When did Halloween become an excuse for more gibs?

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I live in a gated condo so I've never got to experience being a candy hander-outer, but I always wanted to throw some cheap toys in with the candy. Something you can get on Temu, 150 shitty little plastic whatevers for $8. These black kids coming in from the city probably don't get a lot of new toys so some stupid dinosaur or pokemon would brighten their evening.

I don't know how much my grandparents would spend on Halloween every year but because they did it big they were always a destination house in a destination neighborhood and my Nan would do up little bags with a bunch of different kinds of candy and a little bullshit toy and my Pop would do magic tricks. Their old neighbor still lives in the same spot and she still does a shitload of candy apples every year. She posted on the town Facebook to remember to stop by for one and a bunch of newfags were like "um, homemade candy apples? No thanks. How do we know the sweet old lady isn't putting rape in them?" and real ass niggaz had to be like "this woman is a saint and has been doing this since the 90s."

 

[Cartoon Redux]

I don't know how much my grandparents would spend on Halloween every year but because they did it big they were always a destination house in a destination neighborhood and my Nan would do up little bags with a bunch of different kinds of candy and a little bullshit toy and my Pop would do magic tricks. Their old neighbor still lives in the same spot and she still does a shitload of candy apples every year. She posted on the town Facebook to remember to stop by for one and a bunch of newfags were like "um, homemade candy apples? No thanks. How do we know the sweet old lady isn't putting rape in them?" and real ass niggaz had to be like "this woman is a saint and has been doing this since the 90s."

Boomer parents suck but Gen X parents might have them beat in the faggot competition

 

[Rick Roblinson]

I remember as a kid I lived next door to this old lady, picture Judge Judy, who was a fawkin bitch 364 days a year except for on Halloween when she was super nice and gave out huge candy bars.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

One time when my mom was driving us around trick or treating, we stopped at the place next to the farm she grew up on and the old lady was giving out cookies she was baking. They were making a big deal in school that year about never eating any candy that wasn't in packaging so I politely declined the cookie. She was kind of like "what the fuck, really?" My buddy had one and she wanted him to take a bite in front of her. When we got back to the car I told my mom I didn't take the cookie like "I did good, right?" And she was like "That probably crushed her. She's basically family. Her whole thing is she makes these awesome cookies all day and night on Halloween." My buddy was like "Yeah it was still warm. You missed out."

 

[Cartoon Redux]

One time when my mom was driving us around trick or treating, we stopped at the place next to the farm she grew up on and the old lady was giving out cookies she was baking. They were making a big deal in school that year about never eating any candy that wasn't in packaging so I politely declined the cookie. She was kind of like "what the fuck, really?" My buddy had one and she wanted him to take a bite in front of her. When we got back to the car I told my mom I didn't take the cookie like "I did good, right?" And she was like "That probably crushed her. She's basically family. Her whole thing is she makes these awesome cookies all day and night on Halloween." My buddy was like "Yeah it was still warm. You missed out."

The whole "poison/razor blades in candy" panic bullshit was all because one retarded asshole tried to kill his own kids

 

[whyarewedoingthisagain_mybb]

Have a separate nigger bowl with only candy corn and travel toothpastes.

Toothpaste is expensive, are you trying to get robbed?

 

[whyarewedoingthisagain_mybb]

I don't know how much my grandparents would spend on Halloween every year but because they did it big they were always a destination house in a destination neighborhood and my Nan would do up little bags with a bunch of different kinds of candy and a little bullshit toy and my Pop would do magic tricks. Their old neighbor still lives in the same spot and she still does a shitload of candy apples every year. She posted on the town Facebook to remember to stop by for one and a bunch of newfags were like "um, homemade candy apples? No thanks. How do we know the sweet old lady isn't putting rape in them?" and real ass niggaz had to be like "this woman is a saint and has been doing this since the 90s."

It'ss sweet that the Grandma has a tradition of being the shittiest Halloween candy house on the block.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

It'ss sweet that the Grandma has a tradition of being the shittiest Halloween candy house on the block.

They really aren't good and feel like you're going to rip your teeth out but it is nice that she does all that for the keeids

 

[Brooke Shields]

One year I put out a bowl and covered these big guys under a bunch of tiny hersheys, for a treat, usually I'd never get any big bars

I was left with 6 big useless butterfingers at the end of it all. What kid who's tried them once wants to ever get that shit stuck in their teeth again? It's a thin layer of chocolate wrapped around some scraped off a 5 year old mouse-trap dried peanut butter

 

[Chuck Berry's Toilet Cams]

I really don't mind old kids coming by. The more people out walking around to pad the numbers the better. I'd rather people be going "this Halloween was crazy in our neighborhood" and give out an extra $10 to 18/19 year olds(fuck it, straight up adults) with no costume than kids being like "there was no one out this year." Halloween is the best and I don't care about the old kids, or the people taking their newborns out in strollers to get candy for themselves lol. Having a few big candybars for neighbor kids you know is fun. Anyone within a quarter mile radius of my house gets to hear Ghost To Ghost with Art Bell and I get on the PA speaker every 15 minutes and announce a "Monster Mash" contest that is always coming up in 15 minutes that never happens. "We're gonna find out in 15 short minutes which one of YOU can REALLY do THE MASH! Happy Halloween Las Vegas, this is Love Potion NUMBER NIIIIIIIIIIINE"

 

[firstimelongtime]

15 years of homeownership - not a single fucking trick or treater. Single family in the city that totally got the full-sizes? Nope. Move to the semi-country where people still have kids and crime is zero? Nope. Stopped buying candy after 5 years. I fucking loved Halloween as a kid, and our suburban streets were flooded. It was like b-roll out of "Halloween" or some other movie. Good times...

