Weirdest, most random bodily functions you've experienced?

[Dennyislife]

As a kid I was riding a bike when a bee hit me in the face and stung me. My face swelled up like the elephant man. I had to spend a night or two in hospital as the swelling was on my neck and as I was a kid they wanted to play it safe. That's how I found out I was allergic.

I wish I took photos as it was incredibe and I could literally feel one side of my face sagging a bit like in minority report where Tom cruise injects himself to make his face age.

Was given steroids and for a few weeks I became extremely good at football and got a trial at a football club after been spotted at a football camp.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

As a kid I was riding a bike when a bee hit me in the face and stung me. My face swelled up like the elephant man. I had to spend a night or two in hospital as the swelling was on my neck and as I was a kid they wanted to play it safe. That's how I found out I was allergic.

I wish I took photos as it was incredibe and I could literally feel one side of my face sagging a bit like in minority report where Tom cruise injects himself to make his face age.

Was given steroids and for a few weeks I became extremely good at football and got a trial at a football club after been spotted at a football camp.

I feel like the last half of this is a joke but anyway; (but just so you know for future joke-spoiling reference, corticosteroids are not the same as anabolic steroids)... anywho; I was with my father on a weekend & started enjoying myself in some trash cupboards - I got stung by a wasp, my mother freaked-out, I was given 'steroids' & in an alternate universe I played for FIFA

 

[Dennyislife]

I feel like the last half of this is a joke but anyway; (but just so you know for future joke-spoiling reference, corticosteroids are not the same as anabolic steroids)... anywho; I was with my father on a weekend & started enjoying myself in some trash cupboards - I got stung by a wasp, my mother freaked-out, I was given 'steroids' & in an alternate universe I played for FIFA

Shit so I was actually good then

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Shit so I was actually good then

Nice lack of faith in yourself and sabotaged potential career, stupid

 

[Dennyislife]

Nice lack of faith in yourself and sabotaged potential career, stupid

I think it's more that young me got confidence and I remember being able to run non stop during this spell or at least thinking I could soci never felt tired...

 

[Cyberatorquer]

I think my penis is too long and thick, when I urinate after intercourse, about the same amount of ejaculate comes out of the shaft while pissing.