• Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it.

    Do not post IRL pranks here without including the source

I just got my taxes done by a midget.

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Return to me, Stenton.
‎
‎
My parents had a chair upholstered by a midget when I was a little kid. He did a great job. They took me to the shop with them the one time and I'd never seen a midget. Before we got out of the cat they were like "He's little, like your size. Don't stare at him or say anything rude." And I was instantly jaw-dropped just staring at this guy like "what the fuck." The rest of the day I was just asking questions about what the fuck that guy was. I remember my parents saying he had a regular sized wife and a regular sized kid and I wouldn't accept that. The thought was basically like "There's no way a human would mate with that."
 
Jesse Ventura

Jesse Ventura

Access to the debates
‎
‎
When I was in Central America my boss pity-hired this midget. The guy had some other problems also like bowel issues and what not. He would be tasked with going to pick up lunch orders or cleaning and whatever.

One day the office manager asked him to move this small shelf. It was two layers and maybe 4 feet tall, not a heavy job but still funny to ask the midget to do it.

So he does it but has to strain and then he shat himself. He didn’t tell anybody but he started to stink and everyone at the office was like wtf is that. Eventually some kind-hearted Tico ladies who worked there found out it was him and cleaned him up in the bathroom. He was in the sink like a little baby.

Then he’d show up to work all smelly because he lived in a shack made of corrugated metal with a dirt floor. He had to get water from a polluted river and boil it just to have a shower.

The girls in the office asked me and my boss to go get him some new clothes and soap and stuff because his stench every day was too much for them.

So we take him and a couple others to the mall to find him some clothes. I wasn’t thinking too hard about it so I started looking in the adult section and then realized I’m all alone. I look around where everyone went and there they are in the children’s section sizing him up for pants. Even so the pants had to be hemmed and shit just to fit him.

Poor lil fella.
 
Mitch Weaver

Mitch Weaver

Wave bye bye, staIker
‎
‎
Wild said:
I don't have anything against midgets, but just imagining the slight reddening on his oversized forehead as you patronize him is fucking hilarious.
Click to expand...
The fawkin hands are what got me. He doesn’t have those weird flipper claws like that Dutch poster here. They were actually meaty as fuck, giving me a complex.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top