A peek at Pig's script

[guest]

Let’s set the atrocious dialogue and classic “someone did something wrong so the main character can be introduced by snarking at them” Pat scenario aside for now.

The idea of a period piece set in the war involving submarines and presumably a large amount of vfx work is a great choice for a screenplay written on spec by someone who has no name whatever in the business. A fine choice indeed.

Assuming he's writing an entire script about Project Azorian, it would be require massive sets and all kinds of CGI, let alone even the costumes and location shooting. Not only would this be ridiculously expensive, the market for those who want to watch it is incredibly limited.

Pat has watched a documentary about it so he's the expert. Time to make this happen, movie executives, or Pat will take the script elsewhere.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Patrick should've spent some of our tax money on final draft. It's the industry standard.

Yep but Mr Success can’t afford it and is probably too dumb to learn how to use it anyway.

Assuming he's writing an entire script about Project Azorian, it would be require massive sets and all kinds of CGI, let alone even the costumes and location shooting. Not only would this be ridiculously expensive, the market for those who want to watch it is incredibly limited.

Pat has watched a documentary about it so he's the expert. Time to make this happen, movie executives, or Pat will take the script elsewhere.

Way ahead of you. I’ve already arranged a meeting with the guy upstairs to ask for the $300,000,000 we’ll need to get this into production. Nothing puts a smile on the face of studio heads like an incredibly expensive project written by a nobody for an extremely niche audience. Especially these days.

 

[RoTheHo69]

I hope my nigga Vlad has family still alive to sue the pig over this blatant theft of his life story.

Capt Vladimir Ivanovich Kobzar (1930-1968) - Find...

Captain Vladimir Kobzar was the commander of the Soviet submarine K-129. She was diesel-electric, 10 years old and armed with ballistic missiles. An accident on board let her sink immedeately. Captain Kobzar died together with his crew of 98 brave men. Their last position was 1560 seamiles...

www.findagrave.com

The submariners that I've met here and there are the coolest guys ever, and that's the worst way to go. Why can't this fat piece of garbage just respect the family? What an awful person.

Please don't be pricks on that site but.....Nana?

Happy Easter to you and your Submariners. XPICTOC BOCKPEC.From Germany with love.

Left by Nana on 4 Apr 2021

That's not us..


Pig really deserves to get a stroke. What a piece of garbage. I hate that porky fuck.

In my opinion this highlights his lack of character and humanity as much as his choice to abandon his daughter. Truly disgusting. It's a new low.

 

[Mikekeke]

Let’s set the atrocious dialogue and classic “someone did something wrong so the main character can be introduced by snarking at them” Pat scenario aside for now.

The idea of a period piece set in the war involving submarines and presumably a large amount of vfx work is a great choice for a screenplay written on spec by someone who has no name whatever in the business. A fine choice indeed.

Yeah, you don't want to start with comedy/drama, maybe something with a fake punch and a fake bloody nose at most. You always want to write a script that would need a Lord of the Rings type budget.

Pat, maybe something along the lines of 12 Portly Men.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

Read the first few pages of the Red October script.

Pat is not an original.

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

Assuming he's writing an entire script about Project Azorian, it would be require massive sets

As luck would have it, Patrick already has a massive set

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Yeah, you don't want to start with comedy/drama, maybe something with a fake punch and a fake bloody nose at most. You always want to write a script that would need a Lord of the Rings type budget.

Pat, maybe something along the lines of 12 Portly Men.

I would actually offer Pat money if he wrote a straight up comedy screenplay just to get my hands on it.

Start with horror, kids. Horror effects can be done effectively on the cheap, you don’t need any stars or expensive locations, very few costumes that require anything beyond the ordinary and there is a massive built in audience who will watch pretty much anything if it’s horror.

There are also production studios like Blumhouse who are constantly picking up new horror projects as long as there’s a spark of something interesting there.

Only a real dope with delusions of grandeur and no understanding of how things work would start with a period war epic. A real Tomlinson, if you will.

 

[Pringle Can Lothario]

Someone get Jackie Martling on the phone. A script needs punching up.

I misspoke. A script “writer.”

 

[Kim_Jong_Poon]

Someone get Jackie Martling on the phone. A script needs punching up.

I misspoke. A script “writer.”

Hey Gar, I'm not able to make it in today (cough) I got AIDS after reading this guy's screenplay (cough)

 

[Kim_Jong_Poon]

Yep but Mr Success can’t afford it and is probably too dumb to learn how to use it anyway.


Way ahead of you. I’ve already arranged a meeting with the guy upstairs to ask for the $300,000,000 we’ll need to get this into production. Nothing puts a smile on the face of studio heads like an incredibly expensive project written by a nobody for an extremely niche audience. Especially these days.

It's in space child, I'm sorry you're going to prison for making fun of it

 

[TorqueWheeler]

It's in space child, I'm sorry you're going to prison for making fun of it

Pretty sure this is his “think smaller” (than space) project.

In Patworld, thinking smaller means writing a spec screenplay about the CIA plan to recover a sunken submarine off the Pacific ocean floor using a purpose-built ship. I’m sure James Cameron will be right on it once he’s finished his nine Avatar movies.

 

[Harry Powell]

His self-insert character is there in the final lines. “An older man, bulging in the middle, thinning up top”

 

[Kim_Jong_Poon]

@Twatsmash I'm sorry I'm so stupid, child. But in my defense, he's still probably going for an aquatic alien angle, like in The Abyss

 

[guest]

At first I thought he was too dumb to know how to take a screenshot, but then it became clear. He just has to show off that he's drinking at a bar while he's doing this. Buckle down and focus? Write sober? Wildman Pat has no time for your rules! He's going to down a few whiskeys, type 3 more words, take 17 more selfies at the bar and hopefully Gary Busey his brains on the pavement when he crashes his scooter on the way back to the sty.

 

[Mikekeke]

Do NOT call Izzy Hops at 414-249-4489 and ask to speak with the fat man at the bar w a laptop.


View attachment 1358

I would love to be behind Pat at a red light at 2 AM and watch him slowly lean so far to one side on his bike that he hits the point of no return so he just falls and gets his big fat Ren Fairre turkey leg pinned under the bike.

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

Robert Rodriguez is now a full time faggot, but he made a good point once. He said you should write your script around items and locations that are easily accessible to you. Unless you're a fat retarded narcissist of course.

"Horror effects can be done effectively on the cheap"

@Twatsmash
Pretty sure it's not your department, but do you know why anyone ever uses digital bloodsplats over squibs? Took me right out of Rambo (2008) and The Expendables etc

 

[Meownaw]

Raising Arizona... in SPACE!

Damn was beat to the paunch

 

[Pringle Can Lothario]

I’m going to call Bill O’Reilly to get a treatment.

“The thing fucking sucks. It sucks”

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Robert Rodriguez is now a full time faggot, but he made a good point once. He said you should write your script around items and locations that are easily accessible to you. Unless you're a fat retarded narcissist of course.

"Horror effects can be done effectively on the cheap"

@Twatsmash
Pretty sure it's not your department, but do you know why anyone ever uses digital bloodsplats over squibs? Took me right out of Rambo (2008) and The Expendables etc

Primarily, it’s just much cheaper, faster and easier to shoot without squibs. In some cases it means they can get a PG13 rating and then add blood for the home video release.

I also despise the use of digital blood.

 

[Cyberatorquer]

Donald Ivanovich Trumpov hacked our elections, child