Jean Claude Van Damme

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Why the fuck is he always playing an American? Like it's always explicitly stated that he is American, has American siblings, etc.

He has a thick as fuck French accent for fuck's sake. It actually pisses me off.

And why do all of his movies have a stupid fucking bar fight scene that is a retard who's never been in a fight's idea of a bar fight? Where everyone keeps running up to fuck with the one guy that is knocking people out with head kicks, snapping limbs and slamming people's heads into the pool table. And they all run in with their fists cocked all the way back like 10 steps away. Someone gets a pool cue broken over their back. Someone pulls a switchblade.

In fact, it's not just the bar fight scenes. The motherfucker has starred in the exact same movie like ten times. I recently saw Kickboxer and The Quest and they're literally just Bloodsport. There's a kumite in every fucking movie.

My dad always said JCVD was a dancing, splits-doing, dick-punching, Belgian queer and he was right. I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!

 

[johnnynoname]

I swear that young Frank Dux in the flashback scenes in "Bloodsport" was a literal mongoloid

 

[Turd Glider]

Death warrant is kinda different. Sandman would fuck u up

 

[RobertMewler]

Why the fuck is he always playing an American? Like it's always explicitly stated that he is American, has American siblings, etc.

He has a thick as fuck French accent for fuck's sake. It actually pisses me off.

And why do all of his movies have a stupid fucking bar fight scene that is a retard who's never been in a fight's idea of a bar fight? Where everyone keeps running up to fuck with the one guy that is knocking people out with head kicks, snapping limbs and slamming people's heads into the pool table. And they all run in with their fists cocked all the way back like 10 steps away. Someone gets a pool cue broken over their back. Someone pulls a switchblade.

In fact, it's not just the bar fight scenes. The motherfucker has starred in the exact same movie like ten times. I recently saw Kickboxer and The Quest and they're literally just Bloodsport. There's a kumite in every fucking movie.

My dad always said JCVD was a dancing, splits-doing, dick-punching, Belgian queer and he was right. I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!

I don't recall any bar fight scene in Universal Soldier, child.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Only van damme film I've ever seen was 'legionnaire' but i remember it being PFG

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I don't recall any bar fight scene in Universal Soldier, child.

It's a diner, but it's the same shit.

 

[johnnynoname]

Related:
I thought the show “Life Goes On” was a show about a polish foreign exchange student who came to the US

 

[johnnynoname]

I also thought all animals were “cats” until the age of 8

 

[:sumaturry:]

Universal soldier goes hard, childs

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

I also thought all animals were “cats” until the age of 8

You stupid asshole

 

[nasty twp]

JCVD plays a Francophone Cajun in Hard Target.

His character puts a grenade down a man's trousers at one point, pfg.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

It's a diner, but it's the same shit.

He steals from a small business and beats the fuck out of the owner and a bunch of good samaritans for having the audacity to tell the cocksucker to pay for his food.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

I also thought all animals were “cats” until the age of 8

Thinking all animals are "kitties" is an award winning bit of Crow T. Robot.

 

[johnnynoname]

You stupid asshole

I CANT STOP LAWFING

 

[Guest]

 

[johnnynoname]

Thinking all animals are "kitties" is an award winning bit of Crow T. Robot.

it was my bit, yo

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

It's a diner, but it's the same shit.

Another thing, have you ever been to a diner with a pool table? I haven't.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Another thing, have you ever been to a diner with a pool? I haven't.

Me neither.

 

[Jen_Tomlinson]

It's a diner, but it's the same shit.

@RobertMewler just butt fucked you

 

[Jesse Ventura]