"Things I learned while Patrick was drinking"

[guest]

Wow, Porque, a 42 year old man knows a mnemonic for biological classification??!!!
What's next, Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally?
You love showing off that 1.7 high school GPA!

View attachment 52464

Kid Porn Connoisseur, Ol' Fat Greasy Swine

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

He’s 42 and thinks it’s cool to be an alcoholic that spends his life tweeting. Any self-respecting person would be ashamed to live like this.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

This is a bad lie even for Patrick S. Tomlinson. He has no friends and can’t even say his own last name without fucking it up. Nobody is documenting whatever hack shit he’s saying except an autist from this place.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

Most people keep folders of info on their phones in the modern era. Instead of, just remembering and then using google to double check. Fucking fat pig. Torque is so much cooler than this faggot.

Yup.

He is what Torque Wheeler would call a "dumb motherhucker"

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

This is a bad lie even for Patrick S. Tomlinson. He has no friends and can’t even say his own last name without fucking it up. Nobody is documenting whatever hack shit he’s saying except an autist from this place.

He doesn’t have friends and usually comes up with these obvious lies when he’s drunk and lonely (which is often)

He was prob 6-8 beers deep and looking at his phone and said to himself “I tweet so many amazing things and teach people so much and I’m always right, I should be getting paid for this! Or at least thanking me everyday! ”

Then to get that attention he desperately craves he comes up with this nonsense that his “friends” (the tons he has yet sits at bars alone) love him so much for the impact they make on their lives with his knowledge they actually have…folders! on their phones! Yeah, that’s the ticket! of his many tweets because they all learn so much from a fat 1.7 high school GPA unemployed 42 year old loser.

It’s like how he says he has so many friends “all over the world” that would drop everything to party with him (sure pig) yet is always alone at bars, even at his dumb conventions he’s usually alone. Plus he’s fat.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

In his deluded mind pat really thinks he’s a rabble rouser like Hunter S. Thompson. How embarrassing.

He comes up with these obvious lies about how great he is and how he has so many friends when he’s drunk and lonely. He’s so starved for attention because nobody can stand to be around him.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

his proud day-drinking character is out again, wine aunt energy

It not only shows how lonely and desperate for attention he is but how he thinks his tweeting is so important. He made this up thinking it’s realistic that a “dear” friend actually saves his very important tweets because they learn so much from him - especially when he’s been drinking.

He thinks everyone takes twitter as seriously as he does, I bet whenever he meets someone new he tells them to follow him on twitter and how important he is on a dying social media platform. Twitter peaked years ago yet Pat still thinks it’s the best thing since sliced bread (because he’s fat)

 

[DanFielding]

He has friends but they all have jobs, families, and other responsibilities which prevent them from spending all their time in a bar with an unemployed failure. Torque's in Hooligans daily while they only go there once or twice a month.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

He has friends but they all have jobs, families, and other responsibilities which prevent them from spending all their time in a bar with an unemployed failure. Torque's in Hooligans daily while they only go there once or twice a month.

He’s the pathetic barfly nobody is happy to see yet he’s thrilled to see someone he knows and considers a “friend” yet they’ve never got together outside of seeing him at Hooligans. Every bar has one of these types and they never realize they are “that guy”

I can see it now, Pat sees someone he’s seen before at Hooligans and his fat face lights up while that someone says to themself “ugh, not this asshole” and tries to be polite but keep their distance.

 

[Guyincognito]

if i were a less-self-aware person I would assume that such a "folder" was mocking how retarded I am, but when one would be caught documenting into it they would play it off as if it were a goofy folder of endearment

It reminds me of my first out of college job, where some 30+ year old autist was doing so many fucking socially retarded things in a week that I decided to make a .txt file documenting every new thing because they were literally sitcom plot-points but less funny since they just happened in real life

I'm glad someone's probably doing this to Patrick's gay ass mannerisms

This. In his mind’s eye he pictures himself as this urbane socialite, drinking a nice quad out of a goblet regaling his “friend” with the finer points of string theory. In reality it’s this:

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

View attachment 52504

 

[guest]

Yup.

He is what Torque Wheeler would call a "dumb motherhucker"

Torque, we need you now more than ever.

 

[guest]

"My dear friend..."

[MEDIA=youtube]vY6Rf0HnVgY[/MEDIA]

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

He’s the pathetic barfly nobody is happy to see yet he’s thrilled to see someone he knows and considers a “friend” yet they’ve never got together outside of seeing him at Hooligans. Every bar has one of these types and they never realize they are “that guy”

I can see it now, Pat sees someone he’s seen before at Hooligans and his fat face lights up while that someone says to themself “ugh, not this asshole” and tries to be polite but keep their distance.

Over 1/3 of the total posts on page three are by you.

Condense that shit, mang

 

[Racist Google Intern]

Fatrick has the unwarrented self importance of an elementary school teacher.

 

[FranksWirecutters]

The dear friend is Nikki and all she’s learned is you are jealous of all the moon cricket toots she gets.

Thank you for using that one. It's s very underused slur.

 

[CruisinColin]

Somebody with a Reddit account post this to r/iamverysmart. The account has to be over thirty days old. I had to redact things or else they'll just remove it anyway. I tried to make sure the embarrassing "I'm pointing at my big brain" profile pic was still readable.