My parents thought my father was sterile

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Thanks for finally coming clean about that

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

Thanks for finally coming clean about that

Do you have anything you'd like to share with the group?

 

[guest]

I love family story time, much better than "Waaaa I'm gay and the consequences of my stupid choice make me sad" story time.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Do you have anything you'd like to share with the group?

One time in high school I came home and my dad was sitting on the stoop smoking a cigarette. He asked me if any of my friends drove a red truck. I said no. He told me some young guys had been in the parking lot next door in a red truck, cursing loudly and he yelled at them to watch their language around his house. They told him to fuck off and drove away and he had been standing out there for four hours with a big rock so he could fuck up their truck if they drove by again.

 

[guest]

Old redneck I used to work with loved to respond to people by asking "Yer parents have any children that lived?"

 

[satanssockpuppet]

My father's parents had nine kids, including one set of twins. Their birthdays were all between May 1st and May 10th. They went on a family vacation every August. So obviously, grandpa only fucked grandma once a year, while they were on vacation. He was an odd guy.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

my father used to have me sit in his truck for 6 hours on end every day so he can go run other errands. the plan was if the cops show up and try to give him a parking ticket I will have to lie to the police that the driver was just out to get a pack of cigarettes and is coming back soon, and at that point I will have to run to a pay phone to call him to move his truck. Fun time just sitting there sweating wondering if I have to lie to the police

That reminds me of sitting in my mom's car while she and her boyfriend scored drugs across the Bowery throughout the early 80s. I loved those trips into the City.

 

[EraGodless]

He injured his balls in a motorcycle accident as a young man and was told he could never have kids. Thankfully I don't know any further details on that.

When my elated mother told him she was pregnant with my older sister he went out and got drunk. He came home with dead flowers from a cemetery and then later he punched her in the stomach a bunch of times. I've told this story in real life but I always stop at the part with the flowers.

My father also once told me he tried to get my mom to abort all three of us and that they had sex fewer than five times in a 14 year marriage. My mom told me the same thing for some reason. Nice discretion, stupids (RIP)

Must have been pretty potent- 3 out of 5 ain't bad.

 

[bantadant]

My dad would always put liquor in a water bottle and tell the people at the gate of high school football games that I had a condition so I had to have it.

Not my dad, but my uncle took me to a Mets game once and hid a few cans of beer in a box of Nilla Wafers that i brought. Didn't realize at the time how much of a real ass dude that move was