I decided to be kind to a stranger today. Big mistake.

DMAN

SUFFERING FROM DMANIA, PRONE TO DMANIC EPISODES
You ever hold the door for an old guy and he gives you shit for making him rush? Like, no, you old prick. I would've stood there all fucking day holding the door for you and not given a shit and now you're lucky I don't slam it shut as soon as you get there.

The DMAN remembers when he was real young, getting into multiple spats with The DMOM after The DMAN did this a few times to old men who he held the door for. Whenever they didn't say "thank you" by the time they stepped to the threshold, or if they made some dumbass smartass comment, The DMAN would just drop the door right on them. And these were heavy 90s mall doors, before every single store had the spinny revolving doors (which were probably invented due to ungrateful old cunts who make door-holding unbareable)
 
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