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Alcoholics are such faggots. I haven't had a drink in days and I feel fine. ANYONE can do it.

Stent

jewery duty
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bantadant

Fantastic Man
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12,248
This is completely true. For anyone with the slightest bit of self control it's not an issue at all. I drink enough to fall into the "alcoholic" category, but i've never let it interfere with work, and when i want to stop for a bit i just do it.

The gayest things is the "well i hadn't had a drink for 765 days, but i accidentally swallowed some mouth wash so now i have to start my count over" bullshit. Stop counting shit and just chill the fuck out instead
 

stealthygeek

Reminder: Vincent D'Onofrio blocked Patrick
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49,587
I got an OUI 15 years ago because I'm a retard and as part of the program we were supposed to go to two AA meetings. They're anonymous obviously so everyone just lies about it but I decided to split the difference out of guilt and go to one.

Fucking creepy. The God stuff, the people who eagerly discuss how they've been doing this multiple days a week for years, the desperation and mental illness. At the end I got cornered by some of the regulars and invited out to some restaurant that they met at every week to hang out at sober or whatever. They were nice but it was all very cultish and creeped me out. If I ever needed help getting sober I would find alternatives to AA.
 

AntSucks

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
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Just the other day I was talking with Alan, my barber about addiction. While trimming my nose hairs, he said with a twinkle in his eye - "Hey, how come nobody ever gets addicted to healthy living?". Oh Alan. We had a good chuckle over that. It's so true when you think about it. People always seem to get addicted to things associated with exciting wild times, hot babes and lots of risk taking behavior, and never a carrot. Why is that?
 
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51,460
Hangovers caused his need for and addiction to xanax...
What will happen is one day in the not-too-distant future, his booze-ravaged organs will fail, suddenly and dramatically. His brain is already damaged, as evidenced by his poor decision-making skills, bizarre mugging and endless moronic tittering. But one day soon, he'll wake up and be sick as hell, at which point he'll find out that his liver or pancreas has rotted away and is now non-functional. Then a few months later he'll die.
 
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