Any of you guys ever fuck or talk to someone you’re not supposed to?

[CumiaPoodle]

No I'm not really much of a cocksman, I'm shy or whatever. One of my last exes, after the first time we fucked, said "I never would have expected that you don't carry yourself like that." I tend to not attract a lot of women, but when they are it's intense. Lots of dry spells. But when I did find a girl it would be intense.

Dude I am no cocksman at all. I’ve turned down way more pussy than I’ve fucked. I’m not shy I’m a straight up asshole to women. I think once they see I’m really nice it makes them lower their guard allowing me to bang them if I want. But I’m far from traditionally handsome. If I didn’t have charisma I’d be a virgin.

 

[Africa.com]

https://media.glamourmagazine.co.uk...280,c_limit/cher5_glamour_20may16_getty_b.jpg

This is close, but she smaller boobs. And a rounder ass. She went to Vegas and tanned in a thong, when she came back I was banging her reverse cowgirl and ever since then I've had a thing for tan lines.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Just remembered this one. My brothers GF (I would not fuck cuz that’s my brother and also ew she’s Irish) was fucking my brother one night.

He stormed into my room where me and my friend were passed out from smoking. I was freshly 14. The girl was 22. My brother who is a huge 6’3-6’4 250 pound man. Was crying like a baby and he lit up a fucking cigarette in the house. I woke up and asked him what was wrong. After he stopped blubbering he told me.

“I was fucking her and she started moaning “cumiapoodleeeee Cumiapoodleeeee” I grabbed his big fucking head and said dude kick her ass out in the morning. They have three kids now.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

https://media.glamourmagazine.co.uk...280,c_limit/cher5_glamour_20may16_getty_b.jpg

This is close, but she smaller boobs. And a rounder ass. She went to Vegas and tanned in a thong, when she came back I was banging her reverse cowgirl and ever since then I've had a thing for tan lines.

That’s very close to how I imagined her.

ever fucked an N person?

 

[Africa.com]

That’s very close to how I imagined her.

ever fucked an N person?

2

 

[CumiaPoodle]

2

Holy smokes. What kind of N we talking?

Ghetto and or wanna be white Ns?

 

[Africa.com]

Holy smokes. What kind of N we talking?

Ghetto and or wanna be white Ns?

One was Half Scots, quarter black quarter Spanish. The other was Half Rez Native, Half black

 

[Cartoon Redux]

A few years ago I had a really good job at a big company, I had multiple girls in the building who were infatuated with me and we would text each other nudes throughout the day. We'd be sneaking off to the bathrooms taking pics in the stalls for each other. Each girl thought the photos I took were for her and her alone and they never knew about each other. We were all secretive since there was a pretty serious workplace dating policy (I met one of them at a training seminar about the dating policy, nice job HR fags) so we would only get together outside of work and if I stayed the night I'd lock my phone and shut off notifications. Eventually I realized I painted myself into a corner and I left that job before something bad happened.

I'm still on good terms with a lot of my exes (we kept up on facebook/insta and stuff) and my girl actually thinks they were platonic friends and eventually cultivated friendships with many of them. More than half of her friends now are girls I fucked before we met. Was real weird coming home from work one day and there's three women I know carnally in my living room using my Netflix to watch some dumb gay show. It sounds hot but I still worry about everyone finding out and it being a huge mess even though realistically nothing would happen.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

A few years ago I had a really good job at a big company, I had multiple girls in the building who were infatuated with me and we would text each other nudes throughout the day. We'd be sneaking off to the bathrooms taking pics in the stalls for each other. Each girl thought the photos I took were for her and her alone and they never knew about each other. We were all secretive since there was a pretty serious workplace dating policy (I met one of them at a training seminar about the dating policy, nice job HR fags) so we would only get together outside of work and if I stayed the night I'd lock my phone and shut off notifications. Eventually I realized I painted myself into a corner and I left that job before something bad happened.

I'm still on good terms with a lot of my exes (we kept up on facebook/insta and stuff) and my girl actually thinks they were platonic friends and eventually cultivated friendships with many of them. More than half of her friends now are girls I fucked before we met. Was real weird coming home from work one day and there's three women I know carnally in my living room using my Netflix to watch some dumb gay show. It sounds hot but I still worry about everyone finding out and it being a huge mess even though realistically nothing would happen.

You, Cart my friend, are a cocksmith.

 

[UnPRePared]

I met a gal in Central Park while taking pictures of scaffolding late one night...

 

[aRTie02150]

This Croatian kid in 8th grade purposely kicked a soccer ball onto the highway and I got in trouble too and my mom said I wasn't allowed to hang out with him anymore.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

This Croatian kid in 8th grade purposely kicked a soccer ball onto the highway and I got in trouble too and my mom said I wasn't allowed to hang out with him anymore.

I bet your mom was hot af when you were growing up. If I was your friend I woulda jacked in her panties.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

I met a gal in Central Park while taking pictures of scaffolding late one night...

How did you end up wooing a dime piece like Gosia? Asking for a friend

 

[CumiaPoodle]

How did you end up wooing a dime piece like Gosia? Asking for a friend

Wine and common ground. They bonded over the subject of Total Nigger Death.

 

[UnPRePared]

How did you end up wooing a dime piece like Gosia? Asking for a friend

It's a question I ask myself every day when I see this haggard mug in the mirror.

But long story short? We made each other laugh, and the rest is history.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

My cheating has ruined almost every relationship I've had and I've regretted it every time. You'd think I'd learn.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

My cheating has ruined almost every relationship I've had and I've regretted it every time. You'd think I'd learn.

Abe, listen. Barring total nigger death. Commitment is for the birds. You need only commitment to one’s self. As a fellow drinker, if we don’t get right with the lord we cannot be good to others. You get right on your own time. Plus the greatest loophole ever is that when we no longer get hammered 4-7 days a week everyone has to say yayyyy and all sins are forgotten.

As long as you do not forsake god you are not alone. You never sinned you only lived in sin.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Abe, listen. Barring total nigger death. Commitment is for the birds. You need only commitment to one’s self. As a fellow drinker, if we don’t get right with the lord we cannot be good to others. You get right on your own time. Plus the greatest loophole ever is that when we no longer get hammered 4-7 days a week everyone has to say yayyyy and all sins are forgotten.

As long as you do not forsake god you are not alone. You never sinned you only lived in sin.

That was a great pep talk. I genuinely feel better. Thanks, CumiaPoodle. Praise the Lord.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

That was a great pep talk. I genuinely feel better. Thanks, CumiaPoodle. Praise the Lord.

I gotcha buddy things are going to get a lot better just stay alive to see it. White power praise the lord and Mel.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Abe, listen. Barring total nigger death. Commitment is for the birds. You need only commitment to one’s self. As a fellow drinker, if we don’t get right with the lord we cannot be good to others. You get right on your own time. Plus the greatest loophole ever is that when we no longer get hammered 4-7 days a week everyone has to say yayyyy and all sins are forgotten.

As long as you do not forsake god you are not alone. You never sinned you only lived in sin.

Thou shalt not covet thy brother's wife.

But your wife's sister is all game