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I decided to be kind to a stranger today. Big mistake.

FrogmanKurlan

Kill a commie for mommy, awright
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10,611
Around here it’s a common curiosity to hold a door open for anyone if you beat them to the door. But I’ve had it happen a couple times recently where I’ll be going into a gas station and I’ll hold the door open for someone else going in and the cocksuckers end up taking 10 minutes to buy a fucking lottery ticket. I fucking hate lottery buying retards.
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
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123,877
Around here it’s a common curiosity to hold a door open for anyone if you beat them to the door. But I’ve had it happen a couple times recently where I’ll be going into a gas station and I’ll hold the door open for someone else going in and the cocksuckers end up taking 10 minutes to buy a fucking lottery ticket. I fucking hate lottery buying retards.
You ever hold the door for an old guy and he gives you shit for making him rush? Like, no, you old prick. I would've stood there all fucking day holding the door for you and not given a shit and now you're lucky I don't slam it shut as soon as you get there.
 

FrogmanKurlan

Kill a commie for mommy, awright
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10,611
You ever hold the door for an old guy and he gives you shit for making him rush? Like, no, you old prick. I would've stood there all fucking day holding the door for you and not given a shit and now you're lucky I don't slam it shut as soon as you get there.
Nah for the old timers I usually just put my hand on the door handle and wait for them to get closer before I open the door. Seems to not make them feel rushed but what the fuck do I know
 

FatPatsBaps

Charming, funny, and witty, atalker.
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16,366
I lied and said I don't work out to shut him down. "Really? You've got the teardrop muscle shape there. You seriously don't work out?" but I kept saying no, I haven't set foot in a gym.

You should've pointed at his face and said "you got a teardrop muscle there", and then punch him in eye and run away.
 

Professor Rape

You're not stupid. You're not an idiot.
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17,459
Around here it’s a common curiosity to hold a door open for anyone if you beat them to the door. But I’ve had it happen a couple times recently where I’ll be going into a gas station and I’ll hold the door open for someone else going in and the cocksuckers end up taking 10 minutes to buy a fucking lottery ticket. I fucking hate lottery buying retards.
You ever hold the door for an old guy and he gives you shit for making him rush? Like, no, you old prick. I would've stood there all fucking day holding the door for you and not given a shit and now you're lucky I don't slam it shut as soon as you get there.
Oh shit, funny you mention this
I was walking out of a building that's always busy with people walking in and out, so it's common courtesy to hold the door open for the next person to walk out of, so the door doesn't slam in their face.

So I held it expecting the next person to hold it for the next person, but he just walked on through like I was the fucking door man. Didn't even say thanks.

I've never wanted to fucking glass someone more in my entire fucking life.

Since then I don't hold the door for anyone, I just let it slam in their face.
 

Mick_Mickerson

Which way?! Medium or well done?
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17,394
One time I was walking with my dealer and we passed a homeless guy, he's like "Anything you can spare, I need money for food." My dealer was like "No but do you want some weed?" And the homeless guy was like "Hell yeah" and pulled out a big stack of bills. Another time, a friend of a friend needed a COVID vaccine card so he could travel, but didn't want to get the myocarditis shot, so he was approaching random homeless people offering to pay buy theirs. One guy was like "Yeah I got the shots. Want mine?" So he led this friend of mine to a luxury apartment complex where he was living and sold his own the spot. Homeless people make bank. Even if only 1/100 people are "feeling generous, here's a Tubman", they make a fuck load of money standing at a busy intersection. It's not uncommon for these people to make 6 figures
citation needed
 

BigSexyDaddy123

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1,923
I had some people turn up to beg for charity at the door a while back. They were discussing tricks of how to convince people to give money over the whole way of them walking up to the front door. I overheard them because I was in the garage and they didn't notice. I told them to fuck off.

Charities are fucking sleazy as shit these days. Gone are the nice people trying to help out. Now it's young kids getting paid to do sales tactics on unsuspecting old people.
I remember those charity begger tried to pitch me something and I asked if I can just donate 10 instead and she said no. They just want to get your bank account/credit card and tie you up with some bull shit for years to come these days. The whatever guy was pretty straightforward if anything
I work in sales (lol) and my first entry level position was doing exactly this.

They sell you a monthly subscription instead of accepting lump sums, literally only because they know most people are too lazy or absent-minded to cancel it in the future.

Think of it this way: if you're collecting money for charity, an extremely generous person might donate a 50$ lump sum. And that's if they're really generous. However, a lot of people will agree to pay 7$ a month to sponsor a kid in Senegal or whatever the fuck, and then 2 months later completely forgot they even signed up for it. Then 5 years later they notice on a bank statement they're still subscribed and cancel the payments, only to realize over a 5 year period they donated 400$+ cumulatively.
 

FrogmanKurlan

Kill a commie for mommy, awright
Forum Clout
10,611
Oh shit, funny you mention this
I was walking out of a building that's always busy with people walking in and out, so it's common courtesy to hold the door open for the next person to walk out of, so the door doesn't slam in their face.

So I held it expecting the next person to hold it for the next person, but he just walked on through like I was the fucking door man. Didn't even say thanks.

I've never wanted to fucking glass someone more in my entire fucking life.

Since then I don't hold the door for anyone, I just let it slam in their face.
That’s crazy dude
 

BUBBLER

Janny of Ribbers
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113,919
Around here it’s a common curiosity to hold a door open for anyone if you beat them to the door. But I’ve had it happen a couple times recently where I’ll be going into a gas station and I’ll hold the door open for someone else going in and the cocksuckers end up taking 10 minutes to buy a fucking lottery ticket. I fucking hate lottery buying retards.
I like holding the door way too fucking far out where the person feels like they have to run
 

Stent

🙏 the reason for the season 🙏
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33,120
I work in sales (lol) and my first entry level position was doing exactly this.

They sell you a monthly subscription instead of accepting lump sums, literally only because they know most people are too lazy or absent-minded to cancel it in the future.

Think of it this way: if you're collecting money for charity, an extremely generous person might donate a 50$ lump sum. And that's if they're really generous. However, a lot of people will agree to pay 7$ a month to sponsor a kid in Senegal or whatever the fuck, and then 2 months later completely forgot they even signed up for it. Then 5 years later they notice on a bank statement they're still subscribed and cancel the payments, only to realize over a 5 year period they donated 400$+ cumulatively.
A friend of mine (imaginary) tried to get me to work in sales. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I think he's at least somewhat of a peesa gahhbige (Dan, reference) for being in sales. He was in b2b sales so I don't spit in his face. Making the Panera bread bowls is honest work I'm proud of it.
 

Kinderman

I’m not a playa, I just rape a lot
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10,653
Nah for the old timers I usually just put my hand on the door handle and wait for them to get closer before I open the door. Seems to not make them feel rushed but what the fuck do I know
I take a little different approach. I open the door just enough for me to slip through, then hold it closed right in the old fucker’s face. Sometimes I’ll yell out stuff like “Life Alert is for faggots” and “fuck the AARP.”
 

Professor Rape

You're not stupid. You're not an idiot.
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17,459
A friend of mine (imaginary) tried to get me to work in sales. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I think he's at least somewhat of a peesa gahhbige (Dan, reference) for being in sales. He was in b2b sales so I don't spit in his face. Making the Panera bread bowls is honest work I'm proud of it.
When your friend tried to get you to work at his sales job, did it sound like he was pitching the job to you, meaning you knew the work would be fucking shit?

Because I've had a guy like that. "You'll make so much money, bro! And there's heaps of ladies working there!" Will I, is there? You're a fucking salesman dude, I'm not trusting you.
 
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