down.
“Must be behind the times around here. I dont do that anymore. Havent in years. Im in town to play music.”

I chuckle condescendingly. “I saw what you used to do. Been on the receiving end of it. I FELT it. Listen, I’ve been around the block. Seen many a cocksucker come through here and I’ll tell ya this. Guy as deep in the business as you were….DONT just quit. They try, but they always come back”

Joe sighs, pushes his empty shot glass away from him in defeat. “Fine I’ll suck your cock, jeez”

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Joe sighs, pushes his empty shot glass away from him in defeat. “Fine I’ll suck your cock, jeez”