Tall Tales strikes again

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

Who would even give a fuck?

 

[captain_kamala]

of course he did. all swaddled up in a bassinet. why does he always have to be the specialest boy ever?

 

[guest]

That would explain why he's such a retard. He fell right onto his soft spot.

 

[stealthygeek]

Think of how many kilos LiiTTel bayyybee infant child Pat could bench fresh out the womb. This guy's definitely not fat.

Never has been. Never will be.

 

[guest]

By the way I'll save everyone the Google search:



EVERY website is in agreement: newborns cannot roll over. Babies lack the muscular strength and ability until they are (say it with me) four months old.





[URL unfurl="true"]https://helpmegrowmn.org/HMG/HelpfulRes/Articles/BabyMilestones/index.html#:~:text=Babies%20start%20rolling%20over%20as,roll%20over%20in%20both%20directions.[/URL]

 

[TheDarkFezRises]

He'll never know what age his daughter was when she took her first step or said her first word, but he's got Mama Raven's childhood stories about how he was the most special little baby in the world.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

That’s what Papa clown told them when they asked why Rick was turned over. He didn’t have as good of an excuse as to why he was in there by himself.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

He probably says he remembers it too. Jesus he really thinks nobody sees through his stupid lies. Why even lie about something like this?

 

[guest]

I like to think that his parents rolled him over onto his stomach hoping that he would choke to death on his own vomit, and when infanticide didn't pan out they just told him he rolled over on his own the first night.

 

[guest]

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

I was in middle of telling him momma pig rolled him out of the way because he was hogging all the teets that were for his piggy brothers and sisters and he blocked me

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

I bet his mom told him this lie to hide from the shameful truth. The doctors were actually all huddled around Baby Rick because they'd never seen a fatter, uglier baby despite being obstetricians in Wisconsin.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Bragging about something you did as a newborn is so pathetic. I can picture a 7 year old doing that.

 

[guest]

Bragging about something you did as a newborn is so pathetic. I can picture a 7 year old doing that.

I'm pretty sure ONLY 7 year olds do that

 

[Heyfellas]

It’s so easily proven as a lie.

This also proves (yet again) Patrick knows fucking nothing about science.

 

[Stent]

Technicality Tomlinson. He was born in a barn. First saw the inside of a hospital in his early teens when a local farmer accidentally shot him thinking he was a wild pig eating his corn crops. It was just Rick eating his corn crops.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

my mommy said i turned myself over my first night in the hospital so basically I'm really good and smart

 

[Udders]

For the first time, 'No child, you didn't' is the appropriate response.

 

[SFWA liaison]

BORN TOUGH, patty is always so tough in his stories, weird how when it actually matters he gets beat up and his arm broken for being a fag:

or calls the police over someone challenging to a squealing match

god I hope he crashes on his motorcycle and is wheelchair bound