Worst movies you've ever seen thread

[PogromStallone]

This film starts with a gang of black kids who rob a white woman at knifepoint and you think that the aliens will come and hang them all from trees before the real plot starts but instead the whole fucking movie is about them saving the world whilst complaining about not having any weed (they are all on the poster so we probably should have known better). They end up meeting the woman they robbed (whilst on the run from aliens) and explain to her that the reason they robbed her is because that's just what they do.

Everyone involved with this movie should get the wall

Edit - and they're all English, you can't understand a word any of them say

Edit 2 - and that fucking Star Wars prick that complains that he never gets any roles bc he's black.

Edit 3 - Seriously, this is why Movie Mondays at the office has been such a point of contention recently. This and that stupid fucking Boondocks Saints movie we could only get through 40 minutes of. We know you're Irish because you're poor and constantly drunk. Could you at least talk properly

This movie is pretty great. If you have trouble understanding English accents, you're probably retarded.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Biggest disappointment of all time





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You mean you didn't like The Many Spades of Newark

 

[guest]

This movie is pretty great. If you have trouble understanding English accents, you're probably retarded.

Not really "English" accents, fam, ya get me but I take your point

 

[Chapel]

Fuckin nauseating.. the hair, the giant ears, the flat shapeless body. Standing next to Eliza Dushku and that chick from American pie.. two of the arguably hottest chicks from the early 2000s. Kevin Smith really should kill himself and there are always a lot of embarrassing ballwashers on da forms defending his gay movies too

I wouldn’t ride that whilst there was still dogs roaming the streets freely. Her parents are cousins or something?

 

[Dog Eater]

I wouldn’t ride that whilst there was still dogs roaming the streets freely. Her parents are cousins or something?

When they had the close ups of her in Clerks 2 I seriously thought it was a gag and was waiting for the joke. Like there must be a reason to cast someone that hideous right? Then I looked it up afterwards and was like ohhhh.

 

[Toast]

Truley hated this movie. SpOiLeR! ------ Everyone dies but the retard, cause that makes for a great story apparently.

 

[Petworth dude]

Kazaam (1996). Truly awful. Shaq can’t act, the plot is senseless, the kid who starred in it looks like a cholo homo nowadays. The magical parts werent magical, the gangsters were faggots. Just awful.

You clearly haven't seen this masterpiece

 

[satanssockpuppet]

This in particular pissed me off. It was like no one involved had even watched the show, let alone worked on it. Remember in Cold Cuts when Chris starts whining to Ade how the two Tonys used to tease him as teenagers when he was a boy a few years younger than them? Then that shitty movie comes out and a teenage Tony is cradling a newborn Christopher in his arms? That's not even lazy writing. I don't know what you call that.

The Junior stuff was just so embarrassing. He was a major character on the show, with a whole history, and in that movie he was a retarded klutz yelling "sister's cunt" like a cut rate Nana. Pure cringe. Ditto that Bernthal guy as Johnny Boy Soprano. Just awful.

 

[HR@PaneraBread]

This movie is pretty great. If you have trouble understanding English accents, you're probably retarded.

OK so recounting how badly this movie went down up here really angered the individual who typed that diatribe out. They're still wound up over it. We're often on board with some of your more contrarian takes (BCC was not as bad as everyone says etc) but in this case no apology is forthcoming. This movie is an abomination.

The English accent thing was a mild jab, we could understand them if they spoke like John Gielgud or even the actors in Peaky Blinders but these kids are insufferable and talk like they haven't learned to read.

It's not even a race thing either. We're all about the diversity, inclusivity, the whole 9. We have to be, we're HR after all. Moreover the kids in this movie are basically a skin chart if you stand them side by side. It's annoying to spend your life telling people that everyone is equal and have to sit through a movie where the protagonists are knife wielding submonkeys from a concrete jungle. If these are people you look up to then maybe you're the retard. Just a thought.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Thomas Jane double feature. Just terrible.

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Lol I'm surprised Thomas Jane and Aaron Eckhart have been in the same movie together. They're completely interchangeable to me. It'd confuse me.

