Bert Kreischer movie "The Machine"

Queefer Sutherland

Fix me, Josh!
20-30? It doesn’t even have any actual big names! Mark Hamill will do anything to be in a movie so he doesn’t count. I remember that gay Bros was also made in that range and it didn’t have any big names. How does Jordan Peele do it for 5-10 and these turds take 20-30?

Peele is a serious filmmaker, like him or not. Kreischer outsourced everything. He's not even credited as a writer.
 

Lamont & Tonelli

Brevity is... wit.
Here he is getting trolled during a reddit AMA...


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Phish

Them boys would fly in the mud over my house
I might take one for the team and drink a bottle of Skrewball tonight and try to stream this pile of gahhbage. If it’s entertaining, ill eat my hat and retract my shit talking of this shit movie. If its as bad as i assume it is, ill be more than happy to continue slamming this pathetic excuse of a movie.
 
G

guest

Guest
I might take one for the team and drink a bottle of Skrewball tonight and try to stream this pile of gahhbage. If it’s entertaining, ill eat my hat and retract my shit talking of this shit movie. If its as bad as i assume it is, ill be more than happy to continue slamming this pathetic excuse of a movie.

Okay, let us know, we’ll be on the edge of our seats waiting for your take
 

Phish

Them boys would fly in the mud over my house
Okay, let us know, we’ll be on the edge of our seats waiting for your take
I know youve been waiting patiently. I got 3/4 the way through the bottle and clicked “play” and within the first 5 minutes i walked away from the laptop out of boredom and forgot it was even on and ended up making a huge fire in my backyard. Gonna stick with my original assumption that this movie sucks donkey dick
 

NoBacon

The gunslinger.

Cuphead

Formerly know as Fat Abbot
Is this good? I hope it’s not good.

I don’t know anything about him, I just hate him from looking at him. I hope his movie fails.
It's not. They were projecting 5 million, but after 850k on Thursday they were predicting it to overperform with 8-10 million. So basically a good chunk of the people who wanted to see it went opening night. It has a budget of around 25 million so it won't even break even during its theatrical run. Studio isn't getting their money back on this one, but I bet it will be a hit on Netflix.
 
It's not. They were projecting 5 million, but after 850k on Thursday they were predicting it to overperform with 8-10 million. So basically a good chunk of the people who wanted to see it went opening night. It has a budget of around 25 million so it won't even break even during its theatrical run. Studio isn't getting their money back on this one, but I bet it will be a hit on Netflix.
Sounds like enough though for Bert to muddy the waters and say it’s a “hit”
 

Queefer Sutherland

Fix me, Josh!
Well, it's a major flop. They tried to report it made exactly $5,000,000,000 opening day. It's lie upon lie with Kreischer.


Here's the real numbers.

 

IGotATreeOnMyHouse85

Stand Alone Fruit
It's not. They were projecting 5 million, but after 850k on Thursday they were predicting it to overperform with 8-10 million. So basically a good chunk of the people who wanted to see it went opening night. It has a budget of around 25 million so it won't even break even during its theatrical run. Studio isn't getting their money back on this one, but I bet it will be a hit on Netflix.
Exactly, the movie will only go down from here and even then it only did 5 million. So next week prob do 1.5 million if they’re lucky then probably pulled from theaters. Sebastian’s movie only did a little under 5 which was probably because they put two very similar movies out the same week. Machine might have done 7-8 if it didn’t have another comedian doing a movie on their life the same week. Bert hoped this would be like a “Hangover” type huge box office hit yet it’s clear those days of an R rated comedy being a box office hit are long gone.
 

Cuphead

Formerly know as Fat Abbot
Exactly, the movie will only go down from here and even then it only did 5 million. So next week prob do 1.5 million if they’re lucky then probably pulled from theaters. Sebastian’s movie only did a little under 5 which was probably because they put two very similar movies out the same week. Machine might have done 7-8 if it didn’t have another comedian doing a movie on their life the same week. Bert hoped this would be like a “Hangover” type huge box office hit yet it’s clear those days of an R rated comedy being a box office hit are long gone.
You aren't going to ever see another R rated comedy on the level of The Hangover until someone comes along and makes one that's actually funny and has a good hook and the studio markets the hell out of it. I couldn't tell you the last rated R comedy that was a big hit at the box office came out even before COVID. The truth is most of them are shit or try to push woke/left wing shit that nobody wants to see. Bert was retarded to think that this movie would revive the R rated blockbuster comedy. It's based off a joke that's seven years old, has no bankable stars (nobody gives a shit about Mark Hamil), and looked like crap. Not to mention, Bert has done a lot of shit to taint his public image lately. Maybe if it came out at the height of his popularity it could have been a moderate success, but even in the early 2010's when R rated comedies were all the buzz I doubt it would've been a big hit.
 

Meownaw

I GOT DA HAT NOW!
You aren't going to ever see another R rated comedy on the level of The Hangover until someone comes along and makes one that's actually funny and has a good hook and the studio markets the hell out of it. I couldn't tell you the last rated R comedy that was a big hit at the box office came out even before COVID. The truth is most of them are shit or try to push woke/left wing shit that nobody wants to see. Bert was retarded to think that this movie would revive the R rated blockbuster comedy. It's based off a joke that's seven years old, has no bankable stars (nobody gives a shit about Mark Hamil), and looked like crap. Not to mention, Bert has done a lot of shit to taint his public image lately. Maybe if it came out at the height of his popularity it could have been a moderate success, but even in the early 2010's when R rated comedies were all the buzz I doubt it would've been a big hit.
Wasn't Deadpool successful or is that cheating since it's capeshit?
 
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