Horrible shit you did at work

[Dog Eater]

When I was in my 20s I worked at a place where a supervisor would spend hours going through CCTV footages instead of working in order to catch others doing the wrong thing even if no one had complained.

After he got a co-worker fired like this me and another employee went to his desk one afternoon. He would keep many personal items there. We put every single thing he had between our buttocks. I personally flossed my taint with his tie. The other guy put his PC mouse in his sweaty crotch. Then we put everything neatly back.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Worked retail for a bit in a predominantly black area, and I'd say subtly racist shit to the customers all the time.
Nice old black lady: "Do you sell remote controls?"
"Absolutely, ma'am! Right this way, we have them in spades!" then ushering her to the endcap before she could react.
I also shouted "HAPPY HORIDAYS!" to a group of Japanese tourists. They smiled and waved back.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

my first job was delivery for a mexican restaurant, I'd get ripped and open people's steak burrito bowls and pick little pieces out on my way to the delivery

 

[Consensual Rapist]

When I was in my 20’s, I worked at this go kart place where they had karts, mini golf, and a batting cage. I used to slang the batting tokens on the side, selling 10 for 10 bucks, and so forth. After work, my friends and I would sneak in and get high and drunk on the mini golf course.
I would also get high and drunk while working, as it was a shit job.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

used to be a 'sandwich artist' at Subway during college. Once I pushed a dead fly into the tuna salad, and another time I used a knife that had been used on meat to cut a vegan's sandwich (you know that queer was asking for it). This was on Broad St. in Richmond, so there was an endless stream of general college homos, nigs, and junkies

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

Worked retail for a bit in a predominantly black area, and I'd say subtly racist shit to the customers all the time.
Nice old black lady: "Do you sell remote controls?"
"Absolutely, ma'am! Right this way, we have them in spades!" then ushering her to the endcap before she could react.
I also shouted "HAPPY HORIDAYS!" to a group of Japanese tourists. They smiled and waved back.

I was an assistant manager at a decent restaurant when I was younger the manager and I were at the front desk when an Asian couple walked in and he got in the mic and made ching chong noises. I was flabbergasted, I had to run into the kitchen, I was laughing so hard. This was a man in his late 40s in a suit in a respectable restaurant! He was a cool dude but he never did anything like this before.
Come to find out, he'd get drunk and fuck dudes on the sly and was dying of aids so he didn't give a fuck.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

I would sometimes jerk off in a navy guard shack and not clean it up, just shoot it on the floor and walls

 

[guest]

Spent close to an hour talking a Jamaican chick into blowing me at a temp gig in some halfway house in Kilburn. My dad stopped by out of the blue about 15 minutes after I'd shot a load down her throat to drop off some leftovers for dinner. An awkward 5 minutes.

Nothing else until a few years later when I developed a taste for firing traders who couldn't survive the first year hump. Felt like shit after the first couple, but got used to it/started almost enjoying it pretty soon after. Extricated myself from it before becoming a total POS.

 

[captain_kamala]

People used to call and ask for copies of their files and I'd say that's 75 cents per page write a check payable to me. Ended up being like $100 bucks a pop
Also I would smoke in the stairwell

 

[Soundboard Fez]

I would sometimes jerk off in a navy guard shack and not clean it up, just shoot it on the floor and walls

Just shoot it on the floors and walls, yeah right.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

When I was really young, I had a civil service job, working for a county road department. It was mostly retarded, dull, monotonous work, but we mostly drank, did drugs, and goofed off all day. One day in the summer, they sent five of us out in one of those crew cab pickup trucks, presumably to cut weeds or something. We all decided to head to the Jersey shore for the day instead. We had this one old-timer with us, who'd been there for almost thirty years and was like a few months from retirement. He was totally shitting his pants over getting in trouble, but we ignored him and went anyway. We all got hammered at a bar, then drove back to our area. One of the guys was banging this fat whore who worked at a local liquor store, so he went in there, took her in the back, and fucked her while we looted the place. Then we went to a nearby park and drank some more. We were just staggering at the end of the day. One guy was so wasted the foreman tried to prevent him from driving home, and the dude tried to run him over, hopped a curb, and ruined his new truck.

 

[Cuphead]

One time when I was waiting tables I dropped somebody's shrimp in the sink. Nobody else saw so I just threw back on a plate and served it.

 

[Phish]

One time when I was waiting tables I dropped somebody's shrimp in the sink. Nobody else saw so I just threw back on a plate and served it.

Ive seen things in the kitchen im too ashamed to even write

 

[guest]

Ive seen things in the kitchen im too ashamed to even write

Does it involve shit and cum?

 

[Phish]

Does it involve shit and cum?

No cum

 

[guest]

No cum

 

[Soundboard Fez]

No cum

Better call my wife Flavia, she knows how to take care of that shit, pun intended.

I'll send you her number in a dm.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

Better call my wife Flavia, she knows how to take care of that shit, pun intended.

I'll send you her number in a dm.

that's some real second rate danposting, brother

 

[Brooke Shields]

My first job in high school was dishwashing and one night the big gay waiter came back and yelled at me for there being some hardened shit on a fork his customer had, as if:
1. I fucking washed the thing when i came in at 4pm
2. dishwashers do anything other than throw it on a tray and put it in a machine
3. the dishwashes put together the little silverware napkins for anyone(quality control faggot, I know it's servers who put those together)


In summary, the only time I got yelled as if it was horrible was at in the shittiest job I ever had by a giant gay guy for something he might've done

 

[DiarrheaDick]

I fucked my then boss's girlfriend a couple times in his work area when he was at the business's other location. I was also doing a lot of pills and coke with one of the other guys who worked there after he caught me taking shots of Captain Morgan in my work area.