Tall Tales strikes again

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Jesus Christ, his life is such shit he has to brag about something he claimed he did as an infant for likes.

 

[guest]

He's such an annoying liar. Pat's the type of kid who told people that his dad worked for Pokemon and he had 100 Edition 1 Charizards. The other kids had a secret place to meet at recess to get away from him.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

I like to think that his parents rolled him over onto his stomach hoping that he would choke to death on his own vomit, and when infanticide didn't pan out they just told him he rolled over on his own the first night.

they call that Disappointment SIDS

 

[guest]

they call that Disappointment SIDS

When you roll your baby onto its stomach so that it will die on purpose, they call it "giving your kid the ol' Tomlinson tumble"

 

[Phish]

Ill take advice on my baby from someone whose mothers milk didnt try to practice “natural selection” on them, thank you very much. Id also prefer them to be a non-abandoner too if thats not too much to ask.

 

[Mike Glyer]

Doesn't really need to be said but of course he wouldn't know that this is impossible. Fucking child abandoning moron.

 

[JoeCumiaDotCom]

Baby Pat bit off his own foreskin.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

god I hope he crashes on his motorcycle and is wheelchair bound

As long as he is at fault. No need for him to cash in of an accident. Because that is probably on lists for a possible retirement plan. He really wants a payday from any kind of lawsuit.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

He would sell more books telling these tall tales presented as tall tales "the cat that takes down six foot wing span barn owl" could be chapter one, chapter two could be "cat that drug a beaver trap home" etc..

 

[DrSteveCarlisi]

So the nurses found that he had rolled himself over that first night? Then they told Mama Raven, who held onto this very telling story about her imporTanT boy for years and later told it to him? He then internalized it enough that he remembers it to this day, when he uses it to distinguish himself from all the other turds on Twitter.

Call me crazy, but I believe that his Mama actually did tell him him that. I believe she's the real culprit here. She probably ran out of fake praise about things that actually matter and had to continue to make her special little guy feel extra special using lies about worthless shit that no one but him could ever possibly care about.

GreaT parenTing.

 

[FurBurger]

I was in middle of telling him momma pig rolled him out of the way because he was hogging all the teets that were for his piggy brothers and sisters and he blocked me

Serves you right; you know what a painful memory sharing food must be for him.

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

"I turned my daughter over to John Snyder before she was even born, child."

 

[TorqueWheeler]

What a pathetic person needing to lie for no reason at all no matter what the situation. You’re such a fucking loser, Pat. Shows you’ve never even met your daughter too.

 

[Pringle Can Lothario]

Paul Weimer popped a chubby.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

Just picturing his fat fish mouthed face being illuminated by his fat phone as his fat fingers furiously tap away with the dumbest brag of all time makes me irrationally angry.

He has no idea when his daughter first turned over, either. Piece of shit

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

I'm pretty sure ONLY 7 year olds do that

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

"I turned my daughter over to John Snyder before she was even born, child."

More to the point: this fat retard was it even there to see his own kid rolling over for the first times. Nice bragging, stupid.

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

Fatso oozed out of his mothers rancid scumcunt and slopped onto the barnyard floor. The manswine could do nothing more than lay in a puddle of piss, blood, shit, dirt and hay. Farmer Brown should have taken a captive bolt to this fat fuck and done the world a favor.

 

[Guyincognito]

Please stop! This thread is triggering me. You’re going to break my 10 days without an incident streak

 

[Chive Turkey]

Fucking Joe wouldn't even stoop this low.