You ever been on a date with an ugly chick before?

[guest]

I have some embarrassing stories, in college I did actually great, but the two that were a little rough was a fat chick that wanted double jack and the box order and an old lady that went to school I guess? But saw her kids on her night stand as I was eating her ass.

 

[Chuck Berry's Toilet Cams]

On the date, wear novelty disguise glasses with the nose and everything

This. And play "Who Are You?" on the jukebox over and over

 

[guest]

2s,3s avoid me because they already know instinctively im above them. It's strange how suspicious they get if I strike up a convo. You can be too 'handsome' for your own good if that makes sense.

 

[guest]

2s,3s avoid me because they already know instinctively im above them. It's strange how suspicious they get if I strike up a convo. You can be too 'handsome' for your own good if that makes sense.

Yeah its kinda offensive that shes into me so much. The rude cunt.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

I have some embarrassing stories, in college I did actually great, but the two that were a little rough was a fat chick that wanted double jack and the box order and an old lady that went to school I guess? But saw her kids on her night stand as I was eating her ass.

What were her kids doing just sitting on the nightstand.. watching? Seems a bit odd

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

I’ve mounted some dogs in my time but nothing too terrible. I like a thick girl but I don’t go for the fatties, never did. The fattest one I met at a friends bonfire.. nearly any girl can look sexy being illuminated by the glow of a warm fire, it just kinda puts you in the mood. My friends knew I was drunk and were all egging me on dude she’s not bad you should just do it. She followed me inside afterward to my friends little sisters room (she wasnt home) and it took me like 30 minutes to get it up. She had stretch marks all over her stomach she was one of those fatsos where she wasn’t huge but was just a jiggly blubbery mess. I have to say once I got there the pussy wasnt all that bad, I gave her a good run but couldn’t make it and got soft again. She tried sucking it to get me going again and I pushed her off me pretty aggressively and went and passed out on the couch. She came up the next morning and asked for my number and I literally just made up a number on the spot to get her off my back. I like to think she texted some other guy thinking it was me and then struck up a meaningful relationship and lived happily ever after with him.

 

[MonsterSteve]

Actually no. I’ve only gone out with girls Ive found attractive.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I got catfished so hard. This fat ugly bitch used every camera angle and got me. I mean she showed up and wasn't in the same zipcode as her pfp.

Took her to the boat and she dropped something I handed her to carry down. Date over, fatso. Hit the bricks.

I mean she was worse than that fat snagletooth that combover mcextra is married to. Bitch didn't even bring a pizza.

I had this really fat, ugly fucking idiot I knew from highschool harassing me constantly on Facebook messenger a couple years ago. It was like every other night she'd offer to suck my dick. I don't expect you fags to believe this, but I'm very good looking. Like, gross chicks should know that I don't want to fuck them.

After weeks of that, she caught me drunk enough to be like "yeah, I'll go put my dick in this pig's mouth one time." I got there and she was even fatter than I remembered. She had a fucking sleep apnea machine on her bed. She blew me for like 10 minutes and I didn't even get a fucking hint of an erection. I made the crucial misstep of touching her pussy at one point, which literally smelled like garbage, so I just got up and left. She started crying and I felt bad so I acted really sad and told her I was dealing with some shit that I can't get off my mind lol.

I've been pretty lucky to only encounter 2 really gross smelling pussies in my life and was nice about it both times. It is so offensively disgusting that if it ever happens again I'm just going to puke on them. You can't even scrub the stink off your hands and the one time I had to keep pulling over to throw up because I kept smelling my fingers on the steering wheel.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

I had this really fat, ugly fucking idiot I knew from highschool harassing me constantly on Facebook messenger a couple years ago. It was like every other night she'd offer to suck my dick. I don't expect you fags to believe this, but I'm very good looking. Like, gross chicks should know that I don't want to fuck them.

After weeks of that, she caught me drunk enough to be like "yeah, I'll go put my dick in this pig's mouth one time." I got there and she was even fatter than I remembered. She had a fucking sleep apnea machine on her bed. She blew me for like 10 minutes and I didn't even get a fucking hint of an erection. I made the crucial misstep of touching her pussy at one point, which literally smelled like garbage, so I just got up and left. She started crying and I felt bad so I acted really sad and told her I was dealing with some shit that I can't get off my mind lol.

I've been pretty lucky to only encounter 2 really gross smelling pussies in my life and was nice about it both times. It is so offensively disgusting that if it ever happens again I'm just going to puke on them. You can't even scrub the stink off your hands and the one time I had to keep pulling over to throw up because I kept smelling my fingers on the steering wheel.

Lol that reminds me in high school I went down on my ex after she was done softball practice. She was hot as fuck not a nasty pig or anything but she obviously hadn’t showered yet and that pussy smelled the way I imagine a 300 lb hog snatch smells. I actually licked it a couple times and nearly puked. It was like dunking my head into the leach field of a septic tank. I was only 16 and that put me off cunnilingus for a good long time. I’ll never dive in like that ever again without gettin a finger in there first to test the waters. Lesson learned.

 

[Joe_Cumia_Eats_HUMAN_SHIT]

If you're not planning on dumping a load just ghost her. I've said some mean shit to girls when I could've just lied and came up with a better excuse.

