Anyone here almost die?

[Imager]

Loving /r/brothermen recently, so I'll post one myself.

I had to travel quite a bit in the late oughts. Would be on the west coast for 6-8 weeks at a time and then fly back east for 8 or 9 days. To a southern state not exactly in a rural area but certainly an unsophisticated area.

So I left the west coast and am back and there's an intersection I go through that had an oddly shaped 4-way stop. It was about a mile from my house. I get to the intersection, stop, and then start going again and as I'm going through the intersection a car going at least 50 miles an hour drives across from me, right to left, missing my car by maybe a foot. Had I got to that stop sign just 2 or 3 seconds earlier I would have been T-boned and I drove a tiny car. I likely would have died.

So I stop immediately, and the car that was on my right and is now on my left also stops. I drive over to it and it's this nigger woman and she's all "why did you do that? what's wrong with you?" and I say, "what the hell is wrong with you running that stop sign? You nearly killed me!" and she said "it's a light not a stop sign" and I replied, "No. You ran a stop sign." and pulled a u-turn out of disgust.

And what had happened was while I was gone, this 4-way stop that had been there for years, maybe decades, had been replaced with a light, and absolutely no signage that the traffic pattern had changed.

The nigger was obviously correct, but my brain had no reason to see the new light. My brain didn't even look for it. It's kind of scary how much of our lives are on autopilot.

 

[guest]

Nice almost killing a lady because you can't be bothered to pay attention to the road, stupid.

I actually did get T boned like that by some dipshit like you, luckily I was ok.

Another friend drove off a bridge when I was in the car, 16 dick....lucky it landed In a soft snow bank

 

[PickleRickle]

One time when I stuck a straw into a bag of coke like a retard and the entire fuckin thing went right into me at once. That was scary.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

My friend was driving us back to my house in HS and passed a car over a double line on a curve. Almost got into a head on collision between a semi and a Ford Focus. He totaled like 3 cars in HS.

 

[Imager]

Nice almost killing a lady because you can't be bothered to pay attention to the road, stupid.

I actually did get T boned like that by some dipshit like you, luckily I was ok.

Another friend drove off a bridge when I was in the car, 16 dick....lucky it landed In a soft snow bank

You misunderstand. She would have been fine. I would have been killed. She had the heavy, big car. I had a tiny convertible.

God just wanted me to patpost.

 

[Imager]

You misunderstand. She would have been fine. I would have been killed. She had the heavy, big car. I had a tiny convertible.

God just wanted me to patpost.

Also, other states have regulations that when the traffic patterns change, big orange flags and signs have to be put up and they have to stay up for months.

The eastern state I was in apparently had no such law. My brain literally saw no change. It's crazy.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Very similar, I was driving 4 people to a vacation house in my tiny car, which I was used to driving alone. Because of all the luggage, we had so much momentum that when I pulled up an off ramp, I didn't realize how much earlier I had needed to start braking. I had to slam that shit to activate ABS and barely stopped before a pickup truck blew past us on the road we were merging onto.

I wasn't allowed to drive the rest of the way which was bs cause otherwise my driving record has been completely flawless. In the previous year, our driver was super fucking slow and put us an hour behind, and we were the ones supposed to get the key. When I took the drivers seat, I made back that time plus an additional 30mins, we got there early.

It's fascinating that most of these stories are either going to be driving or OD. Or retardedly fucking with guns

 

[guest]

You misunderstand. She would have been fine. I would have been killed. She had the heavy, big car. I had a tiny convertible.

God just wanted me to patpost.

You would have ruined Shaniquas Benz, she probably would have had a heart attack after.

It's just not worth it to drive fast, now since I had that crash I always check both ways even when it's green. Safe is my speed.

 

[Dog Eater]

I slipped and fell in a pool when I was like 5 years old and some random lady happened to see it happen and saved me. Drowning sucks quite a lot.

Also 2 ridiculous car accidents where I came off basically unharmed but could easily have died.

 

[HH Brother]

Was almost hit by a van crossing a road recently. I thought there was no oncoming traffic, and I walked behind a parked truck, and a delivery truck nearly plowed into me going at least close to 40 and I ran out of the way with my little turnip root legs, funster.

 

[guest]

Smoked a spice blunt at my friends condo when his parents were out of town, synthetic weed was all the rave back in the day, I had one leg over the balcony and was about to jump because I thought I was in a videogame, my buddy pulled me back by sheer luck,
I wouldve plummeted 15 floors to my death and been another 17 year old dickhead
I guess I'm here for a reason...
And that reason is to cyberstalk a portly midlist scifi author from milwaukee.

 

[Dog Eater]

Smoked a spice blunt at my friends condo when his parents were out of town, synthetic weed was all the rave back in the day, I had one leg over the balcony and was about to jump because I thought I was in a videogame, my buddy pulled me back by sheer luck,
I wouldve plummeted 15 floors to my death and been another 17 year old dickhead
I guess I'm here for a reason.
And that reason is to cyberstalk a portly midlist scifi author from milwaukee.

And valiantly defend the integrity of prostitutes vaginas.

 

[PickleRickle]

Smoked a spice blunt at my friends condo when his parents were out of town, synthetic weed was all the rave back in the day, I had one leg over the balcony and was about to jump because I thought I was in a videogame, my buddy pulled me back by sheer luck,
I wouldve plummeted 15 floors to my death and been another 17 year old dickhead
I guess I'm here for a reason...
And that reason is to cyberstalk a portly midlist scifi author from milwaukee.

You just reminded me of another almost drug fueled death on my part. I was blacked out on mushrooms, looked over this railing on a bridge, instead of the river below me, it was a cartoon playing on the water from my childhood, like a huge tv screen. These cartoon guys were dancing around a volcano and I almost fuckin jumped over to join them.

 

[EraGodless]

I was in Mexico (Reynosa) and I drank .750 ml of Bacardi Anejo (straight) within 10 minutes or so. It was a fucking ordeal or so I was told. I woke up passed out in my friend's backyard. I definitely had alcohol poisoning and the dummies should have brought me to a hospital, but they panicked (also they were kind of pissed because it took 3+ hours to cross the border back into America because I couldn't say that I was a US citizen and I didn't have an ID on me.

 

[bantadant]

One time when I stuck a straw into a bag of coke like a retard and the entire fuckin thing went right into me at once. That was scary.

Good thing it wasn't a fawking Pepsi!

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Idk if almost death. But this was retarded. I drank a coffee mug full of grey goose to the head after 4 or 5 shots. Within seconds my entire body was buzzing and my face just stopped working. I knew I was hammered. But didn’t understand how much until I stood up and my legs didn’t work. Everyone Carried me into a room and told me don’t move. Took me 15 minutes to fucking crawl back out there. To piss everyone off cuz they had to pick me up and carry me back. Then I noticed they left their blow in the room. So I did all their coke walked back out to their amazement and continued drinking. We later got a bunch of E. 2010 am I right folks?

 

[Milk74]

Yes.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

One time during autoerotic asphyxiation I cut it really close

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Coming back from shopping at Walmart on oxys and other meds, fell asleep driving went off the side of road hit the dirt bank and flipped car over, roof was caved in pretty good, when I got out noticed there was a barn straight across the road at a farmhouse, found out later my great grandmother used to live there in the 1910's her 16 year old brother hung himself in that barn

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

I suppose the closest I got was when my appendix failed. If it wasnt for modern medicine I would have died from "natural causes". An organ failure is a unique kind of pain.