You ever feel like you're speaking some fucking alien language?

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I love my mother but I hate interacting with her like 60% of the time. I'll ask her a question and she'll give me an answer to a question I didn't ask. It makes me feel fucking crazy. Or she'll initiate a conversation and cut me off every time I speak. She thinks she knows what I'm going to say and gets it wrong consistently. She's kind of a fucking asshole.

 

[HH Brother]

You know what you need to do, Abester.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Women only have kids so that they have somebody to tell boring stories to.

 

[Billy Hollywood]

 

[guest]

The only reason I ever called my mother in the last 5 years (she's in a nursing home) is to describe the last black slut I just fucked and to worry about whether she got knocked up or not. She'd think I have 4 black bastards at this point if she could even remember where she was. Evil old cunt.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

It's called ADD and it's inherent in women and faggots

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

AND ANOTHER THING! I fucking HATE how Americans say the names of Canadian cities. Maaaawwwwntreal. TowronTo.

Montreal = Mun chree all

Toronto = Ter ron o

Nice extreme enunciation, stupid.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

It's called ADD and it's inherent in women and faggots

I'd be terrified of her having early dementia if she hadn't been doing this shit my whole life. She also takes ridiculously long pauses mid-sentence or just trails off all together. I lose patience with that retard shit all the time and I realize it makes me a disrespectful bastard but it's fucking annoying. My common responses to it are "are you going to finish that fucking sentence?", "come on, spit it out", or I'll just hang up on her or walk away if I'm waiting literally like 15 seconds for the next word. Then she gets pissed off at me. Just fucking speak if you're going to speak for fuck's sake.

 

[The Talking Dead]

I find that at least 50% of people are infuriating to interact with these days.

 

[ChimpanZ]

The only reason I ever called my mother in the last 5 years (she's in a nursing home) is to describe the last black slut I just fucked and to worry about whether she got knocked up or not. She'd think I have 4 black bastards at this point if she could even remember where she was. Evil old cunt.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

She thinks she knows what I'm going to say and gets it wrong consistently. She's kind of a fucking asshole.

My old dear does that and it drives me up the fucking wall.

I have to do everything related to computers for her. So, I'll set her up a new Yahoo email and it'll be like:

"So, tell me the new password, dear. I'll write it down in my Moleskin notepad with this fountain pen"
Ok, It's capital Y. a....
"Ok, so a big Y, then a. Then h. o. o.?
No.
"What?"
No. It's just Y, then a.
"Y then a?"
Yes.
"Then the rest of the word 'yahoo'?"
No!
"Why not? Is this a Gmail? I wanted a Yahoo."

I've never sworn at her though, or raised my voice. I'm kind of a wop when it comes to things like that. When it's deathbed time it'll just be me and her so I want to keep things cordial.

 

[Ladynyahh]

I'm an older gentleman who speaks proper English. What's the deal with all these white zoomer kids talking like they grew up in the hood? I think my feelings could be best summarized by this clip. Erock pull up Gran Torino

Want to be Super Spade or something? These guys don't want to be your bro...

Gran Torino (2008) clip with quote Want to be Super Spade or something? These guys don't want to be your bro... Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Easily move forward or backward to get to the...

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[ミスタースパーコル]

I find that at least 50% of people are infuriating to interact with these days.

Perhaps more than that.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

Or she'll initiate a conversation and cut me off every time I speak

I give my mother a slight pass 'cus she's actually mental... but she'll interrupt me without a second thought, but if she's saying something (which is always ridiculously long-winded), & I try to jump-in like a normal conversation, she'll tell me not to interrupt... in the end I just give-up, I'd love to get a chess clock & demonstrate her waffling-on & making me listen compared to my concise statements. The word-count is 100-1.
Something strange happens as well; I get high blood pressure tinnitus in my ears when she talks, as if they're tying to physically close so I don't need to hear the bullshit. I have normal blood pressure (pretty good numbers actually), so it really just is a peculiarity of 'listening' to my mother.+
Ooof!

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

The interaction that inspired this post:

Mama Vigoda: "I'm doing a free show in Faggotville."

ME: "At the hall or the theater?"

MV: "Faggotville."

ME: "Yeah... Faggotville Hall or Faggotville Theater?"

MV: "Faggotville. By the ball diamond. Faggotville, where _____ lives."

ME: "I know where fucking Faggotville is for f- never mind. I can't make it."

Faggotville is where my best friend lives. I'm there all the time and I know it very well. So does she. It's tiny and there are only two venues that she absolutely knows the names of. The one by the baseball diamond is Faggotville Hall. She's playing Faggotville Hall. Instead of just saying that, she made me feel insane and her tone was like I'm the idiot and forgot where this village is that she knows I'm in all the time that is 10 minutes away. I don't know how the fuck we're so bad at communicating. The sad part is she only seems to have this problem with me. It's like she's fucking with me for her own amusement. Which is totally something I'd do, so a lot of the time I think that is the case.

 

[guest]

Toronto = Ter ron o

It's actually "Terr ee no" due to some unfortunate allegations about me and some whooah on Bloor st.

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

I miss my mom.



Nice dead mom, stupid.

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

Your mom kind of sounds like she sucks Abe so maybe you won't be sad when she dies. My mom unfortunately ruled and all I have to show for it are these stupid cherished memories.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I miss my mom.



Nice dead mom, stupid.

Goddammit now I feel bad. Thanks a lot, Ruth's dead mom. I am gonna go to Faggotville Hall tonight and I'm gonna bring her flowers. Fuck.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Your mom kind of sounds like she sucks Abe so maybe you won't be sad when she dies. My mom unfortunately ruled and all I have to show for it are these stupid cherished memories.

She does suck but I love her immensely and her death is going to crush me. Despite us not really getting along all that great, we are somehow close. I'm an only child and I don't plan on having kids so I've already pretty much made up my mind that when both of my parents die I'm gonna blow my head off.