BREAKING- Patrick has a new fart couch

[Mc.Faggot]

Hey Dan, why are you obsessed with Pat

Do you want to suck his penis a lil?

 

[DanFielding]

I’ve seen this couch in a shitload of porn.

 

[Clint Ruin]

Why does all of their furniture need to be oversized, blocking doors?

Having a tiny little half-house will do that

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

Did he bother bringing the old one to a hazardous waste collection facility or did he just dump it on the side of the road like the other white trash do?

Farewell long-suffering Fart Couch Sr., we hardly knew ye.

probably paid the delivery man to get rid of it

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Why does all of their furniture need to be oversized, blocking doors?

Because the doors are not blocked child, they are pocket doors. He only needs to turn to the side and shuffle through to squeak his gut past that gap.

Thing is the room is too small, what you don't see us the far wall is right off the edge of the image

 

[Cyberatorquer]

Behind this pocket door must be his home gym.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Behind this pocket door must be his home gym.

Nah it's in the attic. Behind the door is where the magic happens. The nigger fart insertion chamber

 

[Guyincognito]

I also like how it's blocking a door. That's classy.

It’s also partly blocking his AC. Cold air sinks. The back of his fart couch is going to be so comfy and cool

 

[Meownaw]

Nah it's in the attic. Behind the door is where the magic happens. The nigger fart insertion chamber

You really think Nikki would use a room with wooden doors? Sounds like an amateur move and this bitch is a fart connoisseur.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

You really think Nikki would use a room with wooden doors? Sounds like an amateur move and this bitch is a fart connoisseur.

Sure in an optimal word you have an airtight sound proof glass chamber in your basement but A) Pat is a poor worthless cunt and B) all the space in the basement has been taken up with his pepperoni grinding, stuffing, and aging equipment and they rely on those cured meats to survive the winter

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

The fact he has no central AC must mean they use space heaters to keep the house warm in the winter.

They truly live in the projects

 

[Joe_Cumia_Eats_HUMAN_SHIT]

How is it legal to buy all this shit when you have a lien on your house?

 

[guest]

Wait. Why the fuck did it take 9 months?

 

[guest]

Do you think he posts these purchases solely to taunt Quasi?

 

[Cyberatorquer]

You really think Nikki would use a room with wooden doors? Sounds like an amateur move and this bitch is a fart connoisseur.

The Nazis did too and it kept all the gasses in, child.

 

[Chive Turkey]

The Nazis did too and it kept all the gasses in, child.

Superior German engineering, little one. Just because the halfhovel was built back when Detroit was the pride of the Midwest doesn't mean age has been kind on it.

 

[Say “Cookie”]

Quasi's money is being well spent.
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EDIT: Link to tweet for Jerry Jen's reference: https://twitter.com/stealthygeek/status/1528384106274377730?s=20&t=Q5wIM8Ot8bdI8CvsD2q5pQ

Who would think to put a sectional in a room that small? Who buys a sectional without reclining seats? He bought the cheapest, ugliest couch that he could find. Probably at an Ashley Furniture outlet because he finds the dusty clearance furniture classy. Nice square footage, stupid.

 

[guest]

Wait. Why the fuck did it take 9 months?

We bought it on layaway, child.

 

[Chive Turkey]

We bought it on layaway, child.

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Paying for a couch in installments like it's a fucking car. Completely normal for a six figure author.

 

[guest]

We bought it on layaway, child.

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But thats like an 800 dollar couch? Whyd he go to Vegas and LA? The PPP has dried up.