The Lord of the Rings movies would've been much better without this

[RedHeadpw2]

Christopher Lee would likely call you a faggot for caring.

Lee should've gotten the Pvt Mellish emergency heart surgery treatment back in WWII.

 

[nasty twp]

Christopher Lee would likely call you a faggot for caring.

Fair dos. He gunned down a Nazi or three, who could say him nay? I'd take it on the chin.

This being said, Tolkien himself refused to give his blessing for Lee to play Gandalf. I've always found that rather amusing.

 

[Curator]

Look up the audiobooks read by Phil Dragash, they should be freely available on Youtube, Spotify, etc. They're great because they have the music from the movies for ambience and the guy does a damn good impression of all the actor's voices.

The books can be a bit daunting because of all the exposition and songs and poems. Tolkien wasn't a pulp novelist after all, but a philologist. Hearing them spoken out loud makes it all a lot more digestible and is strangely appropriate, seeing as Tolkien based his mythology on oral traditions that were only written down afterwards.

The Children of Hurin audiobook is also up on Youtube, narrated by Christopher Lee.

 

[1073waaf]

Peter Jackson should have made those movies in the style of his old flicks like Bad Taste and Dead Alive. I want to see Golem puking green slime all over his cave and Orcs ripping Hobbit heads off with massive amounts of blood.

 

[nasty twp]

Peter Jackson should have made those movies in the style of his old flicks like Bad Taste and Dead Alive. I want to see Golem puking green slime all over his cave and Orcs ripping Hobbit heads off with massive amounts of blood.

Meet The Feebles altered my brain chemistry, in ways good and ill. I wasn't the same person after seeing it. It's one-of-a-kind.

How many other grindhouse Guignol XXX movies can you name that parody the Muppet Show? The Feebles are technically now canon to the Muppetsverse now, according to The Muppets Mayhem tv series, if anyone cares.



Sometimes I'll just go about my mundane everyday business humming Sebastian Fox's big 'Sodomy' number to myself. Sebastian's tenure as the camp effeminate frustrated stage manager was just like my own experience. "Minge binge" has never left my vocabulary, either.

 

[BUBBLER]

This has always been my favorite sub-plot in the book. I need to re-read them, man. I think I was in fawkin 8th grade when I last read the trilogy.

You ever read The Silmarillion?

 

[BUBBLER]

The actors are basically the same cheeky unserious munchkins in real life, one suspects there wasn't much acting involved.







Thank you for the correction brotherman, been a while since I read the books so I must be misremembering.

Still, I don't see why--apart from marketing, as you say--Legolas needed to be blond, especially with all the other fair Elves wandering around the films, not just Galadriel. A young Orlando Bloom looked elfin and ethereal and lovely enough starring in Troy as doomed glossy brunette princess Paris, didn't he?

Curiously, Bloom initially auditioned and got a callback for Faramir, at first, until Dame Fran Walsh suggested him for Legolas.

Tolkien retconned Legolas/Thranduil a few times. Greenwood was supposed to just be Middle Earth Wood Elves who never took part in the First Age conflict and were brown haired savages. But later he romanticized the idea that all the Elf Leaders have to be either Noldor or Sindar Lords. He ended up making them relatives of Thingol like Celeborn, which funny enough means they're supposed to have silver hair

I'm a faggot

 

[nasty twp]

Tolkien retconned Legolas/Thranduil a few times. Greenwood was supposed to just be Middle Earth Wood Elves who never took part in the First Age conflict and were brown haired savages. But later he romanticized the idea that all the Elf Leaders have to be either Noldor or Sindar Lords. He ended up making them relatives of Thingol like Celeborn, which funny enough means they're supposed to have silver hair

I'm a faggot

Now I'm learning more than I ever wanted to know. This does explain the choice to make Legolas resemble the likes of Celeborn & Haldir, though.


This reminds me of one of the extended/cut Fellowship scenes that irked me--the Fellowship encountering Haldir and his guards for the first time. Jackson has it that Legolas draws his bow in anger on the Lorien Guard, then a few minutes later throws Gimli under a bus to them over Gimli taking the Nine into Moria. In the book, neither of these happen--Legolas is overjoyed to meet his Lorien cousins, and iirc extols Gimli to them.

In this same film scene, after an heated exchange of verbals Gimli tells Haldir in Khuzdul that he'll spit on his grave. Ribs that make up for the rest of it, even though again this is a horrible mischaracterisation--a diplomat Lord such as Gimli would never be so rude and gauche, to the degree that Aragorn has to reprimand him. Oh well. Tolkien's languages that we hear in these films might be the highlight for me, the oral component (steady) is something the books cannot offer. Sindarin is basically weird proto Cymraeg (Welsh) or Brythonic, which makes me giddy as a schoolbitch.

And I do like the few seconds we get of Boromir consoling Frodo, we ought to have seen more little tidbits of Boromir's good nature while we could still enjoy it (in ONE film of the whole saga)

 

[BUBBLER]

Now I'm learning more than I ever wanted to know. This does explain the choice to make Legolas resemble the likes of Celeborn & Haldir, though.


This reminds me of one of the extended/cut Fellowship scenes that irked me--the Fellowship encountering Haldir and his guards for the first time. Jackson has it that Legolas draws his bow in anger on the Lorien Guard, then a few minutes later throws Gimli under a bus to them over Gimli taking the Nine into Moria. In the book, neither of these happen--Legolas is overjoyed to meet his Lorien cousins, and iirc extols Gimli to them.

In this same film scene, after an heated exchange of verbals Gimli tells Haldir in Khuzdul that he'll spit on his grave. Ribs that make up for the rest of it. Tolkien's languages that we hear in these films might be the highlight for me, the oral component (steady) is something the books cannot offer.

And I do like the few seconds we get of Boromir consoling Frodo, we ought to have seen more little tidbits of Boromir's good nature while we could still enjoy it (in ONE film of the whole saga)

The elves from Lorien showing up at helms deep and being fucking noobs was so gay

They were busy fighting the war in the north

 

[RedHeadpw2]

The elves from Lorien showing up at helms deep and being fucking noobs was so gay

They were busy fighting the war in the north

I thought those accurate volleys at waves of advancing uruk-hai were pretty awesome and well done with the cgi, showing how effective highly trained bowmen could be. Something that's been missing from medieval films, as surely similar instances occurred during the late middle ages. Haldir gave off a very gay vibe though.

 

[PickleRickle]

You ever read The Silmarillion?

Yep. Bought that book for my dad 20 years ago and ended up reading it myself after he couldnt stop sperging about it.

 

[Chive Turkey]

The elves from Lorien showing up at helms deep and being fucking noobs was so gay

They were busy fighting the war in the north

It was another questionable choice but again I can understand the logic behind it. In a book you can mention Dale, Erebor and the war in the North, but you can't really slip that into a movie that easily. And if you don't do it, then the audience is gonna wonder: "Well, what the fuck are the Elves doing?" Incorporating Haldir's little company in the Helm's Deep scene is a practical way to encapsulate all that. The Elves are doing their part, but it's supplementary, minor and on their own can't stand a chance against Sauron. It also contrasts with the fuckhueg Elven army at the very start of the first film. The Elves are dwindling and the next age of the world belongs to Men, if they can find the strength to defend it.

Same with the Aragorn-Arwen love plot. A part of it is to hammer home that elves are immortal and need to eventually leave Middle-Earth. It's to remind the audience that they're not just goofy humans with weird ears, they're a methaphysically different race. Something which could've easily be lost on the viewer at this point in the movies, with all the shit that's happened.