My friend who "died" during his surgery said he went to the afterlife and that all his friends are going to Heaven "except one".

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Are you a jew?

 

[StlakerFatti]

it's a scam! you're probably the richest friend and they will ask you for money once you're there

 

[Safka's Enticer]

Like, rape her or don't rape her?

Rape him for having a gay ass dream about you

 

[Safka's Enticer]

What if it was spergatory and we all ended up there

I've been here 7 years

 

[Dog Eater]

This is like cold reading level retarded. Oh wow Dougie's not going to heaven?! WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK, REALLY NEEDED AFUCKIN ANGEL TO FIGURE THAT OUT DID WE?

 

[PickleRickle]

Just making sure I have the timeline of events correct: You masturbated to Jenna Ortega, and then hours later an angel told your friend you were doomed to spend eternity in hell.

lol shut up, Jenna.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

This isn't me trying to do the sopranos bit, the entire message I've received from his girlfriend. I got this 2 days ago because it was in message requests and I never noticed:

hey this is [DUMB WHORE] michael has had his surgery can you please come visit as soon as you can. he saw visions of the afterlife when he was under as his heart stopped two times and was legally dead for a total of 40 seconds and is ok now. he saw an angel and he asked if all his friends would join him in heaven and the angel said all friends except for you, he said he named that you would be going somewhere else that ill let michael explain more because i know this is heavy and personal. can you please come to as soon as you can.

Maybe you're just going to the Only Afterlife That Really Rocks

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Are you a jew?

If so he might want to consider visiting

 

[NoBacon]

He said the friend mentioned by "an angel" was me. This is all second hand info from his girlfriend, so I assume the story is less gay coming from him. She says he wants me to visit him asap.

Is it a waste of time to visit this fruity fag in the hospital to hear his dumb coma dream?

It’s never too late to change

 

[johnnynoname]

Irl friends is legit science fiction

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

What if it was spergatory and we all ended up there

Not much of a "what if", tbphwy.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

If he legally died then ask him if you can have some of his shit.

 

[nasty twp]

If he legally died then ask him if you can have some of his shit.

Friend might want to be buried with his worldly goods & riches, delusionally believing he has to make ready for a sure admittance into Valhalla.

 

[:sumaturry:]

Not much of a "what if", tbphwy.

Would you rather go to spergatory or be raped by demons for eternity :stavlaugh:

 

[TomFromNawlins]

3 o’clock

 

[Turk February]

Just burst into the room and tell them "keep your fucking mouth shut, not a word to anyone, no one can know the things I've done" then stare him in the eyes for a few seconds and say "I don't want to but I can do them again, so forget what you've heard"

 

[LiberalPussy]

Are you a jew?

 

[Oogie Farts 1488]

go to the hospital gift shop before you see him and buy him a $60 stuffed animal

 

[Pussymagnetpat]

He said the friend mentioned by "an angel" was me. This is all second hand info from his girlfriend, so I assume the story is less gay coming from him. She says he wants me to visit him asap.

Is it a waste of time to visit this fruity fag in the hospital to hear his dumb coma dream?

Angels have predestination? They're gods? What kind of god has others (his creation) know his plans before they happen? A weak one.

 

[Imager]

If I was on death's door and had a dream about a friend of mine, I think that'd be weird.

Tell him to start a family, @Professor Rape . He needs better people to care about.