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Under USATF Competition Rules and Pat's own admission - he cheated

FurBurger

What would you do for a Klondike bar?
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22,495
Ok gonna make some notes as i listen to fatass whine about his mini-marathon and enjoy my post run shit. I hate him so much. Sorry in advance for the weaponized running autism.
Love your work.

Is there any evidence he's run any other half-marathons? I've looked, and haven't found shit; but I don't have your experience.

Also, does he mention why he's taken "training for half-marathons" out of his bio? It used to say:
In the little downtime remaining, Patrick enjoys hobbies such as motorcycling, model-building, shooting, and training for half marathons.
...and now it's just got a line on how he's focusing on "being a cunt" and "ignoring his daughter".

Lastly, if you go to that "Results and Photos - Milwaukee Brewers Mini Marathon" link you've provided, you'll notice the 2016 photos have been taken down. The 2015 photos are there, the 2017 ones too... but it looks like Fatboy complained to them that people were making fun of him, and now everybody has to do without their photos to assuage the porky cheat's ego.
 

garbageman2244

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3,034
Everyone knows that lardasses don't complete half-marathons and Pat is clearly a lardass, so it looks like we lose again.

One of my favorite Pat bits is also in this thread: he's already reproduced, son, and his child will soon be six years old. Nevermind that he's never met her. His balls are "freshly shorn" and as infallible as his PBs, sweetie. Seethe while you "finger your flaccid little dicklet" when bested by the "young, strong, and competent man" before you. If anyone ever needed proof that he's a delusional narcissist, here it is. Many other places too, but especially here.
 

CarolMaxheinie

Runner, Unlike Fatrick
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21,344
Patrick actually beat her by 4 seconds. I guess this sperg out at the end to beat her really paid off. Good work, Fat.

Edit: actually, if we go by 'chip' time then she beat Patrick by a minute. Carol, can you explain what the difference between 'gun' time and 'chip' time is?
Sure! I love talking about racing:

“Gun time” is the absolute time of the start. It’s when the gun or airhorn signifies the race is begun.

“Chip time” is the actual time since a given racer crossed the start line. Each bib contains a RFID tag.

Almost all racers have a chip time that starts after gun time, because only competitive elites who are lined up on the start actually cross the start upon the gun sounding. Most everyone else is behind them. For official records, for medals and awards, gun time is the only time that matters. When i run a sanction race, my chip time is within a few seconds of gun.

Let’s say gun was 7am, and Fat Pat crossed the start like at 7:15. He waddled for 2:45, which would be his chip time. That makes his gun time 3:00:00 in this example, because gun time doesn’t account for starting behind the pack.

In the soccer mom example, she beat him by a minute because they both started ~15 min after the gun sounded, but she started a minute after him and only finished four seconds behind, meaning she made up ground. The soccer mom smoked him.
 

CarolMaxheinie

Runner, Unlike Fatrick
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21,344
Everyone knows that lardasses don't complete half-marathons and Pat is clearly a lardass, so it looks like we lose again.

One of my favorite Pat bits is also in this thread: he's already reproduced, son, and his child will soon be six years old. Nevermind that he's never met her. His balls are "freshly shorn" and as infallible as his PBs, sweetie. Seethe while you "finger your flaccid little dicklet" when bested by the "young, strong, and competent man" before you. If anyone ever needed proof that he's a delusional narcissist, here it is. Many other places too, but especially here.
There are always well-meaning lardasses who begin and actually complete half marathons. I’m talking orcas like Liz Clarke, who power walk and power fart their way through 13.1 miles. Every race has “sweepers” in the very back, and if you’re caught by them you failed to maintain the minimum pace. They literally put them on short buses and truck them to the finish. It’s hilarious.

However, most races have a generous sweeper time, and if you’re dedicated and jog even part of the race and powerwalk the rest, you won’t get caught. So, yes, even “lardasses” routinely complete half marathons.
 
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76,430
Sure! I love talking about racing:

“Gun time” is the absolute time of the start. It’s when the gun or airhorn signifies the race is begun.

“Chip time” is the actual time since a given racer crossed the start line. Each bib contains a RFID tag.

Almost all racers have a chip time that starts after gun time, because only competitive elites who are lined up on the start actually cross the start upon the gun sounding. Most everyone else is behind them. For official records, for medals and awards, gun time is the only time that matters. When i run a sanction race, my chip time is within a few seconds of gun.

Let’s say gun was 7am, and Fat Pat crossed the start like at 7:15. He waddled for 2:45, which would be his chip time. That makes his gun time 3:00:00 in this example, because gun time doesn’t account for starting behind the pack.

In the soccer mom example, she beat him by a minute because they both started ~15 min after the gun sounded, but she started a minute after him and only finished four seconds behind, meaning she made up ground. The soccer mom smoked him.
Ha, that's great. His grimaced face and extra effort at the end to barely pass a responsible and loving mother, who no doubt had her children there to cheer her on, was all for show since he was still slower.

