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Artie Lange: The Dark Side of Comedy

DMAN

SUFFERING FROM DMANIA, PRONE TO DMANIC EPISODES
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Artie is not my favorite guy from Howard - I always preferred Jackie, because Jackie clashed with Wiggy and was an endless supply of crazy stories and material - but I didn't dislike him though.

Artie was a fan who made it. He got the dream job, and for a time, he reinvigorated the show. When Jackie left, despite what Howard says today, the show clearly was limping along. Benji helped fill the slack in writing, but he didn't have Martling's talent (I know that sounds crazy), and something was clearly missing without the Old Bayville Cackler. All their fill-ins like Craig Gass and AJ Benza were just two dimensional sounding boards that didn't add much.

Artie was their first true third mic. When he wasn't drugged out if his mind, he legit held his own. I give him credit, not just anyone can do that. And while I make no excuses for his addiction, I'm glad he's doing better, but most of all, it's very clear how much life he did add to the show, because look at it now. I can't even listen to modern Howard. There's nothing genuine or accessible.

Also, he was the subject of the last great roast on the show, which I remember Colin closed with the best set.

None of those 'rotating panel' guys could hang because they were all afraid of Howard and how famous he was. Jackie knew his boss was big, but he was always so spiteful and quick to side against Howard.

Jackie was integral in forming the act, he could never truly be replaced. Jackie was the Larry David to Howard's Seinfeld. He was instrumental in creating that persona, and the hijinks of all his underlings. As a talented producer, Fred is more of a robotic support system. Martling added the human touch that no robot can artificially create.

Artie didn't "fill Jackie's seat" he pulled up his own chair next to the empty one that nobody ever sat in again. At first he only chimed in occasionally, until he stopped being afraid of Howard and would simply kiss his ass passively to remain on his good side.

If I relistened to Artie's final days on the air, maybe I'd find it funny in some sick way now. But at the time? He completely ruined the show. I grew to hate his guts. His every comment was an obvious brag about money that only a nigger rich classless poorfag would brag about. It made for great TV though. Artie's appearance on Joe Buck and the aftermath on the air was one of the last great moments.
 

LingerLonger

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Jackie was integral in forming the act, he could never truly be replaced. Jackie was the Larry David to Howard's Seinfeld. He was instrumental in creating that persona, and the hijinks of all his underlings. As a talented producer, Fred is more of a robotic support system. Martling added the human touch that no robot can artificially create.
People don't realize that Howard's persona was really just Jackie's writing. Just like 90% of the stuff Billy West ever said, including the Jackie Puppet mocking Jackie, were actually written by Jackie. Practically every joke that Howard told came from Jackie or one of the other writers on the show. It was a secret that Howard had writers at all. And a big point of contention was the writers and show staff never being credited as writers because it would undermine Howard's originality.

Jackie was the one that manipulated Howard into making the Jackie Puppet a character. He knew that if he brought the puppet in himself that Howard would get jealous that someone made a puppet of Jackie and not Howard and the bit would die right there. So he had the guy bring in the puppet on his own to Gary, and Jackie pretended that he was upset that the puppet made him out to be an obese alcoholic, and he didn't want it on the air. It worked because Howard immediately brought the puppet into the studio and it became its own character on the show.

Howard did not want people to know that most of his famous lines and crazy celebrity questions came from Jackie or a random producer or even Fred or Gary. Without Jackie, Howard is just another show business fag, watching reality TV, being a jew snob, and a bore. His real personality is the one we see now.
Artie didn't "fill Jackie's seat" he pulled up his own chair next to the empty one that nobody ever sat in again. At first he only chimed in occasionally, until he stopped being afraid of Howard and would simply kiss his ass passively to remain on his good side.
Artie never started as Jackie's replacement which ended up being a disaster in the long run. After Jackie quit, Howard just had comedians on the show to hang out, while they figured out the new dynamic of the show and looked for a replacement. Right after 9/11 Artie was supposed to go on the show to promote a movie, and ended up staying the entire week as a third mic, because it was hard for guests to travel. Eventually Howard liked having Artie on and brought him in as a another microphone. Then hired him full time. Never expecting that Artie would become the focal point of the show.

