My parents thought my father was sterile

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

He injured his balls in a motorcycle accident as a young man and was told he could never have kids. Thankfully I don't know any further details on that.

When my elated mother told him she was pregnant with my older sister he went out and got drunk. He came home with dead flowers from a cemetery and then later he punched her in the stomach a bunch of times. I've told this story in real life but I always stop at the part with the flowers.

My father also once told me he tried to get my mom to abort all three of us and that they had sex fewer than five times in a 14 year marriage. My mom told me the same thing for some reason. Nice discretion, stupids (RIP)

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

Your dad sounds like a good egg.

 

[guest]

WWAW my grandfather arranged my dad to marry his daughter (I don't think my mom had much say)
(yes, distant cousins...yes im inbred)

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

Your dad sounds like a good egg.

He was a very interesting guy.

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

He was a very interesting guy.

So nothing like you?

Just busting your stones. Haha

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

WWAW my grandfather arranged my dad to marry his daughter (I don't think my mom had much say)
(yes, distant cousins...yes im inbred)

Don't make ya a bad person.

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

He could also roll a joint one handed while driving which was pretty cool.

 

[Harry Powell]

He injured his balls in a motorcycle accident as a young man and was told he could never have kids. Thankfully I don't know any further details on that.

When my elated mother told him she was pregnant with my older sister he went out and got drunk. He came home with dead flowers from a cemetery and then later he punched her in the stomach a bunch of times. I've told this story in real life but I always stop at the part with the flowers.

My father also once told me he tried to get my mom to abort all three of us and that they had sex fewer than five times in a 14 year marriage. My mom told me the same thing for some reason. Nice discretion, stupids (RIP)

Since they clearly hated each other, why even get married?

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

Since they clearly hated each other, why even get married?

I wonder the same thing. They divorced when I was five and I never saw them in the same room together after that. I can't imagine them together.

We lived in a 2 family house that my parents owned and my father was boning the Japanese lady who lived down stairs and was ten years younger. He left my mom and tried to live down there with her but mom didn't go along with that. He married the Japanese lady and I was never allowed at his house until she overdosed and died.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

My dad had me keep a shotgun in my room when i was a kid because my bedroom was by the back door, so I'd be able to hear a robber breaking in and blast him before he got too deep in the house

 

[RoTheHo69]

WWAW my grandfather arranged my dad to marry his daughter (I don't think my mom had much say)
(yes, distant cousins...yes im inbred)

Builds character

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

WWAW my grandfather arranged my dad to marry his daughter (I don't think my mom had much say)
(yes, distant cousins...yes im inbred)

I always wonder how you could get a wife as a towelie in Canada

 

[guest]

My grandfather didn't go to one of his daughter's (car accident) or my grandmother's funeral because he thought funerals were "pointless" and he'd "mourn them in his own way." He also fucked one of his other daughter's friends when she was 17 (legal in the UK) and he was in his 50s. I really admired him when I was a kid because he'd fought in North Africa, Normandy, Holland, the battle of the Bulge and Germany in WW2, and I guess those experiences (which I only learned about later from my dad) coloured his behaviour later, but the guy was basically a sociopath.

 

[alkiefuck2]

What happened to the motorbike?

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

What happened to the motorbike?

He used it to attempt suicide via carbon monoxide but ended up giving himself brain damage instead.

I'm kidding. That was years later and with a different motorcycle.

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

My dad had me keep a shotgun in my room when i was a kid because my bedroom was by the back door, so I'd be able to hear a robber breaking in and blast him before he got too deep in the house

my father used to have me sit in his truck for 6 hours on end every day so he can go run other errands. the plan was if the cops show up and try to give him a parking ticket I will have to lie to the police that the driver was just out to get a pack of cigarettes and is coming back soon, and at that point I will have to run to a pay phone to call him to move his truck. Fun time just sitting there sweating wondering if I have to lie to the police

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

He came home with dead flowers from a cemetery and then later he punched her in the stomach a bunch of times.

I hope the poor guy didn't break his hand.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

my father used to have me sit in his truck for 6 hours on end every day so he can go run other errands. the plan was if the cops show up and try to give him a parking ticket I will have to lie to the police that the driver was just out to get a pack of cigarettes and is coming back soon, and at that point I will have to run to a pay phone to call him to move his truck. Fun time just sitting there sweating wondering if I have to lie to the police

Dads are great, man. We used to steal produce from fields at night sometimes

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

I hope the poor guy didn't break his hand?

He did but it was years later in drunk driving accident. He had a punch of screws and shit in his wrist. He called it Frankenhand

 

[Dennyislife]

There was a shotgun at my parents wedding ( in the UK so guns are harder to get) because my mum was pregnant with me. My grandad paid for it and used it to bring a lot of his work contacts to so he could do some networking at the same time.