Or just tell her your pet died, women always fall for that one.

 

[Mc.Faggot]

Y'all are some grade A queers

Ugly girls who are in love with you are who you put in the friendzone, also known as the drunk hook up zone

Treat her like hot chicks treat ugly/nerdy dudes

This is the only advice you should take on the subject, but if you do wanna get rid of her, you just stop texting back, simple as

 

[JoeCumiaDotCom]

I had this really fat, ugly fucking idiot I knew from highschool harassing me constantly on Facebook messenger a couple years ago. It was like every other night she'd offer to suck my dick. I don't expect you fags to believe this, but I'm very good looking. Like, gross chicks should know that I don't want to fuck them.

After weeks of that, she caught me drunk enough to be like "yeah, I'll go put my dick in this pig's mouth one time." I got there and she was even fatter than I remembered. She had a fucking sleep apnea machine on her bed. She blew me for like 10 minutes and I didn't even get a fucking hint of an erection. I made the crucial misstep of touching her pussy at one point, which literally smelled like garbage, so I just got up and left. She started crying and I felt bad so I acted really sad and told her I was dealing with some shit that I can't get off my mind lol.

I've been pretty lucky to only encounter 2 really gross smelling pussies in my life and was nice about it both times. It is so offensively disgusting that if it ever happens again I'm just going to puke on them. You can't even scrub the stink off your hands and the one time I had to keep pulling over to throw up because I kept smelling my fingers on the steering wheel.

 

[ChildSpitTake]

I had this really fat, ugly fucking idiot I knew from highschool harassing me constantly on Facebook messenger a couple years ago. It was like every other night she'd offer to suck my dick. I don't expect you fags to believe this, but I'm very good looking. Like, gross chicks should know that I don't want to fuck them.

After weeks of that, she caught me drunk enough to be like "yeah, I'll go put my dick in this pig's mouth one time." I got there and she was even fatter than I remembered. She had a fucking sleep apnea machine on her bed. She blew me for like 10 minutes and I didn't even get a fucking hint of an erection. I made the crucial misstep of touching her pussy at one point, which literally smelled like garbage, so I just got up and left. She started crying and I felt bad so I acted really sad and told her I was dealing with some shit that I can't get off my mind lol.

I've been pretty lucky to only encounter 2 really gross smelling pussies in my life and was nice about it both times. It is so offensively disgusting that if it ever happens again I'm just going to puke on them. You can't even scrub the stink off your hands and the one time I had to keep pulling over to throw up because I kept smelling my fingers on the steering wheel.

That sounds vile, Mr Vigoda.

I think I might want you to sign my DVD of Good Burger at a different time.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

Actually no. I’ve only gone out with girls Ive found attractive.

Fag

 

[guest]

Beggars can’t be choosers

 

[DiarrheaDick]

I fucked my landlord for discounts a few times. I always got really drunk and she got kinda pissed once when I went soft and couldn't finish without jerking off on her, but she still texted me back asking about next time. Ugh.

 

[Chuck Berry's Toilet Cams]

I had this really fat, ugly fucking idiot I knew from highschool harassing me constantly on Facebook messenger a couple years ago. It was like every other night she'd offer to suck my dick. I don't expect you fags to believe this, but I'm very good looking. Like, gross chicks should know that I don't want to fuck them.

After weeks of that, she caught me drunk enough to be like "yeah, I'll go put my dick in this pig's mouth one time." I got there and she was even fatter than I remembered. She had a fucking sleep apnea machine on her bed. She blew me for like 10 minutes and I didn't even get a fucking hint of an erection. I made the crucial misstep of touching her pussy at one point, which literally smelled like garbage, so I just got up and left. She started crying and I felt bad so I acted really sad and told her I was dealing with some shit that I can't get off my mind lol.

I've been pretty lucky to only encounter 2 really gross smelling pussies in my life and was nice about it both times. It is so offensively disgusting that if it ever happens again I'm just going to puke on them. You can't even scrub the stink off your hands and the one time I had to keep pulling over to throw up because I kept smelling my fingers on the steering wheel.

I had this chick with a stank-snatch that was not unattractive but it was still tough to power through trying to fuck her. When I moved out and to another state, this buddy of mine gave me this freezer bag full of rubbers of all kinds. I realized the mint scented ones pretty much neutralized the smell. Eventually I ran out of those and decided from then on she'd just be sitting there while I fuck her mouth. I was too lazy to find anymore scented ones and we somehow drifted apart.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

I fucked my landlord for discounts a few times. I always got really drunk and she got kinda pissed once when I went soft and couldn't finish without jerking off on her, but she still texted me back asking about next time. Ugh.

lulz -- how did this even start? She started hinting at the possibility of fucking for discounts?

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

I fucked my landlord for discounts a few times. I always got really drunk and she got kinda pissed once when I went soft and couldn't finish without jerking off on her, but she still texted me back asking about next time. Ugh.

Oof how nasty are we talkin? Was it an old Jewish lady because that’s what I’m picturing in my mind

 

[Easily_Remembered]

I fucked my landlord for discounts a few times. I always got really drunk and she got kinda pissed once when I went soft and couldn't finish without jerking off on her, but she still texted me back asking about next time. Ugh.