The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

[Turk February]

She looks like someone who would be friends with my mom and be impolite to me. Did you ever have that as a kid? One of your parent's friends giving you an attitude like "why the fuck are you here?" in your own home? "I live here ma'am. I'm a child."

Yes. She's my step mother now.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Seriously I used to live in Brantford, super close to Kitchener and my girlfriend was there. Neither of us drive. 3 to 5 hours on Greyhound buses to spend time together. Fuck that shit.

Jesus Christ. You know you can fuck watermelons right?

 

[Turry]

She looks like someone who would be friends with my mom and be impolite to me. Did you ever have that as a kid? One of your parent's friends giving you an attitude like "why the fuck are you here?" in your own home? "I live here ma'am. I'm a child."

I didn't take the adults seriously because they were almost all a bunch of potheads and drunks.

 

[Turk February]

Jesus Christ. You know you can fuck watermelons right?

To be honest she had to make the journey a lot more often than I did. I'm a lazy piece of shit. But she was beautiful.

 

[Turk February]

She would also get wet from holding hands. And like soaking wet. Horniest person I met.

 

[Turry]

Neither of us drive.

Please tell me that you lost your licenses because of DUIs

 

[Turk February]

Please tell me that you lost your licenses because of DUIs

Naw. I've made the pragmatic decision to not drive. I have never had a license. I just know I can do a lot of damage on a bad day.

 

[Turry]

Naw. I've made the pragmatic decision to not drive. I have never had a license. I just know I can do a lot of damage on a bad day.

Okay well I won't bust your balls too hard. Took me a long time to get my license because I was an irresponsible junkie and I knew I'd reenact Carmageddon if given the opportunity

 

[Turry]

Enjoy public transit, walker

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Naw. I've made the pragmatic decision to not drive. I have never had a license. I just know I can do a lot of damage on a bad day.

I'm a great driver and driving in big cities stresses me the fuck out to the max. If I had to live in one I probably wouldn't drive very often.

 

[Turry]

I'm a great driver and driving in big cities stresses me the fuck out to the max. If I had to live in one I probably wouldn't drive very often.

Nothing about it is worse than trying to take a bus in rush hour, Abester.

 

[Turk February]

I'm a great driver and driving in big cities stresses me the fuck out to the max. If I had to live in one I probably wouldn't drive very often.

Oh dude just the idea of the Gardiner Expressway in Toronto sends chills through my body. How do people do that every day?

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Nothing about it is worse than trying to take a bus in rush hour, Abester.

That's probably true.

 

[Turk February]

Nothing about it is worse than trying to take a bus in rush hour, Abester.

Yeah but then if you're late it not your fault. You can just chill next to a Boq and listen to audiobook. The bus is underrated.

 

[Turry]

Yeah but then if you're late it not your fault. You can just chill next to a Boq and listen to audiobook. The bus is underrated.

But it is your fault for not leaving a full hour earlier in case you do get jammed up in traffic.

 

[Turry]

Anyways we don't need more immigrants on the road so thank you @Turk February

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Oh dude just the idea of the Gardiner Expressway in Toronto sends chills through my body. How do people do that every day?

My parents used to live in Mississauga for a while and them talking about their fucking 3 hour commutes where you're mostly just sitting still in traffic sounded insane to me. Now that I think about it though, I'd rather be doing that in my own vehicle than in a bus with a bunch of sweaty dickwhackers.

 

[Turk February]

But it is your fault for not leaving a full hour earlier in case you do get jammed up in traffic.

Over where I am sometimes the bus doesn't even show up. People accept you're gunna be late.

 

[Turk February]

My parents used to live in Mississauga for a while and them talking about their fucking 3 hour commutes where you're mostly just sitting still in traffic sounded insane to me. Now that I think about it though, I'd rather be doing that in my own vehicle than in a bus with a bunch of sweaty dickwhackers.

What if they retain their semen and eat healthy?

 

[Turry]

My parents used to live in Mississauga for a while and them talking about their fucking 3 hour commutes where you're mostly just sitting still in traffic sounded insane to me. Now that I think about it though, I'd rather be doing that in my own vehicle than in a bus with a bunch of sweaty dickwhackers.

Throw on some tunes or something, jam your knee under the steering wheel, light a fawkin cigarette and just hang brother.