I'm gonna fucking snap

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Ontario, Canada

Was he an injun? I heard they're worse than shittums there.

 

[Carl Winslow]

I work, not live, in a small ass town. Every summer I see tweekers and meth heads (or are those the same pretty much) hanging around back roads by houses that go for like a million. Cops won't left a finger. But no shit; some hippy (more than likly a fag) was playing guitar on the bench in front of the post office... 3 fucking cop cars pulled up!

 

[guest]

Was he an injun? I heard they're worse than shittums there.

They're usually (but not always) just drunken stumblebums who hang out near a body of water punching each other in the head over petty bullshit.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

I got a crazy guy resident of my neighborhood who wanders around all day and has these aggressive conversations with his reflection in parked car windows. Sometimes he harasses young girls too. He's been arrested a few times for FELONY VERBAL HARASSMENT but he's always back a few weeks later.

I don't know if I'd fight him cause he's definitely out of his mind but every time I see him coming along swearing at invisible people, I think about shoving him into traffic.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

They're usually (but not always) just drunken stumblebums who hang out near a body of water punching each other in the head over petty bullshit.

That's a perfect description.

And, yeah, not always... Usually, but I know a bunch who are cool. I've even fought a few of the ones I'll always think are cool though. There was some real deep cowboys vs injuns shit going on around here when I was in highschool.

 

[guest]

That's a perfect description.

And, yeah, not always... Usually, but I know a bunch who are cool. I've even fought a few of the ones I'll always think are cool though. There was some real deep cowboys vs injuns shit going on around here when I was in highschool.

Same thing out here in BC, buddy. There's good ones and the bad ones are pretty predictable lushes who won't trouble you if you're not drinking with them. Even if they start getting a bit uppity you can appeal to their sense of respect and they'll generally fuck off.

I never got in the middle of the whites vs injuns shit, just hung out on the sidelines and smoked dope while they fought. They all left me alone about it so it worked fine for me.

 

[Stent]

Wuh-wuh-whaddamadda, baby doll? I shit in yooour lettermabox and run away again today!

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Wuh-wuh-whaddamadda, baby doll? I shit in yooour lettermabox and run away again today!

I reported this. You cut me, Stentam Libbnor. You cut me deep.

 

[Stent]

I reported this. You cut me, Stentam Libbnor. You cut me deep.

Huh-here a recipe for you, Abamaham. My poo poo muh-mixed with your lectricity bill and a tire coupon. Mah ha ha ha! Mmmm not bad!

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Huh-here a recipe for you, Abamaham. My poo poo muh-mixed with your lectricity bill and a tire coupon. Mah ha ha ha! Mmmm not bad!

I hate you.

I love you.

But I HATE YOU!!!

I'm sorry, baby. Come back.

I love you.










BUT I HATE YOU!!

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I love you, Stent Feznor. You make my fawkin motor run, bud.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Stent, I will kill every chicken I lay eyes on in your honor. That's what you wanted with the chicken bit, right? It's weirdly easy to just pull their heads off. I'm against pasture pet murder, but chickens basically ask for it with their stupid hollow bone structure.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'm gonna kill myself and leave a detailed note of how it's all Chef Adam's fault. That fucking fat nigger.

 

[Chive Turkey]

Just fire one off into the air

I'm pretty sure "warning shots" aren't a valid legal defense in any jurisdiction when the cops come asking why you've been firing off rounds in a residential neighborhood. Even just brandishing or pointing a gun can get you in way more trouble than whatever degenerate's pissed you off enough to use it. The law doesn't care much for people pulling off shit that works in movies.

 

[PogromStallone]

I like rain :)

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I like rain :)

Alllll I can say is that my life is pretty gay...

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Alllll I can say is that my life is pretty gay...

What was that thing about fucking butts and Dan Marino? I like the cut of your song parody jib.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

What was that thing about fucking butts and Dan Marino? I like the cut of your song parody jib.

Fuckin on butts like I'm Dan Marino, you must be some kind of Filipino.

You have to sing it in a Tom Petty voice sort of to the tune of the verses of "You Don't Know How It Feels"

My buddy caught me singing that and doing an Axl Rose dance while I was working one time. It was extremely embarrassing.

I also just do "DAN MARINO! FILIPINO! Throw your hands up at me!" Like the Destiny's Child song. Turns out Dan Marino and Filipino rhyme real good.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

FUCK YOU! HAVE YOU EVER ATTEMPTED TO DIG A HOLE TO CHINA AS A CHILD BECAUSE YOU GOT THE IDEA FROM THE SHITTY MOVIE "MAGIC IN THE WATER"? YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO GRIND THE EDGES OF YOUR SHOVEL SO YOU CAN JUST CUT THROUGH ROOTS, STUPID! FUCK YOU! YOU'VE NEVER DUG A HOLE TO CHINA IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE, VANCE!

Let's say you dig a hole all the way to China, yeah? And let's also say you're impervious to the heat at the center of the earth. Would the force of gravity at the earth's core keep you from climbing beyond the halfway point?

I never took physics, so I'm a real Tomlinson when it comes to science.

 

[guest]

Let's say you dig a hole all the way to China, yeah? And let's also say you're impervious to the heat at the center of the earth. Would the force of gravity at the earth's core keep you from climbing beyond the halfway point?

I never took physics, so I'm a real Tomlinson when it comes to science.

I asked my teacher about that in third grade and he never got back to me. Fucking ssssssssscumbag.