 

[WhereWeAt]

Have a separate nigger bowl with only candy corn and travel toothpastes.

Jokes aside, they're probably pretty jazzed (pun intended) about the candy corn. I don't think your message is getting across.

 

[WhereWeAt]

15 years of homeownership - not a single fucking trick or treater. Single family in the city that totally got the full-sizes? Nope. Move to the semi-country where people still have kids and crime is zero? Nope. Stopped buying candy after 5 years. I fucking loved Halloween as a kid, and our suburban streets were flooded. It was like b-roll out of "Halloween" or some other movie. Good times...

not to doxx you, but where the fuck are you? When I lived in a small town in the southwest, I was in a weird little subdivision and did the bowl outside thing when I was away on business. i came back and it was full. full of peanut butter snickers, those fucking weirdos.

 

[Stent]

People try to make Halloween a thing here. It's broad fucking daylight because of the time of year. Everyone is dressed like superheroes or a Disney princess. The kids say trick or treat but have no fucking idea about the trick part of it. But all the shops want you to buy Halloween themed shit. Spiders and snakes! Yeah, we already got those 24/7. Spoooooky ghosts! Ok, are they hiding because the sunset is fucking beautiful.

"Your dad's drinking a stubbie out by the driveway while wearing thongs. You're expecting a chocolate bar that's going to melt because it's too fucking hot. You're dressed like Spiderman the same as every other fucking kid. Make an effort you fucking pricks! Here's a Milky Way. Take one for your little brother."

"Fanks, uncle Stent."

"Fuck off."

 

[Chuck Berry's Toilet Cams]

Jokes aside, they're probably pretty jazzed (pun intended) about the candy corn. I don't think your message is getting across.

Candy corn is great with M&Ms and popcorn. If the popcorn is hot(which is ideal) just mix the M&Ms and candy corn together and add the popcorn to them in your mouth

 

[Cartoon Redux]

Candy corn is great with M&Ms and popcorn. If the popcorn is hot(which is ideal) just mix the M&Ms and candy corn together and add the popcorn to them in your mouth

Gonna try this

 

[Guest]

The whole "the negro kids took all the candy out the bowl!" shit only happens to hermit-ass white folks who leave a bowl of candy on the porch. Make them ring the doorbell and hand them one piece of candy. As a (white) kid I'd never take the whole bowl but I'd always take a generous handful from an unsupervised bowl of Reece's.

I put the bowl right outside the door and then watch movies inside where I can see it. Whenever the little nogs start coming up the driveway I run out and grab it and give them one piece each.

 

[Guest]

I really don't mind old kids coming by. The more people out walking around to pad the numbers the better. I'd rather people be going "this Halloween was crazy in our neighborhood" and give out an extra $10 to 18/19 year olds(fuck it, straight up adults) with no costume than kids being like "there was no one out this year." Halloween is the best and I don't care about the old kids, or the people taking their newborns out in strollers to get candy for themselves lol. Having a few big candybars for neighbor kids you know is fun. Anyone within a quarter mile radius of my house gets to hear Ghost To Ghost with Art Bell and I get on the PA speaker every 15 minutes and announce a "Monster Mash" contest that is always coming up in 15 minutes that never happens. "We're gonna find out in 15 short minutes which one of YOU can REALLY do THE MASH! Happy Halloween Las Vegas, this is Love Potion NUMBER NIIIIIIIIIIINE"

I’m with you on the old people. I don’t care if teens or adults want a candy. I do prefer if they’re in a costume but it’s nbd to me. I do however mind when it’s 5 pm and three little black kids take the entire bowl and then I run out before TOT is over.

 

[Chuck Berry's Toilet Cams]

when it’s 5 pm and three little black kids take the entire bowl and then I run out before TOT is over.

Now THAT is some shit!

Nevermind though, only 15 minutes until the Monster Mash contest! That’s right boys and ghouls, we’re gonna lay it ALL the line, TRIUMPH style this ALL HALLOWS EVE! Were you working in the lab late one night? We’re gonna find out in FIF-TEEN short minutes! This is ‘Clap For The Wolfman’ by The Guess Who!”

 

[Cartoon Redux]

Now THAT is some shit!

Nevermind though, only 15 minutes until the Monster Mash contest! That’s right boys and ghouls, we’re gonna lay it ALL the line, TRIUMPH style this ALL HALLOWS EVE! Were you working in the lab late one night? We’re gonna find out in FIF-TEEN short minutes! This is ‘Clap For The Wolfman’ by The Guess Who!”

Holy FUCK I would love/hate being your neighbor