YOUR FUCKING JINGLE DOESN'T RHYME AT ALL

[UnPRePared]

THE COCKSUCKERS BARELY EVEN SELL TIRES! It's just a fucking hardware store for retards and faggots. They sell fucking shitty little appliances and gay shit too. The only fucking CUNTS who buy tires there are dumb old ladies like my mom because "tire" is in the name and they'll have some little bitch 17 year old faggot put them on wrong for you.

.... Maybe kiss you.

 

[Stent]

Old people don't even know what VR is. Most of them would freak out and run into traffic.

 

[guest]

I see Abe really has embraced the Christmas spirit

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

YOU STUPIT FUCKIN BITCH

Fuck Canadian Tire in their fucking asses. Fuck Canada and fuck tires. This actually made something snap in my brain. I'm gonna be pissed off all day.

Also who gives a fuck? You wrap some fucking lights around the piece of shit, some wooden beads and you hang up some glass balls and whatever ugly fucking pumpkin seed poinsettia craft or popsicle stick reindeer your retard kid made in school. Nobody needs a VR preview. Fucking KILL YOURSELF CANADIAN TIRE.

FUCK

When I calm the FUCK down I'm going to contact them about what lazy fucking useless shit-huffing inbred cocksucking faggot pieces of shit they are as an entire corporation. I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack.

I hope that fat bitch singing the jingle gets fucking sex trafficked. I hope EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THIS HORSESHIT GETS FUCKING SEX TRAFFICKED. I HOPE SANTA CLAUS GETS SEX TRAFFICKED. FUCK.

Would Panera ever put out some half assed bullshit like this? OR WOULD YOU CRUSH ALL OF THOSE RESPONSIBLE AND WRITE A REAL FUCKING JINGLE?

THE COCKSUCKERS BARELY EVEN SELL TIRES! It's just a fucking hardware store for retards and faggots. They sell fucking shitty little appliances and gay shit too. The only fucking CUNTS who buy tires there are dumb old ladies like my mom because "tire" is in the name and they'll have some little bitch 17 year old faggot put them on wrong for you.

I'm gonna get shitfaced and probably fall into a running table saw. GOOD FUCKING GOING, CANADIAN TIRE.

I can appreciate that. But Ben Savage is like 40 and looks like he's never shaved a single whisker off his face and that also makes me boiling fucking angry for some reason. I think I might just be having a bad day.

Sir, this is a Panera Bread, can i take your order?

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Don’t do it Abe, you’re an icon. There’s Fish fanatics yet to be born.

That scene cracked more ribs (esp the Jap and the coffee bit) than anything I've watched on TV in twenty years.

Also, the original lyrics don't rhyme either, Abe. Fuck that spot, but fuck that song, too.

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
How lovely are thy branches

Or, even worse:

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
How are thy leaves so verdant!

 

[not that Jack Horner]

abe, keep in mind the original song ryhmed tree with tree

which is only rhyming when rapper do it

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Aren't Canadians considered smart? At least in comparison to the Americans.

No, they're considered polite in comparison to the Americans.