What a sad, and very very fat, man.
 

CarolMaxheinie

Runner, Unlike Fatrick
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21,344
Hilarious. This rabbit hole keeps getting deeper. And wider, too, to accommodate how fat he is.
What amazes me is that he could have just said “eh, I was hurt and decided to cut it short and try again next year. Good job everyone!”. Who wouldn’t relate and genuinely wish him well?

Instead, he went onto Twitter and boasted about a sub-two hour marathon and impotently asked “What’s your PB, sweetie?” to anyone who crossed paths with the tard. Once he got called out, he panicked and made contradictory claims (pothole vs curb) that further show that he cheated. What a pants shitting retard! 😂
 

Torque’sHeadBump

(Voluntarily) torqued boomer
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63,566
Ok gonna make some notes as i listen to fatass whine about his mini-marathon and enjoy my post run shit. I hate him so much. Sorry in advance for the weaponized running autism.

Tl:dr: Fat Pat makes several wild claims, and I punch through those with FACTS and LOGIC. 🐮

Outright Lies:

- He says “runs half marathons” [13:50 of Part 3] as if he’s actively in shape or training. He couldn’t run 1.31 miles much less 13.1. I hate him.

- “they (me and the handsome and eloquent Coonskin) are there… to send harassing texts and leave harassing voicemails”. Not so. I have never texted or called Patso. Not even once. He just wishes I did because he loves me and @covidcumia and wants a thruple.

- “There’s no way they could have seen the timing mat data”.Not so. Sometime between 2018 and now, they consolidated the data from ChronoTrack and they’re using some other system now. Here’s their own website with timing mat and photo data for the life of the race:

Results and Photos - Milwaukee Brewers Mini Marathon

Choose to run a half-marathon, 10K or 5K and race through Milwaukee and around the field warning track at Miller Park!
www.race-brewers.com
www.race-brewers.com
I have screenshots showing two “NA” entries, meaning he did not cross the mats at the 5K (3.1 mile), 10K (6.2 mile) and 15K (9.3 mile). He did cross at 5 and 10 mile. These correspond perfectly to the map showing where he cut the out and back portions just after the 2 mile marker and the bigger cut was miles 7 and 10

- “Not everyone gets their picture taken at every spot” [14:45 of Part 3]. Not so, chubs. See the numerous examples on the 2016 race page. Most runners have ~30 pictures from the course. Fatass has around a dozen. He’s conspicuously and autistically farting up the finish - we’ve all had a great laugh at his ugly face trying to run past the limping soccer moms. Not much from the course itself, backing up my finding that he cut the course in the middle section(s).

Bullshit from Fatass:

- Pretends not to know how to pronounce “Maxheinie”. He loves me and knows my name on here, as well as real life.

- “Five miles into it I stepped off a curb”. [14:16
of Part 3] Not so, this isn’t how races work. There’s no curb five miles into any sanctioned race, ever. He was fat and out of shape but wanted the Twitter dopamine hits from claiming to have finished, so he cut the course. If he tripped over a curb, it’s because he was off course waddling toward a part to cut back in.

-“Even though *chuckle and pause to think of how to continue the lie* that was my far my worst marathon time”. [14:15 of Part 3] Not so. Pat child didn’t run a marathon. He didn’t even run a half. He’s clearly lying here and it’s obvious he has never run a marathon and has no idea what it’s all about. The fat, lying asshole deserves the same fate as fellow marathon liar Dr Frank Meza. As someone who works my ass off to run marathons competitively, it irks me that he’s sitting on his couch stealing running valor for Twitter attention.

- “5000 participants… (at the 2016 Brewers Mini Marathon)”.[14:40 in the Part 3Not so. 1,831 runners completed the race. Patso came in at a pathetic 1570th place. Proof: https://results.chronotrack.com/event/results/event/event-23424

- He says he walked the rest of the course [14:58 of Part 3] after stepping off a curb Mile 5. Then says he “ran the entire course” [14:50 of Part 3] Which is it, lardass?

Projecting Pat:

- This fat fuck says I’m obsessed with him but he visits my Instagram (currently 282K followers) daily and randomly block and unblocks. Sad to say he probably unblocks, jerks off to me, then blocks me back out of shame. Don’t sweat it Piggy, lots of old fat trolls like you jerk off to me. You’ll never get the real thing so enjoy pig
140495E5-9F1E-4F81-AF91-F21EF43236B5.jpeg
 

Torque’sHeadBump

(Voluntarily) torqued boomer
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63,566
"Here you see the subject fleeing the scene after vandalizing my cafe racer"
Why’s he wearing what appear to be baggy windbreaker pants and an obviously Walmart-bought hoodie? Clear signs he is far from a regular runner. Hell, in a good week I get 4 days in, and I have actual running gear. This lardass is so pathetic.
 
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