 

[bantadant]

Fuckin nauseating.. the hair, the giant ears, the flat shapeless body. Standing next to Eliza Dushku and that chick from American pie.. two of the arguably hottest chicks from the early 2000s. Kevin Smith really should kill himself and there are always a lot of embarrassing ballwashers on da forms defending his gay movies too

She looks like Nikki

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Thomas Jane double feature. Just terrible.

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Just reading the synopsis of this made me wish everyone involved was dead in real life. Holy shit what a pile of garbage. All the main characters are whiny faggots who want to go through with some suicide pact they probably made while sucking each others dicks in college. They are reasonably successful but UnFuLlFiLled (I don't even have to look to know a boomer wrote this). I wish they had decided to kill themselves and then instead there was a home invasion and the rest of the movie was them getting raped by niggers then shot in the assholes with AIDs tipped bullets.

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Unpopular Opinion: I'm glad Bobby Kennedy was assassinated and not ENOUGH Kennedys were shot in the head.

I had to see it to believe it, Cosby couldn’t blame anyone for it because it was all his idea. I like that he at least told people it was awful and bought the rights so wouldn’t be seen on tv. He was one of the biggest TV stars but couldn’t get it to work in movies (remember Ghost dad?) but it’s a movie to be seen for how awful it is. Also for the montage to the Peabo Bryson song “Positive”

that might Still be the worst career decision Cosby ever made

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Not the worst but still. Most memorable moment was Neil Maskell saying: "Woild Bill? More loike Moild Bill."

I dunno, it was worth watching just for the scene where the drug dealer is threatening his son and he goes to the pub and fucks everyone up.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Boys! I forgot one! Holy SHIT
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Someone here posted a podcast making fun of this that was great. whoever it was please repost? I couldn't find it again. Edit: someone did already. "Hey what's this retarded nigger doing here!"

Radio was just one of a bunch of movies made from the mid 90s to mid 2000s that were saccharine piles of dogshit, Starting with Forrest Gump (aka Magical Retard). Like Remember the Titans, which everyone from Alexandria hates. The way only racial divides that Herman Boone helped heal was by being such a Fucking Dick whites and blacks both hated him

 

[LingerLonger]

Truley hated this movie. SpOiLeR! ------ Everyone dies but the retard, cause that makes for a great story apparently.

It's like the final girl in horror movies. But final retard instead.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

It's like the final girl in horror movies. But final retard instead.

That's also what the final girl is.

 

[HotDogJoe]

Truley hated this movie. SpOiLeR! ------ Everyone dies but the retard, cause that makes for a great story apparently.

I can't help but enjoy that movie even though it's low budget schlock with mostly incredibly annoying characters. There's just something hilarious about the dynamic between the characters. You've got off-brand Dwayne Johnson intimidating them all and then the retard gets thrown into the mix just to push everyone over the edge in an already stressful situation.

 

[LingerLonger]

"You know that innovative sci fi action movie everybody loves? Yeah, I hate that"

The green screen crash looks like it was made for $20. Avatar was innovative tech wise. Aliens was just Terminator 2 in a different setting.

 

[TehSamurai]

This was on in the background, but from what I saw, I thought that it was a joke. Somebody actually wrote this shit? Or was is it all just improv from Ryan Reynolds?

The last Matrix movie was hilariously bad, too. Neil Patrick Harris explaining bullet time has to be one of the dumbest scenes ever in a blockbuster movie.

 

[LingerLonger]

This was on in the background, but from what I saw, I thought that it was a joke. Somebody actually wrote this shit? Or was is it all just improv from Ryan Reynolds?

$10million to the writer. $190million for the movie budget. Probably another $100million in marketing.

 

[EraGodless]

This in particular pissed me off. It was like no one involved had even watched the show, let alone worked on it. Remember in Cold Cuts when Chris starts whining to Ade how the two Tonys used to tease him as teenagers when he was a boy a few years younger than them? Then that shitty movie comes out and a teenage Tony is cradling a newborn Christopher in his arms? That's not even lazy writing. I don't know what you call that.

Timeline got fucked up.