Any of you guys ever fuck or talk to someone you’re not supposed to?

[guest]

When I was 17 or 18, I went back to one of my best mate's house after a night out. His parents had a big place in Pimlico- which is in Central London so closer to all the clubs than most of us who lived in the suburbs - and they were both alcoholics who shagged around so were rarely home. So "Rick's" house was where you crashed after clubbing.

This one night it was him, me and this mad slag Charlotte. When I say she was mad, she had a tattoo of Mallory from Natural Born Killers on her shoulder because she "identified with her." We were all pilled up and drunk and smoked some weed when we got back to his place, and I passed out on his bed. I woke up mid-morning to them fucking right next to me. She was riding him and they were trying to be quiet, so I was in a bit of a dilemma. I was on my side, and they didn't know I was awake. Did I let them know I was awake and join in? No. Should I get up and be a buzz kill? That's definitely what I'd do now, but I was still basically a kid. So I played dead and lay there as she fucked my big-eared idiot of a friend.

After he blew his beans, he went downstairs and I pretended to wake up. She obviously knew I'd been awake the whole time because first thing she said was "you can shag me too if you like." I asked if she had a condom and she said no, and that "Rick" hadn't had one either. So it was a definite no. I got a blow job from her and "Rick" came in halfway to inform us that there was nothing to eat downstairs.

She fucked off home after and me and him went to get a fry up at a greasy spoon and laughed our balls off. She ended up stalking him for a couple of weeks like the barmy cunt she was.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

We worked together. She had 3 jobs supporting a fat fuck husband who played video games all day. She was a 6/10 face but a 9/10 body. She tried to set me up with one of her friends at first, but it didn't really work out. We had closed for the night and we're having drinks at the bar and she said she was really disappointed that her friend flaked on me, I'm a great guy etc etc. went our separate ways for the night and by the time I got home I had a 500 word text that she actually had feelings for me, and she was in a dead end marriage with a selfish asshole and she hadn't had sex for 3 years. I told her I was flattered but the marriage thing just wouldn't be ok for to go against, which was dumb of me. She said she understood.

Next night I'm out with a bunch of coworkers (but she is awol) and we get wasted. At bar close she's all of a sudden there to give us all rides home. We all decide to night cap it and stay up for a few hours. I crash on the couch. I wake up an hour later and she's on the other end of the sectional. I didn't say anything. She didn't say anything. I just basically pulled her to me and we start making out. Caged heat is real. She is a go-er. She took 3 years of anger and frustration out on my dick. Her body was amazing. Not an ounce of misplaced fat, she was freshly waxed and I don't think I'll ever make a woman wetter than I did that night, and I didn't even really do anything. I think I fingerbanged her for about 7 seconds before she pushed her thong aside and got on top. After a regrettably short amount of time I said "I shouldn't finish inside you, I have to pull out" and she blew me until I came. Didn't take long. Then we fucked a bunch more. She finally got divorced after two years and we ended up breaking up a few months after that.

PCJ lives!

 

[Leonard Rhomberg]

When I was 17 or 18, I went back to one of my best mate's house after a night out. His parents had a big place in Pimlico- which is in Central London so closer to all the clubs than most of us who lived in the suburbs - and they were both alcoholics who shagged around so were rarely home. So "Rick's" house was where you crashed after clubbing.

This one night it was him, me and this mad slag Charlotte. When I say she was mad, she had a tattoo of Mallory from Natural Born Killers on her shoulder because she "identified with her." We were all pilled up and drunk and smoked some weed when we got back to his place, and I passed out on his bed. I woke up mid-morning to them fucking right next to me. She was riding him and they were trying to be quiet, so I was in a bit of a dilemma. I was on my side, and they didn't know I was awake. Did I let them know I was awake and join in? No. Should I get up and be a buzz kill? That's definitely what I'd do now, but I was still basically a kid. So I played dead and lay there as she fucked my big-eared idiot of a friend.

After he blew his beans, he went downstairs and I pretended to wake up. She obviously knew I'd been awake the whole time because first thing she said was "you can shag me too if you like." I asked if she had a condom and she said no, and that "Rick" hadn't had one either. So it was a definite no. I got a blow job from her and "Rick" came in halfway to inform us that there was nothing to eat downstairs.