When Billy, Jackie, John, and others became unafraid of Howard they just quit. Artie hilariously stuck it out and commandeered the show like a hijacker. Artie did the same exact thing to Nick Dip on his radio show and stole the show from him and had Nick fired essentially. All while he was on heroin as well. The last few years of Artie on Stern was like listening to two bands sharing the sage, one rock, one country, and trying to play music over each other to two different audiences. It was chaos.

And Artie stopped kissing Howard's ass when he realized that he had nothing in common with Howard. That Artie was like a working class guy just looking to goof around and talk sports. And Howard came from a radio and show business family and wanted to be an A-list celebrity and be in the Hamptons with the other snobs. Famously coming to a boil with Artie just spewing hatred for fags and gay culture and wishing AIDS on various employees during the years Howard was trying to present an ultra liberal Hollywood image. Saying that Gary took it in the ass and had AIDS because he threw out a first pitch like a spastic. Or ripping on High Pitch Mike and so on.
If I relistened to Artie's final days on the air, maybe I'd find it funny in some sick way now. But at the time? He completely ruined the show. I grew to hate his guts. His every comment was an obvious brag about money that only a nigger rich classless poorfag would brag about. It made for great TV though.
Howard was like this as well. Artie once hit Howard with a joke at one of the roasts like "All the Marines in Iraq are praying for your safety Howard. Because you said the air conditioner was not working in your $2million limo. Please be safe in these hard times".

Artie was deeply insecure about money. He was almost fired for threatening to murder his assistant Teddy on air for "stealing my fucking money". And throwing things at Teddy and having to be restrained. Artie's blowups over money were probably just him fretting over heroin and needing something to bitch about.
Artie's appearance on Joe Buck and the aftermath on the air was one of the last great moments.
Probably the greatest talk show appearance of all time. The executive producer of Joe Buck Live told Artie backstage "if you think the show is slow or boring....just go fucking crazy". Artie was on drugs obviously and went crazy immediately upon getting on air. But his destruction of the show was so complete that HBO fired Joe Buck and his entire team before the first season even complete airing.
 

DMAN

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The executive producer of Joe Buck Live told Artie backstage "if you think the show is slow or boring....just go fucking crazy". Artie was on drugs obviously and went crazy immediately upon getting on air.

Good judgement on Artie's part. Those 2 leading man knuckleheads had nothing funny to say. Artie pulled the trigger early and didn't stop.

Howard did not want people to know that most of his famous lines and crazy celebrity questions came from Jackie or a random producer or even Fred or Gary.

I tend to disagree with that. The only reason we know he was writing lines was because they would say on the show, or show it on TV. I recall seeing Martling and Fred credited as writers on the channel 9 show and the CBS '98 show. In 1995 Howard would comment on Jackie passing him jokes. It wasn't until after the movie that they built the set to hide Jackie and Fred behind computers and equipment on the E! show. But you could tell a Jackie line from the volume of his reaction.

Howard simply doesn't pay up. Jackie deserved to get money he was asking for. Billy West leaving was a major blow, but the show lost its soul with Jackie leaving. Name any other ex employee who was fairly compensated. They all leave because Howard runs a cheap ship, and he can always find fanboys willing to humiliate themselves for peanuts. He fancies himself a starmaker for retards, his show is woke faggots fighting with each other about office squabbles or reality show bets. Housewife entertainment.

Artie had to love the Roasts where he could use an outlet to tell the truth to Howard about being a reality show watching faggot. Perhaps Stern placed a jewish curse on Artie after the bro fight. Howard enabled Artie at first because it was good for content. But it clearly became a pain that ruined the show, he couldn't tolerate anymore. He had to start turning off Artie's mic and giving him hand signals to stfu.

Artie outlived Norm, Bob Saget, Gilbert Gottfried, Fez Whatley, even Trevor Moore god damnit. And maybe Jim Norton, god willin.
 
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