I can see Turk smiling like this.
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The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread
- Thread starter TheGhostOfAbeVigoda
- Start date
I have an important update. My hand still hurts so much I can't sleep and sweat constantly. Also I just drooled on my hand by accident but it felt nice to feel anything but agony. The CBC will be covering this story in more detail in their new segment "Men not Responsible Enough To Have Two Hands"
Important update a doctor was supposed to visit me on Thursday and Monday and a medic on Friday. All appointments have been cancelled by the service provider the day of. It's a thanksgiving miracle.
Gagandeep is late with my order. I'm pissed.
Man, I know it seems impossible, but you're eventually going to have to sack up and go to them. Is it osteomyelitis that you have?
You have ostriches. You bitch hole fuck.
Yeah, but you have a staph infection in your bones. There is green pus inside your fucking bones hollowing them out. You need doctors.
Yeah but you're gay and attract spiders which is how we tell who is gay in Ontario. Guys who get covered in gay spiders when sleep. When im through with you you'll wish you were dead.
I didn't mean it. You're not gay or covered in spiders.
They're beautiful lady spiders and they're trying to give me a hummer.
She is actually gender queer so you're half gay.
I actually knew a gender queer girl who went by the "they" pronoun and I was super confused as I played board games with them. I was like "is what I'm feeling bisexuality?" No. It's a fucking girl.
I also invited their 19 year old friend to go to Guizhao with me when I was in my late 20s even though I had no idea what that is or how long it gets a visa. I drank a lot when I went to board game cafes.
Would you rather have an ass for a penis or a penis for an ass?
I haven't used my penis in over a year. Ass for a penis.
Remember right before I did shrooms that one time I said "I'm gonna see God and Dougie" and then Dougie reappeared that same night??
That was a Canadian Thanksgiving miracle. You know what I've never once witnessed in my life? A Christmas miracle. Christmas is Jesus' B day and nothing more. It shouldn't even be a holiday. We should just sing Happy Birthday To Ya and go the fuck to work. Was Dougie ever resurrected on Christmas? NO.
That was a Canadian Thanksgiving miracle. You know what I've never once witnessed in my life? A Christmas miracle. Christmas is Jesus' B day and nothing more. It shouldn't even be a holiday. We should just sing Happy Birthday To Ya and go the fuck to work. Was Dougie ever resurrected on Christmas? NO.
I'm gonna start drinking soon. I hope I don't flip out.
I have to stock up for 3 days and usually finish my supply in a day then have the shakes for 2. I fucking hate Christmas.
I'm gonna kill the rest of my booze today too and there's no fucking way I'm going into a store today because I will likely lose my temper. I'm gonna drink my whiskey and then I'll have 7 tall boys of beer left over which is only good for getting me just buzzed enough to jones for more.
For our American friends: the liquor stores close for Christmas day and boxing day making it the most dangerous time of the year for drinks.