- Forum Clout
- 81,193
I don’t really have anything I can think of so I’ll hang up and listen.
-
Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it. Please report violators.
DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:
[email protected]
Crazy shit your parents told you when you were young.
- Thread starter BonnieMcFarlaneMe2
- Start date
- Forum Clout
- 53,901
We had a black box that would descramble channels.
I was told if I used it the cable company would zap the line and make my TV explode.
- Forum Clout
- 36,185
Humblebrag
- Forum Clout
- 81,193
So your parents were stealing HBO and they didn’t want you to find the Skinemax channel? Sorry, this is a little bit before my time.
- Forum Clout
- 53,901
You could get the Playboy channel and Spice network with the box.
They weren't concerned at all if I watched softcore porn, but the hardcore shit isn't supposed to be viewed by a 9 year old.
- Forum Clout
- 81,193
So what was the point of them having the box? Presumably your parents weren’t watching hardcore porn in the living room.
- Forum Clout
- 61,940
I remember my parents telling me that if I fell asleep with my tv on (it was one of those old ones that had that terrible bright blue screen when you weren’t playing a video), that I’d go blind from the light
- Forum Clout
- 53,901
My dad didn't want to pay for HBO and PPV boxing events. Black box fixed all that, but naturally included porn channels.
- Forum Clout
- 19,252
My dad told me to make a childhood money pact with my brother and to treat it like a real thing if he became rich.
G
guest
Guest
my mom used to make me do the rosary prayer ( a bunch of hail marys and our fathers) every sunday night all through elementary and middle school and think about the sins I committed during the week bcz i wouldnt go to heaven if i didnt
When I was 16 my girlfriend missed her period and was like a month late.
After she told me , I was sitting in front of my ps2 and saying the rosary prayer for hours in the basement in between playing tom clancy rainbow six and vividly remember saying "god please just do this one thing for me I will never ask for anything else please god"
Turns out she was pregnant, I had to scrounge up my $400 or so in savings from umpiring little league and give it to her sister that was in college, who secretly took my gf to planned parenthood and got an abortion pill.
I haven't been to church since
When I was 16 my girlfriend missed her period and was like a month late.
After she told me , I was sitting in front of my ps2 and saying the rosary prayer for hours in the basement in between playing tom clancy rainbow six and vividly remember saying "god please just do this one thing for me I will never ask for anything else please god"
Turns out she was pregnant, I had to scrounge up my $400 or so in savings from umpiring little league and give it to her sister that was in college, who secretly took my gf to planned parenthood and got an abortion pill.
I haven't been to church since
Last edited by a moderator:
- Forum Clout
- 11,925
Sometimes the idiots win and you just have to swallow your pride
- Forum Clout
- 5,608
My dad’s Jamaican coworker had a black box and would invite us over for all of the WWF ppvs.
- Forum Clout
- 53,901
They were awesome.
I used to go over friends houses and secretly laugh to myself in my head at the fact they didn't have channels beyond basic cable.
Even non porn shit like NESN (to watch the Bruins and Red Sox) was premium up until 2000 or so.
I remember watching scrambled hockey games over friends houses knowing full well I had the channel at home because of the black box and keeping it to myself because my dad told me not to tell anyone about it even though the city was full of illegal immigrants and other criminals.
- Forum Clout
- 45,757
My muddy told me my penis was bigger than my father’s and tasted better, funster.
- Forum Clout
- 19,337
I remember being told that if I went to bed with wet hair I would get lockjaw.
- Forum Clout
- 5,608
My parents were very strict, and they even considered buying a black box for the WWF and movies, but the unscrambled porn aspect of it was why they didn’t. So I was stuck watching scrambled porn as a teenager. My residence for my first year of university was at a hotel, and if you hooked up a vcr to your tv, somehow you could watch all the ppv channels. Watching the same 4 pornos on loop for a month lost its charm pretty quick though.
- Forum Clout
- 31,403
My grandparents used to make me leave the room so they could watch porn on opposite sides of the living room. I just remembered this. Also caught them smoking weed once.
- Forum Clout
- 81,193
That’s fucked up dude, and that’s coming from someone that got my grandpa a bunch of lap dances at a bachelor party once.
G
guest
Guest
I used to hate blowing my nose for some reason when I was a young kid. I'd just honk back the snot and swallow it, much to my mother's dismay.
One day she evidently had enough. She told me that if I did it, I might end up like a friend of hers' son. He had always done the same, she told me, and had started to get very bad headaches.
His mother had taken him to the doctor, who had apparently decided to skip the x-rays and CT scans I hadn't heard of yet (I was probably 5 or 6) and had gone straight to the sawing the top of the skull off stage.
The boy had sat there, my dear mother told me, wide awake and with the top of his head missing "like a soft boiled egg before you dip toast soldiers in" as the doctor announced to his mother that the headaches were caused by a brain encased in the snot he'd been swallowing.
I was clearly too stupid or gullible to realise that swallowed stuff goes down not up (or just too young and trusting) but I started to blow my nose after that.
One day she evidently had enough. She told me that if I did it, I might end up like a friend of hers' son. He had always done the same, she told me, and had started to get very bad headaches.
His mother had taken him to the doctor, who had apparently decided to skip the x-rays and CT scans I hadn't heard of yet (I was probably 5 or 6) and had gone straight to the sawing the top of the skull off stage.
The boy had sat there, my dear mother told me, wide awake and with the top of his head missing "like a soft boiled egg before you dip toast soldiers in" as the doctor announced to his mother that the headaches were caused by a brain encased in the snot he'd been swallowing.
I was clearly too stupid or gullible to realise that swallowed stuff goes down not up (or just too young and trusting) but I started to blow my nose after that.
- Forum Clout
- 31,403
Yeah I guess I buried that one. My grandfather was a retired MA state trooper and my grandmother was a barmaid at a strip club. My father's parents. It explains a lot. My mom told me my grandmother offered her coke the first time she met her.