She fucked off home after and me and him went to get a fry up at a greasy spoon and laughed our balls off. She ended up stalking him for a couple of weeks like the barmy cunt she was.

You jibjibjib'ed to let Rick get his rocks off and then you try and get a simple blowie and he interrupts to tell you there is no food. Ricks an ass

 

[Fat little piggy]

When me and my ex first got separated we were still living in the same house. I went out to a bar one night and drunkenly hooked up with this girl from her work. When I went home my ex was up drunk and crying because she found out some guy she was talking too was married. She wound up blowing and fucking me. It brings me joy knowing the last time she blew me she tasted her friends pussy on my dick and still has no idea about it

 

[Cuphead]

I fucked a girl in college I learned later had a boyfriend. Not shocked because the dude was fat and sounded like a queer, but his family was loaded and he went to some super prepy private college. Was obviously just with him for the money.

Funniest one was when I had been talking to this one girl on Tinder and we're trying to meet up but she couldn't on this one night. Ended up going to hook up with another chick I had been talking to. Ended up it was her roommate and she was at their place hanging out with her boyfriend. Poor guy

 

[Fishing Bird]

I used to go to tinder girls’ houses in a college town and realize they were the ugliest in a house of 3-4 hot girls and try to ingratiate myself to their roommates. I lost most of my friends and got kicked out of my band and music scene doing this.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

When me and my ex first got separated we were still living in the same house. I went out to a bar one night and drunkenly hooked up with this girl from her work. When I went home my ex was up drunk and crying because she found out some guy she was talking too was married. She wound up blowing and fucking me. It brings me joy knowing the last time she blew me she tasted her friends pussy on my dick and still has no idea about it

I love you

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

I fucked this hippie-ish chick with yuuuge soft delicious beefers back in the day, knew she had a boyfriend but he was a fucking lump. Ignored those luscious titties to play RuneScape of all fucking things. Great game to be sure, but come on. She was dumb and nutty of course, and I eventually broke things off because she kept trying to get me to go to new-age bullshit crystal seminars. Still think about them big fat fuckin fat motherfuckin fat TITS AGOOOOSH AGOOOOSH YOU FUCKIN PIG
Made out twice with a good friend's real goer of a girlfriend. Right proper hooah: first night I met her, after my buddy passed out she gave herself an oil check and passed her finger under my nose. One of the hottest fucking moments of my life. They later married, had kids, divorced, and not sure what either is up to now. I have no idea if my poor judgement had much to do with it, I suspect not.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

I fucked this hippie-ish chick with yuuuge soft delicious beefers back in the day, knew she had a boyfriend but he was a fucking lump. Ignored those luscious titties to play RuneScape of all fucking things. Great game to be sure, but come on. She was dumb and nutty of course, and I eventually broke things off because she kept trying to get me to go to new-age bullshit crystal seminars. Still think about them big fat fuckin fat motherfuckin fat TITS AGOOOOSH AGOOOOSH YOU FUCKIN PIG
Made out twice with a good friend's real goer of a girlfriend. Right proper hooah, first night I met her, after my buddy passed out she gave herself an oil check and passed her finger under my nose. One of the hottest fucking moments of my life. They later married, had kids, divorced, and not sure what either is up to now. I have no idea if my poor judgement had much to do with it, I suspect not.

The One dude I know who was infatuated with that fucking game is doing a life bid for murder in furtherance of criminal organization.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Lots of them by virtue of being willing to fuck whatever is available at the moment. Let's see, I fucked a married girl a few times. And multiple 50+ y/o women when I was like 25. And a black older woman too. Oh and a female boss once.

None were particularly hot or anything, I just went for them because they existed and were willing. I regret none of them, even the gross ones.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

The One dude I know who was infatuated with that fucking game is doing a life bid for murder in furtherance of criminal organization.

Please tell me it was runescape-related organized crime.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Please tell me it was runescape-related organized crime.

I wish. Would have made it less gay. MS-13. He was selling his RuneScape accounts and making decent money in middle school though.