Mama Raven to the rescue

[Clint Ruin]

We picked up on that, Pig

 

[guest]

The fuck. That shit never happened. God.

 

[Stetten's Long Thumbers]

He's not actually left handed. I mean he writes with his left hand but probably forced himself to do it when he was young because the real left handed kid in his class got special attention, and we know this is exactly the kind of shit Pat would do.

He uses his right hand for literally everything else.

Pathetic Pat pretends to be Left Handed

In every picture of him holding a book, he's using his right hand. I can't find the naked plant picture but I know he's doing it there as well. The mirror selfie shows a reflection of him taking the photo with his right hand. Microphone during standup sets Remember this podcast? Look...

new.onaforums.net

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Another lie, I’m left handed and only a couple years younger than Pat and that shit went out the window years ago of left handed being “the devils hand” for writing. My aunt had this done when she was a young girl in school but she’s in her 70s. Funny how piggy thinks he should be writing for teen Vogue yet seems to be in his mid 60s in relation to society and pop culture. What’s next? Walked 15 miles to school in the snow? Didn’t have seat belts in cars until your 20s? Bought 8 tracks?

 

[NoBacon]

This kind of happened to me, they didn’t smack my hand, and Pat is obviously lying about that - but my first instinct was to use my left hand, but I was writing like a retard and smudging all the ink and stuff, so they encouraged me to use my right hand.

if he’s not lying, which I think he is since he does everything right handed, then they probably just did the same thing. Some things I instinctively use my left hand for, others my right. Pat uses his right for everything, he was maybe being an autistic rebel cunt and using his left even though he wasn’t left handed

 

[Meownaw]

He lies about the dumbest shit.

 

[based and white pilled]

Wow Patrick, you really are the most interesting piggy in the world!

-Damian

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Another lie, I’m left handed and only a couple years younger than Pat and that shit went out the window years ago of left handed being “the devils hand” for writing. My aunt had this done when she was a young girl in school but she’s in her 70s. Funny how piggy thinks he should be writing for teen Vogue yet seems to be in his mid 60s in relation to society and pop culture. What’s next? Walked 15 miles to school in the snow? Didn’t have seat belts in cars until your 20s? Bought 8 tracks?

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Another lie, I’m left handed and only a couple years younger than Pat and that shit went out the window years ago of left handed being “the devils hand” for writing. My aunt had this done when she was a young girl in school but she’s in her 70s. Funny how piggy thinks he should be writing for teen Vogue yet seems to be in his mid 60s in relation to society and pop culture. What’s next? Walked 15 miles to school in the snow? Didn’t have seat belts in cars until your 20s? Bought 8 tracks?

My ex had it happen to her going to catholic school in the 70's in a civilized area

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

My ex had it happen to her going to catholic school in the 70's in a civilized area

It was def more a catholic school thing but I highly doubt Pat went to a Catholic school - even in the mid 80s. Probably heard about it (since those schools were notorious for smacking kids with rulers) but he went to public school and needed to sound cool / tough to internet strangers so this lie was born. Pat was the kid in school that ate glue.

 

[Jenna]

I'm gonna stop calling her Mama Raven. It's clear he doesn't absorb anything we say about mommy, he just sees the nickname and has to snap back "that's not her name, stlaker". That game is fun and all, but meh, I want to talk about Mama Judith. Who would settle any playground argument by taking the side of Mama Judith's special boy, even when he was fibbing. Mama Judith knew it was always the teacher's fault, never her perfect angel. Mama Judith will be dead soon, having never cooked her biological granddaughter her famous mac & cheese.

 

[RedGlareRecipient]

It was def more a catholic school thing but I highly doubt Pat went to a Catholic school - even in the mid 80s. Probably heard about it (since those schools were notorious for smacking kids with rulers) but he went to public school and needed to sound cool / tough to internet strangers so this lie was born. Pat was the kid in school that ate glue.

Actually he was the kid in school that ate cum

 

[Meownaw]

I'm gonna stop calling her Mama Raven. It's clear he doesn't absorb anything we say about mommy, he just sees the nickname and has to snap back "that's not her name, atalker". That game is fun and all, but meh, I want to talk about Mama Judith. Who would settle any playground argument by taking the side of Mama Judith's special boy, even when he was fibbing. Mama Judith knew it was always the teacher's fault, never her perfect angel. Mama Judith will be dead soon, having never cooked her biological granddaughter her famous mac & cheese.

I wouldn't be shocked if calling her Raven isn't what's doing it but the Mama part is. No child her name is not literally Mama. What an exhausting fuck he is.

 

[FurBurger]

Was he slapped because he was writing with his left hand, or because he was jacking it with his right?

 

[guest]

Actually he was the kid in school that ate cum

Still is, just not in school any more.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

He probably held the pencil with his entire clenched fist

 

[DominusOdium]

Another lie. Nobody was beating the left handed kids in Wisconsin in 1980whatever. He saw this in a movie and once again is telling a Tall Tomlinson Tale.

His parents should've lefty him at the fire station and drovey away.

 

[Stent]

Mama and Papa to the rescue once more. There's no end to the tales of his entire family standing up against regressive values that haven't existed since the steam engine.

 

[Phish]

My mom got her hand hit with rulers at cathloic school. Shes like 68 i think. Pats a fat liar.

 

[Chive Turkey]

And shortly afterwards he went to work in the coal mine at the ripe old age of 8.